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Coparenting

How To Set Boundaries When Co Parenting With A Narcissist

Boundaries when co parenting are critical to raising happy, healthy kids.

Implementing these boundaries when co parenting will make parenting with your narcissistic ex easier.

One of the reasons your marriage ended in divorce was because living with a narcissist just wasn’t worth it any longer.

You hoped that by getting divorced your life would be infinitely better. You’d do your work to overcome the PTSD and low self-esteem and depression and whatever else you were suffering with in your marriage and things would be better for you and for your kids.

And now that you’re divorced, some things are better.

But when it comes to co parenting with your ex, the torture you experience is the same as (or worse than) it was when you were married.

You chose co parenting for your children because “experts” promote it as the best way to parent post-divorce. You followed their advice that the key to being successful is to set boundaries when co parenting. Well, you’ve tried and tried to establish boundaries to make co parenting with a narcissist work, but life is still a living hell whenever you interact with your ex.

The crux of the problem is that co parenting with a narcissist doesn’t work any better than marriage with a narcissist does.

But there is…

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When Co Parenting Is Impossible

No child is doomed when co parenting is impossible after divorce.

Coparenting isn’t always the best choice for raising happy, healthy kids after divorce.

As idyllic as many divorce professionals make coparenting sound for parents who don’t live together, sometimes it’s just impossible to do.

Some reasons co parenting is impossible include:

  • A parent is actively abusing alcohol, drugs or another substance
  • A parent is incarcerated
  • A parent is violent or has threatened violence against an adult, child, pet or property
  • One parent has active restraining orders against the other parent
  • A parent has an appropriate sexual behavior or other acting out behavior
  • A parent neglects or has abandoned their child (children)
  • A parent has a history of frequent, unexpected moves or plans to move out of the area
  • A parent is actively alienating their child/children from the other parent
  • There’s simply too much friction between the parents to communicate at the level necessary for coparenting.

But just because you can’t enter into a coparenting relationship with your child or children’s other parent, that doesn’t mean that your divorce will destroy your children. What’s most important for your children to adjust well to your divorce is that you adjust well to it because your emotions are contagious.

When coparenting is impossible, you do have other options. You…

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11 Halloween Ideas For Celebrating With Your Kids Post-Divorce

Halloween ideas like carving jack-o-lanterns are great for celebrating with your kids post-divorce.

Don’t let not having your kids on the 31st prevent you from celebrating Halloween with them!

Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday season. From October 31st on, the parties, shopping, anticipation and, if you’re recently divorced, dread begin.

Why dread? Because now it’s sinking in that being with your children for all the holidays is a thing of the past. You’ll be sharing your kids with their other parent. And that means you’ll be A.L.O.N.E. for at least some holidays every year.

Yup, alone for the holidays.

After you let that sink in for a moment, it’s time to get into action and start planning how you can still celebrate each of the holidays with your children even if you don’t have them on the official holiday day.

And the best place to start is at the beginning of the holiday season – Halloween.

To get you started with your planning, here are 11 Halloween ideas that you can use as is or as the jumping off point for your own amazing way to still have bunches of Halloween fun with your kids.

  1. Have a Halloween party for your kids.Make sure it’s a costume party. And for extra fun include a…

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Who Does Co-Parenting Benefit?

Who does co-parenting benefit? The kids, but there are others.

Co-parenting is not just about the kids.

Co-parenting is a term that most people don’t hear until they’re separating or divorcing. But the truth is that co-parenting is the ideal way to parent regardless of marital status. (Although, ideal doesn’t mean it will work best for you and your situation.) That’s because parents who raise their children this way agree on parenting decisions and choose to put their kids’ needs first.

At first blush, this definition of co-parenting makes it seem like the kids are the only beneficiaries. And there are definitely a lot of benefits for children whose parents co-parent. Among them are:

  • Increased sense of security and self-worth. Kids who are co-parented know they can rely on both Mom and Dad to have their best interests at heart and to be consistent in their parenting decisions. This increased sense of security also translates to the children feeling loved and important.
  • Decreased stress, anxiety and guilt at each of their homes. When kids know that their parents are working together to raise them, they don’t have to worry about Dad or Mom. They are free to simply be kids.
  • Decreased stress and anxiety outside of the home.When children can trust their parents…

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How To Co-Parent With The Enemy

Your kids are worth you knowing how to co-parent with your ex.

You can’t co-parent if you’re still waging war. Your kids deserve much better from you.

Some divorces are easy. Unfortunately, most aren’t. Most divorces are really, really hard to get through. And the worst ones? Those are the ones where the divorce became a war and the former spouses still view each other as the enemy because they know in their guts that the divorce was just one battle.

And after the divorce is final, the kids (and their affection) become the next battle. One of the former spouses will win and the other will lose. But the problem is the kids will lose too.

If you see your ex as the enemy, it can seem nearly impossible to co-parent with them yet somehow that’s exactly what you need to do: figure out how to co-parent with the enemy.

Sure, you’ve read all kinds of how to co-parent articles and books, but few if any help because they’re either too superficial or they assume you and your ex had this easy-peasy divorce where you’re still best friends. How unhelpful is that?!

So where do you need to start on your journey of learning how to co-parent with the enemy?

Right here.

You must decide that you’ll put…

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