- January 6, 2016
Waiting for someone to fix me didn't work until I realized I was the someone I was waiting for.
I didn't really start my divorce recovery until about a year after my divorce was final. It took that long before I stopped waiting for someone to show me the way.
I read lots of books, worked with a therapist (who thankfully was divorced and understood divorce recovery, joined a divorce support group, and talked with family and friends. Each of these helped, but I kept thinking that somehow one of these would fix me - that something or someone else could make me better.
But I was wrong - really wrong. All anything or anyone outside of me could provide were clues, hints, intimations - nothing so bold as "This is EXACTLY what you, Karen Finn, need to do to feel better, normal and happy again."
The hard truth was that I had to do the thinking, the planning, the learning, the experimenting and the work. I had to feel the pain and go through it. I couldn't heal by proxy.
It was all up to me because it was my life. No matter how much anyone loved and cared for me, they couldn't…