Tossing the invites into the trash unopened isn't your only option.
The trees are leafing out. The flowers are blooming. You can’t escape it no matter how much you want to right now. It’s wedding season and the invitations have started arriving.
Your friends deserve happiness and you wish them well, but why the crap do they need to send you an invitation to their flipping wedding?
Don’t they know that just seeing their invitation sends you into a tail spin? It’s like they’re purposely rubbing salt into your divorce wound. Don’t they realize that their invitation is just another reminder of your failure?
Honestly, no, they don’t understand your pain. Unless you’ve been through divorce, you don’t get it.
So the invitations are still going to come. And you need a way to deal with them a little better than just throwing them away unopened and grabbing a pint of Haagen-Dazs, a bottle of wine and/or Tinder.
Option 1: Decline the invitation. If going to a wedding is too painful for you, that’s OK. Divorce griefis a big deal. There’s no reason to put yourself into a situation that will undermine your healing. You have to take care of you first. Your friend will…
Read more: My Friends Are All Getting Married, But I'm Getting Divorced
Use these tips to determine if breaking up your family is the right answer.
Wondering if you need to leave your marriage is torturous.
Questions swirl in your mind and intrude in your day as you wrestle with the decision. Would I be better off without her? Can we afford to get divorced? Could I find happiness (or at least satisfaction) with another woman? And then the one that haunts you the most is How will divorce affect the kids?
Divorcing your wife is one thing. She’s an adult. She has the ability to take care of herself and move on with her life.
But divorcing the mother of your children is another thing entirely. Because you know ending your marriage to their mother will impact your children for the rest of their lives AND you know it will change your relationship with them forever.
You’ve done some research and virtually every reputable source you can find says that divorce negatively impacts children. So maybe you should stick it out until they’re grown. Give them the gift of being a man and toughing it out so they’ll have the solid foundation of an intact family.
But what if the example you set for them by…
Read more: 9 Ways A Man Can Make A Decision About Divorcing The Mother Of His Children
Including your spouse?
Love is a funny thing. We’ve heard all our lives that it’s "patient and kind, not envious, boastful or proud. Love doesn’t dishonor. It isn’t self-seeking, easily angered or resentful. It always protects, trusts, hopes perseveres and never fails." Oh, and that love rejoices in truth. (Yes, this is a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 13.)
And then there’s our marriage vows that say, "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health."
But do you notice? ... In those definitions, we only cover how we should demonstrate love to another. No one's teaching us how to receive love from our spouse(or anyone else for that matter).
Why does this matter? Because, when you don't know how to receive love, you end up settling. You settle for meh — for 'fine.' And you might even settle for poisonous, violent, and horrible.
You do so because you convince yourself that the problem is you — that somehow you don't act loving enough. So you try even harder and harder to love the other person, hoping that if you get good enough at it, that person will love you back.
But here’s a harsh but loving truth:Some people are just not good for you (and never will be) and you…
Read more: Some People Aren't Good For You (No Matter How Much You Love Them)
Could it really be this simple? AB-SO-LUTE-LY!
I get it. You’re incredibly busy.
You have a demanding job that requires your complete attention. Your team, your customers – not to mention your boss are all counting on you to perform at your best. After all, that’s who you are – a real achiever who loves what they do despite the long stressful days.
Then there’s home. The kids are involved in tons of activities and you’re their chauffer. You’ve got home maintenance chores (and cleaning) to do. Your pets need to be cared for. You’ve got clothes to wash and put away. Oh yeah, and then there’s the grocery shopping and meal preparation.
Every second of your day is accounted for and all you want from your spouse is for them to be your helpmate and lover without making more demands on your time. Yet for some reason that’s not happening. And when you think about it, it hasn’t happened for a long time.
Your relationship is strained. And the strain is making it harder for you to get through the rest of your life.
What if there was a simple answer that would make your relationship blossom again?
What if your relationship became the…
Read more: Do This One Thing To Have A Happy Marriage
Yes, even with a failed marriage your life after divorce can be successful (and happy).
I can hear you now. “Success? Who the crap can think about success or happiness when their marriage just ended in divorce?”
Although you might not initially believe me, you should think about both happiness and success right now – not from the standpoint of how you don’t have either, but from the standpoint of how you can achieve both.
Look, your life is happening right now and the only way to make sure your life after divorce works for you is if you make the effort to start getting some things in order as quickly as you’re able.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being flip about the pain you’re feeling.
Your divorce is probably one of the lowest points of your life. (It was for me.) Not only is your old life stripped away, but you’re faced with really hard questions about how to make your way through life on your own (maybe even as a single parent).
You’re going to have to continue the hard work you’ve already been doing to set yourself (and your kids) up for a successful post-divorce life. Transitioning from married to single…
Read more: 5 Daily Habits To Jump-Start Success In Your Life After Divorce