There are definite benefits to knowing what lies ahead.
Divorce is one of the most distressing events you can every experience. Divorce causes pain of such intensity that it’s common to wonder if you can survive it. It’s from this abyss of hurt that you’ll start wondering how to make the aching anguish stop. And you’ll become cautiously curious about whether there are steps to healing after divorce.
And your curiosity about recovering from the end of your marriage is a very, very good thing.
Wanting to know the steps to healing after divorce is a sign of budding courage. It means you’re ready to begin your work to heal your heart instead of remaining mired in the throes of blame and victimhood.
It’s from this place of tentative resolution that knowing the steps to healing after divorce will give you the most benefit.
Benefit 1: Less Anxiety & Stress
Being afraid of the unknown is normal. Having to face the unknown when you’re struggling with the gut-wrenching grief of divorce is downright terrifying.
By knowing what to expect as you put in the effort to heal your heart, you’ll bring clarity to what you’re facing and what still lies ahead of you. And this will start to make your unknown path forward known.
When you can start to put your recovery progress into perspective by knowing the steps to healing after divorce, your anxiety and stress will begin to decrease. You’ll know that you’re on the path to get through this terrible experience. You’ll also know that you can get over it just like everyone else who has ever gotten over the end of their marriage.
Benefit 2: Guidelines To Follow
Grief is unique to each person and to the specific loss being grieved. You may have experienced loss and grief before, but the grief you experience when you divorce will be different. (And even if you’ve divorced before the grief you feel now is different.)
It’s because grief’s unique nature that going through it can feel so isolating and perplexing. However, when you know the steps to getting over your divorce, you’ll find guidelines for healing.
The guidelines will help you better evaluate what you’re doing and know if you’re helping yourself or prolonging your pain. Being able to make these evaluations will help you heal more quickly.
Benefit 3: Know When To Ask For Help
Once you know the steps to healing after divorce, you’ll be able to determine whether you’re making the progress you want. If you find that you’re struggling more than you want, you’ll know when it’s time for you to ask for help.
Asking for help could be as simple as asking a friend for a hug. Or it could mean finding a professional to help you move through whatever step or steps you’re struggling with.
It’s by knowing when to ask for help that you’ll continue along your healing journey instead of getting stuck or delaying your progress.
Reaching the point where you’re courageously curious about the steps to healing after divorce is a milestone in putting the end of your marriage behind you. It signals that now you’re ready to begin bravely creating a new life for yourself instead of remaining a victim of your divorce. It also signals that now you’ll start healing more quickly.
I’m Dr. Karen Finn, a divorce and life coach. I help people just like you heal from divorce. You can join my newsletter list for free weekly advice. If you’re interested in taking the first step toward working with me, you can schedule an introductory private coaching session.