- October 18, 2016
These eight tips are the perfect guides for healing after divorce.
Around the world, hundreds of thousands of people divorce each year. Some of these divorcees are able to heal and move forward with their lives. And some of these people become bitter and remain miserable for years and years if not the rest of their lives.
If you’re in the process of getting over your divorce, you’re probably wondering what’s the difference between these two groups of people because you want to do everything in your power to make sure you’re not part of the latter group.
The difference between these two groups comes down to whether or not they’re able to follow these 8 key pieces of advice for healing after divorce:
- Be Gentle With Yourself.Getting divorced is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can have. It’s exhausting emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. So resist the temptation to put too much pressure on yourself to get things done despite the seemingly never-ending list of things you’ve got to get done. The truth is that if you don’t have the energy or mental capacity to accomplish your tasks, you’ll only be making a bigger mess of things. So take the time you need to…
Read more: The Divorce Advice You Need For Healing After Divorce
- September 22, 2016
You never know what people will say, but you don’t have to let their words destroy you.
You’d like to believe that people would be kind and compassionate to you when you’re getting divorced. After all it is one of the most stressful things you can go through.
And sometimes you’re lucky because people are kind and compassionate. But there are always those people who say the most awful things.
Here are just a few of the horrible comments my clients have reported they’ve been told:
“Just get over your divorce already!” a helping professional, a friend, and a family member
“I knew he was still cheating on you when you reconciled, but I didn’t want to tell you since you were trying to make it work.” a friend
“Why do you care if he’s seeing someone else? You left him.” a friend and a family member
“I don’t know why you married her in the first place. I never liked her.” a parent
“Oh my GOD! You’ll NEVER make it on your own with those kids. You never should have had them.” a friend
What’s most painful about this horrible shit that people say is who’s saying it. It’s…
Read more: How To Deal With The SH*T People Say When You're Getting Divorced
- August 29, 2016
By using these three keys one after the other, you’ll find happiness again.
The pain of divorce is unrelenting. And understandably so because your world has crumbled to dust.
The one person who promised they’d love you forever is gone and replaced by a stranger who only looks like your ex. The home you shared together is either horribly empty or gone. And seeing your children wake up every morning and putting them to bed every night is also gone.
Every single one of the losses – both big and small – pulls at your soul so hard that it’s difficult to think, breathe or, at times, simply exist.
Yet as painful as healing after divorce is, happiness is still available to you. You probably won’t feel joyous – at least not at first, but you can experience happiness even in the midst of the agony.
All it takes is making small changes in a particular order and soon you’ll stop the pain for brief moments. And the more you put these changes into practice, the more happiness you’ll feel.
There are three keys to how to be happy as you’re healing after divorce.
The first key is all about laying the groundwork for greater…
Read more: How To Be Happy As You’re Healing After Divorce
- September 19, 2016
Once you know these reasons, you won’t stay stuck for long while dealing with your divorce.
Nobody wants to admit that they get stuck along the way in dealing with their divorce it would be like admitting to yet another shortcoming.
“My marriage failed and I can’t get over it!” Making a statement like that for many people would be tantamount to taking out an ad on Facebook saying “I’m a loser.”
But the truth is that everyone gets stuck somewhere along the way dealing with divorce.
Getting stuck at least once is normal because learning how to get over divorce isn’t a required course before getting married. Besides that, it doesn’t matter how many books you’ve read, how many times you’ve talked it over with your divorced friends, or even how many celebrity divorces you’ve followed, you’re going to get stuck. (Yes, this is true even if you’ve been divorced before because every divorce is unique.) You don’t know what it will take for you to get over your divorce until you’re done dealing with it.
However, in all my years working with people dealing with divorce and going through my own divorce I’ve found the most common reasons people get stuck.…
Read more: 7 Reasons People Get Stuck While Dealing With Divorce
- August 2, 2016
This exercise will jump start your divorce recovery.
One of the most difficult parts of getting over your divorce is letting go.
Letting go of the past, letting go of the hurt and confusion, along with letting go of the dreams and plans you had for the future together seem to require Herculean efforts. And yet you know it’s necessary to let it all go if you’re ever going to move on from your divorce.
Even though your marriage ended, I’ll bet that not all of your memories of being together are bad. You’ve got plenty of good ones that are worth holding on to, but not if remembering them causes you to question again and again and again why your ex decided to end your marriage. All that does is keeps you stuck.
And this is where the hurt and confusion comes from. How could your ex decide that divorce was the answer? How could they throw away everything you had together? Learning to find your own answers to these questions is another part of what you need for divorce recovery.
And if the pain of the past and present weren’t enough, there’s the pain of all the future dreams and plans that just won’t…
Read more: Letting Go Is The First Step Of Divorce Recovery