Divorce Blog

How Unexpected Events Give You The Opportunity To Increase Self-Awareness

Man sitting on a balcony and contemplating his self-awareness.

When the unexpected comes knocking (and it always will), how do you greet it? As an anxiety-inducing uh-oh that needs to be circumvented or eradicated altogether? Or as an opportunity to increase self-awareness and problem-solving skills?

This whole concept of self-awareness may conjure up images of escaping to Walden Pond with an Oprah’s Book Club bestseller. New Age-y, impractical, midlife-enlightenment stuff that makes eyes roll and guests leave the dinner table before dessert.

But not so fast….

While any term preceded by “self-“ may sound like a topic for another day, no prefix is more conducive to a vibrant life with healthy relationships.

And the foundation of all these “selfies” is self-awareness. 

Life, in its broadest sense, is about lessons. And those lessons grow out of our perceptions of and responses to the events life presents to us.

As you develop self-awareness, you also develop communication and relationship skills — genuine, sustainable, transferable skills.

And, as you increase self-awareness, you also develop leadership skills that can improve every area of your life.

Think about a favorite teacher, boss, or project lead. Why was that specific person chosen for that specific position? And what made him/her so good at it?

Chances are your answers will include…

Read more: How Unexpected Events Give You The Opportunity To Increase Self-Awareness

How To Create A Happy And Healthy Life For Yourself

Woman jumping for joy because she is living a happy and healthy life.

It seems like such a given of an aspiration, doesn’t it — the simple desire for a happy and healthy life?  And yet, guilds of writers, philosophers, and Buddha wannabes expound on how to achieve it.

For all our modern advances and easy-access knowledge, we humans still go about trying to reinvent the wheel. Or so it seems with the simplest of quests.

And that meddling little thing called Life sure has a way of interrupting its own bliss at the most inopportune times.

In the infinite wisdom of Rosanne Rosanna Danna, “It’s always something. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. It’s always something.” 

Sometimes we humans just need to be reminded. Pulled back a little. Put on pause. Baptized in a font of crystal clear simplicity and essential proverbs to keep us connected to what matters.

If you’re in need of a little refresher course in building a happy life that’s healthy too, you’re in the right place.

Some of these practices belong in your daily routine. And some lend themselves more to a weekly, monthly, or yearly routine. But they will all help to reawaken your happiness.

Here are some easy tips for steering your life in the direction of happiness…

Read more: How To Create A Happy And Healthy Life For Yourself

How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, "My Life Got Better After Divorce"

Man giving 2 thumbs up because he can say, "My life got better after divorce."

The process of divorce — the lead-up, the decision, the legal circus — is often more about getting out of unhappiness than stepping into happiness. Being able to say, “My life got better after divorce” may be a long time coming. But holding onto that vision can fuel your healing and progress.

If you’re the one initiating the split, you may be driven by the hope of a happier life after the divorce. You may be making plans in your daydream hours, if only to give yourself energy through a difficult and draining process.

Whether or not you want the divorce, you may also be plagued by the fear that your life will never be good again. Insecurities about your lovability, self-worth, relationship skills, financial security, employment, lifestyle, parenting, and social life can wreak havoc on hope.

But there are ways to set yourself up for both happiness and success.

And there are ways to strengthen your resolve en route to the day when you will say, with retrospect, “My life got better after divorce.”

  • Grieve. 

    It’s certainly not the part of divorce you look forward to or think of as making your life better. But dealing with grief after divorce really isn’t an option.

    It’s also…

Read more: How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, "My Life Got Better After Divorce"

Wondering "Why Is My Marriage Unhappy?" Here’s What You Need To Do

Woman looking forlornly at her husband who is engrossed in his phone.

How did we end up here? Why is my marriage unhappy? We had such big dreams when we got married, and now we just exist.

Crossing the threshold into married life is often a bigger leap than couples are prepared for.

You’ve been there. You remember the bliss, the take-the-world-by-storm dream of all life’s possibilities.

You remember having almost everything in common. And you remember filling in the gaps of your differences with the creation of new and positive agreements to strengthen your connection.

You probably even remember acknowledging beneath the snow of pixie dust that “life won’t always be perfect.” But no matter, you would “lean on one another and get through it together.”

And yet, somehow you have arrived at the stark awareness of your disappointment and dissatisfaction.

Why is my marriage unhappy? Is it me? Is it him/her? Is it “us”? How do I figure it out? And can we get back to being happy?

Getting your marriage compass redirected to true north involves more than spinning in circles and waiting for the needle to settle. It requires a mapping of your coordinates, as well as your surroundings.

You may have only recently articulated those despondent descriptors – unhappy, miserable,…

Read more: Wondering "Why Is My Marriage Unhappy?" Here’s What You Need To Do

How Can Self-Awareness Be Developed?

Woman looking up while standing in a forest and contemplating her self-awareness.

There are destinations we never reach, though we persevere on the journey. And there are books that are never finished, though the author continues to outline and edit. But what about the self – that perpetual, cradle-to-coffin quest that remains ever elusive? Can we consciously “build” on it? And, if so, how can self-awareness be developed?

The irony of self-awareness is that it exceeds mere awareness.

At some point early in life, the child looks in the mirror and connects his reflection with the physical being standing before the glass.

This objective awareness is just that objective. It doesn’t exude from an evaluative processing or contemplation of experience. It has no moral relevance, no inspiration for behavioral modification.

And yet, awareness of the objective self is foundational to what comes after: the subjective self.

It’s here, where the mirror reflects inward, that self-awareness steps out on a lifetime journey. And, though there may be looking back, there can never be turning back.

Roy Baumeister describes the concept of self-awareness as:

Anticipating how others perceive you, evaluating yourself and your actions according to collective beliefs and values, and caring about how others evaluate you.

Even within the quiet containment of the individual self, self-awareness has profound…

Read more: How Can Self-Awareness Be Developed?

Articles Search