Unhappy Marriage?

Happy Wife, Happy Life: Here's How To Make Her Happy

Just be her friend.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” The problem is it’s hard (and it can feel impossible) to know what makes her happy because, let’s face it, we women are way different from you guys.

What I want you to know is that your heart is obviously in the right place. (If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be reading this.) You just need to stop assuming that your wife thinks like you do. (And us ladies need to stop assuming you think like we do too.)

And yet it’s natural to think that your spouse thinks like you do. After all it sure seemed like you did when you first fell in love, right?

Well, here’s the thing, after all of the love potion wears off and you start living your real lives as husband and wife you stop being hyper-focused on each other. And when you stop being hyper-focused you stop thinking alike because other things, people, events and experiences now claim some (or maybe most) of your attention.

Hopefully, you’re getting the idea that it’s going to take a little work on your part to get things turned around in your marriage to the…

Read more: Happy Wife, Happy Life: Here's How To Make Her Happy

Speak Up To Save Your Unhappy Marriage

Honest and respectful communication could be the key to saving your marriage.

We’ve all done it. We’ve kept our mouths shut (sometimes only by clenching our jaws) when everything inside of us is screaming to let our spouse know what we’re feeling and/or thinking.

There are times when you just don’t want to open the can of worms that saying “I think you’re an idiot” or “You’ve hurt me so much – again – that I know I’d be better off without you” would blow the lid off of. Really, what good would saying this stuff do?

It probably isn’t obvious yet what good telling your inner-most thoughts to your spouse can do. BUT not telling them only does one thing – guarantees that your marriage becomes unhappy (if it isn’t already).

Now, I’m not advocating that you tell your spouse every fleeting thought and emotion that goes through your head. What I am suggesting is that if you had been truthful about the first time you didn’t understand why your mate did something, you might know they’re not really an idiot for doing it again now. Or if you had told them how much they hurt you when they said or did xyz, you…

Read more: Speak Up To Save Your Unhappy Marriage

Can I Save My Marriage With Gratitude?

Man looking skeptical at the idea I can save my marriage with gratitude.

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. ~Wayne Dyer

According to Dictionary.com, gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation, as for gifts or favors. Gratitude also been defined as “an estimate of gain coupled with the judgment that someone else is responsible for that gain” by Robert C. Solomon in his book The Passions.

Now if your marriage isn’t exactly blissful and you’re wondering if you can or even want to save it, feeling thankful for it isn’t an easy thing to do. BUT it may be exactly what you need to do.

According to Robert Emmons, Ph.D, gratitude has some serious, science-proven benefits that will change the way you look at the world (which, btw, includes your marriage). In one of his studies, participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to make progress toward important personal goal.

Yes, “I want to save my marriage” is definitely an important personal goal that could be more easily gained by practicing gratitude.

This doesn’t mean that you need to feel grateful for every argument you have with your spouse. (Although you could be grateful for the learning opportunity the argument gives you, but that’s a…

Read more: Can I Save My Marriage With Gratitude?

These Two Common Mistakes Will Give You An Unhappy Marriage

Woman struggling with what to do about her unhappy marriage.

Stop making these two mistakes and you’ll have a happier marriage.

It’s absolutely exhausting trying to make your marriage work and keep up with all of your other responsibilities. You feel like you’re in it all alone with no hope of things ever getting better. When you took those vows of for better or worse, you really didn’t think that it would be for worse or you’d probably never have gotten married in the first place.

The good news is not all unhappy marriages need to stay that way. It doesn’t always require your spouse to join in with you from the beginning of your plan to make the marriage better. Sometimes you hold the key to turning everything around if you just stop making two basic mistakes.

But before talking about the two biggest mistakes people make in marriages, it’s important to know what a good marriage is.

A good marriage consists of two whole, happy people who choose marriage. You can think of these two happy people as each existing in a separate circle. These separate circles are inside of another circle which represents their marriage. Together these individuals focus on building their marriage.

Most married couples have children. By becoming parents, the couple…

Read more: These Two Common Mistakes Will Give You An Unhappy Marriage

Blind Belief In Romantic Quotes Could Destroy Your Marriage

Not all romantic quotes are true. Some sow the seeds of discontent or even divorce.

‘Tis the season for weddings. And if you’re like most people you probably wonder how many of the couples who walk down the aisle are going to make it – especially if you’re one of the couples walking down the aisle!

Like anything in life, beliefs and expectations have a lot to do with whether or not a couple will make it.

That’s why when I saw this list of romantic quotes about love and marriage that I got worried. Many of these quotes romanticize love and marriage so much that anyone who takes them to heart will have a difficult (or maybe impossible) time keeping their marriage intact.

Let me give you a few of examples.

“That’s when you know for sure that somebody loves you. They figure out what you need and they give it to you – without you asking.” Adriana Trigiani

OMG! Really?! This is an absolute recipe for disaster. Marriages take work and maintaining love takes work. The obsession of new love wears off over time and an expectation that your spouse will continue to read your mind and know exactly what you need exactly…

Read more: Blind Belief In Romantic Quotes Could Destroy Your Marriage

Feeling Stuck, Lost And Confused?

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you’ll ever experience.

What You Need To Know Cover

Get your FREE copy of “What You Need To Know To FINALLY Start Healing From Your Divorce Right Now” workbook to help you start feeling better.

 *
 *
 *