- December 21, 2015
By knowing this about your ex, you'll be able to make it through your divorce more calmly.
An interesting thing happened during one of the divorce recovery workshops I lead. One of the male participants brought up the book His Needs Her Needs by Willard F. Harley, Jr. This participant shared the lists of "his needs" and "her needs" with the others in the class. After the briefest of pauses, the room erupted in both indignation and conversation that evening.
As the leader, it was an ideal opportunity to share some divorce advice that everyone can use. And that's exactly what I'll share with you now.
Although it's obvious, it bears repeating. Men and women are wired differently. We see the world differently. We interact with the world differently. And its these differences that can make for amazing relationships, amazingly disastrous divorces and everything in between.
In the simplest terms, men are driven to do and achieve. They want to be acknowledged for their triumphs and supported in ways that allow them to do and achieve more. This often translates to wanting to share their doing and achieving with their significant other.
In the simplest terms, women are driven to need and create safety. They want…