Life After Divorce

30 Awesome Ideas for Valentine’s Friend Dates

Tip #20: Visit a pet shelter for some serious snuggle time.

Whether you're single by choice or circumstance, Valentine's Day can seem more like Single's Awareness Day instead of a day celebrating love. Rather than dreading February 14, why not try something different? Celebrating with your girlfriends is a great alternative to sitting at home alone or feeling jealous about the flowers that co-worker received from her boyfriend.

So in the spirit of love, here are 30 ideas to spark your creativity for celebrating this Valentine's Day with your besties.

  1. Host a karaoke night.
  2. Have a Wii dance party. You might want to try Zumba, belly dancing, disco or stripper moves.
  3. Go out for manis and pedis.
  4. Treat each other to lunch. Yes, you'll each still have a bill, but somehow it's still fun to know you were treated to lunch!
  5. Send each other a gift at work.  Who doesn't love to receive flowers or chocolate for Valentine's Day and letting the whole office see?
  6. Send each other "what I love about you" notes. This is your chance to tell her how much you love her brilliance or kindness or sense of humor or…  And you'll get to hear the same from her!
  7. You've…

Read more: 30 Awesome Ideas for Valentine’s Friend Dates

My Attorney and I Aren’t on the Same Page – What Now?

Work with a divorce attorney before you sign those papers.

This is a post by guest blogger Joy Ragan.

There is often a misconception that your attorney should be an extension of you. People believe the attorney is supposed to “speak on their behalf” and, therefore, should say or do exactly as the client directs. This is a dangerous way of thinking. Attorneys do speak for clients. Attorneys are their voice in the courtroom. However, attorneys are not puppets. If you and your attorney are not on the “same page” it probably means you have a good attorney.

Think of it this way, attorneys work in the system daily. Attorneys know the ways of the court system. They see thousands of cases and have a very different perspective from those who are going through a divorce. Attorneys are trained to deal with a case as a set of facts and to apply those facts to the law to gain the best possible result for the client. A person who is going through a divorce does not look at the situation in this way at all. It is actually a very unnatural way to view your circumstances. Especially in a divorce, there are many emotions. On some level, you want your attorney to “be on the…

Read more: My Attorney and I Aren’t on the Same Page – What Now?

21 Tips To Survive Divorce And The Holidays

Make the season brighter by learning how to survive divorce and the holidays.

The holidays are typically a time for celebration with friends and family. Yet, when you’re divorcing, the holiday season can feel anything but merry. To help you enjoy this holiday season instead of dreading it, here are 21 tips you can use today to survive your divorce and the holidays.

1. Be patient

Even in the best of times, the holidays can be a bit hectic. However, when you’re celebrating the holidays for the first time on your own, they can feel more than hectic. They can feel overwhelming! You’ve got so much going on emotionally with your divorce that the added tasks, events and scheduling of the holidays can all be just a bit too much.

Be patient with yourself, your kids and the rest of your family as you navigate the holidays. This is new and different for everyone and a little patience will go a long way toward making your first holidays post-separation/divorce more enjoyable than you might believe they can be right now.

2. Be flexible

The holidays are about celebrating with family and friends and don’t HAVE to occur on only one specific day. Many of my clients who are celebrating the holidays for the first time as a single…

Read more: 21 Tips To Survive Divorce And The Holidays

Divorced? How To Add Some Happiness To Your Holidays

Unlike Grandma’s recipe for fudge, dealing with divorce over the holidays isn’t usually a recipe for happiness. More often than not, it’s a recipe for days of pasted on smiles and long nights of extreme sadness. Luckily, it doesn’t HAVE to be that way.

One of the things I teach in my teleconferences and to my clients is that when you’re going through divorce you need to learn the difference between your emotional box and your business box.

You’re in your emotional box when you allow yourself to express and experience all the emotions associated with your divorce. Depending on where you are in your divorce journey, your emotional box could be filled with pain, hurt, shock, denial, fear, loneliness, guilt, rejection, grief and anger. None of these emotions are especially helpful for making the holidays merry and bright.

You’re in your business box when you allow yourself to focus only on the decisions and tasks that you must address. For example, it’s best to be in your business box when you’re selecting your divorce attorney and when you’re negotiating the terms of your divorce settlement.

Because these boxes have such distinct purposes, it’s very helpful to be able to choose which box you’re in…

Read more: Divorced? How To Add Some Happiness To Your Holidays

Time Management Tips For Real Divorce Recovery

Life is crazy enough without having to deal with divorce recovery. Learn how to make it easier.

When I got divorced in 2002, I thought that after the decree was signed by the judge everything would be better. I'd somehow magically be over all of the pain, fear, anger and disorganization that seemed to have overtaken my life. But, as you've probably guessed, the divorce decree wasn’t quite the magic wand I was hoping for. 

It took me more than a year to really get myself feeling good again. There were just so many changes in my life and I didn't have a great way for absorbing all them, given the demands of a life I was already dealing with. I wound up procrastinating instead of doing things. My house was a wreck. I hardly had any food in the kitchen, but that didn't matter because I didn't eat much. My health was deteriorating. I was hardly sleeping. I think I was running on adrenaline, caffeine, sugar and not much else. Bottom line: I was exhausted and falling behind on everything.

I found my way out of the mess divorce created in my life, but it wasn't a simple task. I had to decide what…

Read more: Time Management Tips For Real Divorce Recovery

Feeling Stuck, Lost And Confused?

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you’ll ever experience.

What You Need To Know Cover

Get your FREE copy of “What You Need To Know To FINALLY Start Healing From Your Divorce Right Now” workbook to help you start feeling better.

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