November 10, 2016
Negative thoughts are a normal part of divorce, but you don’t have to suffer with them indefinitely.
Even in the best of times we all have negative thoughts. But when you get divorced the negative thoughts take over. You become trapped in a world of fears. You’re constantly asking yourself, “What if this happens?” And, of course, this is something really, really bad.
The nightmare of negativity and pessimism is constant. You’re bombarded by terrifying thoughts whether you’re awake or asleep and dreaming (that is if you’re lucky enough to get some sleep).
What makes the pessimism so prevalent now when you’re trying to find the strength to heal and move on with your life?
The truth is that all of these negative thoughts are fueled by depression and anxiety. And it probably comes as no surprise to you that divorce triggers depression and anxiety for a lot of people.
The problem is that no matter how well you understand why your mind races after one bit of negativity and fear mongering after another, the simple understanding will never, ever make the thoughts stop. That’s because anxiety changes your brain. It impacts the way you think in such a way that the more you think negative thoughts, the more…
Read more: Why You’re Having Negative Thoughts Post-Divorce And How To Stop Them
September 22, 2016
You never know what people will say, but you don’t have to let their words destroy you.
You’d like to believe that people would be kind and compassionate to you when you’re getting divorced. After all it is one of the most stressful things you can go through.
And sometimes you’re lucky because people are kind and compassionate. But there are always those people who say the most awful things.
Here are just a few of the horrible comments my clients have reported they’ve been told:
“Just get over your divorce already!” a helping professional, a friend, and a family member
“I knew he was still cheating on you when you reconciled, but I didn’t want to tell you since you were trying to make it work.” a friend
“Why do you care if he’s seeing someone else? You left him.” a friend and a family member
“I don’t know why you married her in the first place. I never liked her.” a parent
“Oh my GOD! You’ll NEVER make it on your own with those kids. You never should have had them.” a friend
What’s most painful about this horrible shit that people say is who’s saying it. It’s…
Read more: How To Deal With The SH*T People Say When You're Getting Divorced