Divorce Blog

7 Things To Know About Getting Used To Life After Divorce

Sad woman struggling with thoughts of getting used to life after divorce.

It’s that one constant in life: change. A new home, a never-thought-I-could-do-this career move, the death of a loved one, getting used to life after divorce….They’re all about change, movement, growth...and adapting.

Some change you expect, whether you welcome it or futilely wish it away. There is, after all, a reason those in-the-know say that aging isn’t for sissies, despite the irony of its blessing.

Some change happens on a dime, and it can just as easily be for profit as for loss.

Some change comes from tragedy — split-second, terrifying, incomprehensible, forever life-altering.

And some change happens with your full awareness and full participation, regardless of any prescience of the outcome.

Divorce, despite its collective branding, is unique to every couple. It is also unique to each individual within that couple. 

There are, after all, multiple histories that build the foundation of every relationship. 

And, if and when you leave that relationship, you will leave with a new history. 

You will always have your personal early chapters. But relationships can shift the way even those are read and ultimately perceived.

You will also have new chapters. Chapters influenced by the melding of two histories in the creation of a new…

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When Is A Marriage Unhealthy?

A woman trying to cover up her sadness about her unhealthy marriage with a smile.

When is it time to take notice? When is a marriage unhealthy vs. just in need of a little spring cleaning? 

Just like housekeeping, marriage inevitably sees its share of “just stick it in the dishwasher for now” management. Kids need to get to school, you need to get to work, bills need to get paid. And, well, the house needs to be cleaned.

But eventually, there is a moment of awakening. That moment when your eye catches the gray layer on top of your furniture, and a finger-swipe reveals what’s underneath the dust.

Is just a little Pledge-and-wipe warranted, or is this an indication of what might be lurking in corners and under the furniture?

When is a marriage just navigating “life”? And when is a marriage unhealthy?

If you knew how things would look and feel years down the road, surely you would pay attention now.

Or so you would think.

The truth is, we are constantly forewarned about every aspect of life. Health, exercise, nutrition, investing, parenting, education, etc. 

And yet, if you’re like most of the world, it’s not until the consequences strike that you take notice.

When it comes to recognizing an unhealthy marriage, there are signs that…

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How Unexpected Events Give You The Opportunity To Increase Self-Awareness

Man sitting on a balcony and contemplating his self-awareness.

When the unexpected comes knocking (and it always will), how do you greet it? As an anxiety-inducing uh-oh that needs to be circumvented or eradicated altogether? Or as an opportunity to increase self-awareness and problem-solving skills?

This whole concept of self-awareness may conjure up images of escaping to Walden Pond with an Oprah’s Book Club bestseller. New Age-y, impractical, midlife-enlightenment stuff that makes eyes roll and guests leave the dinner table before dessert.

But not so fast….

While any term preceded by “self-“ may sound like a topic for another day, no prefix is more conducive to a vibrant life with healthy relationships.

And the foundation of all these “selfies” is self-awareness. 

Life, in its broadest sense, is about lessons. And those lessons grow out of our perceptions of and responses to the events life presents to us.

As you develop self-awareness, you also develop communication and relationship skills — genuine, sustainable, transferable skills.

And, as you increase self-awareness, you also develop leadership skills that can improve every area of your life.

Think about a favorite teacher, boss, or project lead. Why was that specific person chosen for that specific position? And what made him/her so good at it?

Chances are your answers will include…

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How To Create A Happy And Healthy Life For Yourself

Woman jumping for joy because she is living a happy and healthy life.

It seems like such a given of an aspiration, doesn’t it — the simple desire for a happy and healthy life?  And yet, guilds of writers, philosophers, and Buddha wannabes expound on how to achieve it.

For all our modern advances and easy-access knowledge, we humans still go about trying to reinvent the wheel. Or so it seems with the simplest of quests.

And that meddling little thing called Life sure has a way of interrupting its own bliss at the most inopportune times.

In the infinite wisdom of Rosanne Rosanna Danna, “It’s always something. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another. It’s always something.” 

Sometimes we humans just need to be reminded. Pulled back a little. Put on pause. Baptized in a font of crystal clear simplicity and essential proverbs to keep us connected to what matters.

If you’re in need of a little refresher course in building a happy life that’s healthy too, you’re in the right place.

Some of these practices belong in your daily routine. And some lend themselves more to a weekly, monthly, or yearly routine. But they will all help to reawaken your happiness.

Here are some easy tips for steering your life in the direction of happiness…

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How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, "My Life Got Better After Divorce"

Man giving 2 thumbs up because he can say, "My life got better after divorce."

The process of divorce — the lead-up, the decision, the legal circus — is often more about getting out of unhappiness than stepping into happiness. Being able to say, “My life got better after divorce” may be a long time coming. But holding onto that vision can fuel your healing and progress.

If you’re the one initiating the split, you may be driven by the hope of a happier life after the divorce. You may be making plans in your daydream hours, if only to give yourself energy through a difficult and draining process.

Whether or not you want the divorce, you may also be plagued by the fear that your life will never be good again. Insecurities about your lovability, self-worth, relationship skills, financial security, employment, lifestyle, parenting, and social life can wreak havoc on hope.

But there are ways to set yourself up for both happiness and success.

And there are ways to strengthen your resolve en route to the day when you will say, with retrospect, “My life got better after divorce.”

  • Grieve. 

    It’s certainly not the part of divorce you look forward to or think of as making your life better. But dealing with grief after divorce really isn’t an option.

    It’s also…

Read more: How To Be Able To Look Back And Say, "My Life Got Better After Divorce"

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