- August 26, 2013
Paying attention to your pets can provide a lot of inspiration for getting through your divorce.
I have four pets, two cats and two dogs. They each have very distinct personalities. Jewel is the youngest cat at about 12. Her short fur is all black except for a patch of white at the base of her neck. She's all about food, cuddling and sunbathing. Her figure reflects her hedonistic life style and on the rare occasions when she runs, her furry belly wobbles so much that I’m amazed it doesn't get totally out of control!
Meow is an elderly cat who is a mix of just about everything: Siamese, Persian and Tabby. She is very regal and knows exactly what she wants and when she wants it. I love her determination.
Marti is a four-year-old black lab mix. His greatest joys in life are kids, food and playing, especially outside. Wait a minute. Make that playing outside with kids. Oh, oh, make that playing outside with kids who have food they're willing to share. That's Marti. He seems to always come up with ways to make whatever he's doing even more fun.
Tonic is a twelve-year-old Australian shepherd mix. She's big into cuddling and kissing,…
Read more: Life Lessons From The Litter Box (And Pooper Scooper) Set
- August 19, 2013
The ability to compromise is one of the requirements for a successful long-term relationship. Although when the relationship ends, it’s pretty common to realize that what you were calling compromise really wasn’t. You discover you were giving in or giving up for the sake of keeping the peace or being a wonderful partner. In essence, you lost and your partner won.
If someone wins and someone loses, it’s not compromise. It’s a contest and there’s a score.
Although we’re taught to be good sports when we’re kids – you know be a gracious winner and a good sport about losing – I don’t know anyone who likes to lose again and again and again. That’s because continually losing in a contest can lead us to think that we’re less than our opponent. When our opponent is our partner, it’s a recipe for disaster. They start to also believe that we’re less than they are and treat us that way. Then, we start resenting them and lose a little piece of ourselves every time we stuff our thoughts and feelings for the sake of “compromise”.
Compromise isn’t about always doing what someone else expects or wants. Compromise in a relationship is about two people who respect…
Read more: Compromise Isn’t A Contest
- August 12, 2013
Mom was wrong; name calling isn't always bad. Sometimes, it's exactly what you need.
Do you remember the first time you called someone "stupid?" I remember the first time I did. I also remember the conversation mom had with me for doing so. She explained that it wasn't nice to call someone names because it makes them feel bad. Part of me felt ashamed for having done something to make someone else (in this case, it was my younger brother) feel bad. And then there was another part of me that filed the information away to be used in future battles.
Yes, I did use name calling in arguments I had with other kids too — kids at school and kids in the neighborhood. I even resorted to name calling when I got angry at my parents. I'd call them "meanies!"
Then puberty hit and I got a lot more creative in my name calling. The extra creativity resulted from hanging around other kids, my voracious appetite for reading and all the "bad names" I made up from my French class lessons.
I have to admit that I didn't limit my name calling to arguments I had with other people. I also developed a…
Read more: Name Calling Can Help You Quickly Heal From Your Divorce
- August 5, 2013
Divorce is devastating. In the beginning, it can leave you feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and even unlovable. Then, you start to feel angry and vengeful on top of feeling lost, alone, confused, depressed and unlovable. After a while you just don’t know which horrible emotion you’re going to experience next. It can be kind of like being blindfolded, tied up and stuck on a run-away rollercoaster of misery. All you want is to just feel “normal” again.
Unfortunately, for most people, finding their way back to “normal” isn’t obvious or easy after divorce. Because of this the divorce rollercoaster ride can seem never ending.
But, there is a way to short-circuit this horrific ride of negative emotions. It requires you to know 10 specific things about yourself.
By knowing just these 10 things about yourself, you can start to feel more like you because you’ll be directly disproving one of the most horrible negative thoughts anyone can have – believing that you are unlovable.
Knowing that you are lovable is one of the most critical beliefs for living a happy life. It’s part of our wiring as humans. We need to have a sense of belonging and love to thrive.
But that’s exactly what divorce…
Read more: How To Create Your Short-Cut To Divorce Recovery
- July 30, 2013
More than 350,000 family abductions occur in the U.S. each year, nearly 1,000 per day. 1,000 children abducted by a parent, a relative every day! On November 2, 1987, I lost my two children to such an abduction by their father. Monica was almost six years old; David was one and half. I had never known or heard of anyone who had had a child abducted either by a family member or non-family individual(s). I did not know where to turn or what to do. What I fervently did know was I would find and be with my children no matter the obstacles. Above all, I vowed I would never give up hope.
During the almost thirteen years it took for me to locate and reunite with Monica and David, my journey had many twists, turns, and often heartbreaking dead-ends. For a long time, I was unable to look at or touch my children’s toys and clothes that had been left behind. I would drive by the school where Monica had attended kindergarten and I would start to cry. A child in a stroller would remind me of David.
There were numerous calls to and conversations with local, state, and Federal law enforcement, and…
Read more: Love, Patience, And Always Hope