December 22, 2013
Unlike Grandma’s recipe for fudge, dealing with divorce over the holidays isn’t usually a recipe for happiness. More often than not, it’s a recipe for days of pasted on smiles and long nights of extreme sadness. Luckily, it doesn’t HAVE to be that way.
One of the things I teach in my teleconferences and to my clients is that when you’re going through divorce you need to learn the difference between your emotional box and your business box.
You’re in your emotional box when you allow yourself to express and experience all the emotions associated with your divorce. Depending on where you are in your divorce journey, your emotional box could be filled with pain, hurt, shock, denial, fear, loneliness, guilt, rejection, grief and anger. None of these emotions are especially helpful for making the holidays merry and bright.
You’re in your business box when you allow yourself to focus only on the decisions and tasks that you must address. For example, it’s best to be in your business box when you’re selecting your divorce attorney and when you’re negotiating the terms of your divorce settlement.
Because these boxes have such distinct purposes, it’s very helpful to be able to choose which box you’re in…
Read more: Divorced? How To Add Some Happiness To Your Holidays
October 22, 2013
Life is crazy enough without having to deal with divorce recovery. Learn how to make it easier.
When I got divorced in 2002, I thought that after the decree was signed by the judge everything would be better. I'd somehow magically be over all of the pain, fear, anger and disorganization that seemed to have overtaken my life. But, as you've probably guessed, the divorce decree wasn’t quite the magic wand I was hoping for.
It took me more than a year to really get myself feeling good again. There were just so many changes in my life and I didn't have a great way for absorbing all them, given the demands of a life I was already dealing with. I wound up procrastinating instead of doing things. My house was a wreck. I hardly had any food in the kitchen, but that didn't matter because I didn't eat much. My health was deteriorating. I was hardly sleeping. I think I was running on adrenaline, caffeine, sugar and not much else. Bottom line: I was exhausted and falling behind on everything.
I found my way out of the mess divorce created in my life, but it wasn't a simple task. I had to decide what…
Read more: Time Management Tips For Real Divorce Recovery