Divorce Blog

11 Reasons Why An Affair Is A Bad Idea

Woman reminding herself why an affair is a bad idea despite her temptation.

Having an affair is one of the worst decisions you can make for yourself – and your family.

You’ve been unhappy in your marriage for a while now. It seems that things will never change – that your spouse will continue ignoring your needs.

You’re tired of feeling stuck, ignored and unloved in your marriage. So when someone else shows you the attention you’ve been craving you’re naturally drawn to them.

But before you continue down the slippery slope you’re precariously perched upon, pause and examine why having an affair is a bad idea.

Affairs hurt everyone – not just your spouse. They hurt you, your lover, their spouse, your children, their children, your family, their family, your friends and their friends. That’s a lot of people.

And before you start wondering too much about what an affair is, know that anytime you feel the need to keep a relationship secret from your spouse – regardless of whether you’re having sex with this other person or not – you’re having an affair.

Just what makes infidelity so bad?

These are the biggest reasons why an affair is a bad idea:

  1. You’re choosing to live in fear of changing your marriage.

    If everything was great in your marriage,…

Read more: 11 Reasons Why An Affair Is A Bad Idea

How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

Your old life is over. Here's how to start your new one.

When you find out your spouse has filed for divorce, it’s pretty normal to feel disbelief – like there must be some mistake.

There’s no way they would just throw in the towel like that … would they?

Once they confirm that they do want out, you’re overcome with despair.

You wonder if you’ll survive this completely unwanted destruction of your life.

And as reality begins to sink in, your fears start to rise up. In the midst of your despair, you’re overcome with dread because you begin imagining what your life (and your kids’ lives) will become.

All you can see is misery, destruction, and legal bills.

Some of your fears are true.

Divorce will destroy your life, but only the life that was – not the life that’s ahead of you.

And believe it or not, despite how terrifying they are, your fears are actually trying to help you survive your divorce and create a new life for yourself that will really work for you.

Despite the terror they induce, your fears are warnings.

They are the absolute worst-case scenario and alert you to a risk or threat you’re facing that…

Read more: How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

Woman smiling because she knows you'll get over your divorce.

Use these 3 tips for building your self-confidence and get over your divorce.

Failure. That’s what divorce is. It’s the failure of a marriage.

Divorce is NOT your personal failure. Yet that’s what almost everyone who gets divorced struggles with – the belief that they are now and forever more a failure of the worst kind because their marriage went bust.

Despite knowing the logical fact that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail, it’s almost impossible not to fall into the trap of believing that somehow you’re more responsible.

And to go along with the guilt about being a failure, you’re probably comparing yourself to all those other people you know who are still married. It’s like you’re piling on misery on top of misery with no way out from underneath the suffocating weight of failure.

What you’re experiencing is normal. However, “normal” doesn’t really help you emerge from the quagmire of self-loathing. So how do you stop beating yourself up? How can you ever believe that you’re not a failure (and that you are worth loving)? By building your self-confidence.

Maybe this answer sounds trivial to you or maybe it sounds impossible. Either way, it’s obvious you’re…

Read more: How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

How To Recover After Divorce

Woman contemplating the question: How To Recovery After Divorce?

These 19 tips will help you heal from your divorce so you can move on with your life.

Divorce knocks you down in just about every way imaginable. Along with losing your marriage, you lose your lifestyle, the goal of raising your children in an intact family, and all the other dreams you had for the future. Each loss feels like another blow that takes you lower and lower into the depths of divorce despair.

Although you know there are plenty of people who have made it through divorce, you wonder what they knew about how to recover after divorce that you don’t. And then you think maybe your divorce is so much more horrible than what others have gone through that what they did won’t work for you.

And so your torturous thoughts turn as you wrestle with worries about how to get over your divorce. The problem is that the more you worry about it, the harder it is for you to recover which throws your thoughts back to thinking that your divorce is just so much more horrible than anyone else’s.

It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you stuck.

But you can break out of it. You can stop the self-destructive thoughts.…

Read more: How To Recover After Divorce

What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

Child whose parents are each struggling with co parenting with a toxic ex.

These 6 tips will help you become a better co parent despite how poisonous your ex is.

People call their ex toxic for a lot of different reasons – from anger about the divorce, fear about their ex’s parenting abilities, abuse, narcissism, alienating the children, and addiction. This wide range of descriptions makes it really difficult to find reliable information about co parenting with a toxic ex.

This confusion, on top of the already unwanted and tumultuous emotions of divorce, is the last thing you need.

Although the tips below will help you co parent regardless of the poisonous nature of your ex, they will be most helpful if your toxic ex behaves poorly toward you (and, at times, your children). If your ex’s toxicity is due to something more severe, you may want to have more specific help. (Here are some resources to help you get more pertinent information about co parenting with an abuser, an addict and a narcissist.)

  1. Get clear about what’s most important to you as a parent.The most important thing to any parent is taking care of their children. Putting your kids and their needs front and center will help you focus and more easily navigate the poor behavior of…

Read more: What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

Feeling Stuck, Lost And Confused?

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you’ll ever experience.

What You Need To Know Cover

Get your FREE copy of “What You Need To Know To FINALLY Start Healing From Your Divorce Right Now” workbook to help you start feeling better.

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