- August 19, 2015
Sometimes all it takes is a small shift in perspective to help you hurt a little less.
When your marriage ends and you start working toward getting divorced, it's not like there's some switch you can flip to stop feeling married or even to unlove your spouse. It's more of a process. And all processes take time to complete. That's why it is so infuriating, humiliating and painful if your spouse starts dating before you're legally divorced, much less before you feel unmarried.
You do have another option. You can learn to put some distance between what they're doing and you. It all starts with changing your thoughts (which, believe it or not, will give you the space you need to allow your feelings to change).
To give you an assist with changing your thoughts, here are some facts for you to consider:
- It's all about them - Yup, their behavior is all about them. It's a reflection of how they see the world, who they want to be and what they want to experience.
As painful as it is to make the shift from thinking about you and your spouse as a couple to being individuals, it's part of moving on from the end of your…
Read more: Hurt Because Your Spouse Is Dating During Divorce?
- August 14, 2015
Pope Francis' statement is too late for me, but I'm OK with that now.
In August 2002, my divorce was final. When the judge signed the decree my immediate reaction was happiness. I thought I was free! I thought I would be happy (finally) because of a little ink on a piece of paper. Oh, the silly things I used to believe...
It didn't take long before I started to feel suffocated by guilt. I was sure that God was going to punish me (by death) for getting divorced AND that I deserved it.
A bit irrational? Maybe. But, seriously, how many people make it through divorce without at least one irrational thought?
For this particular thought though, I had help in coming up with it. You see I was raised pseudo-Catholic.
My parents were both raised Catholic and went to parochial schools. However, outside of the baptisms for my younger siblings and attending funerals, I don't remember us attending church as a family. Despite this, Catholic-ish teachings certainly made it into my psyche and one of those teachings was that if you got divorced, you committed a serious sin. So serious a sin that as a result you weren't allowed to be a part…
Read more: Thank You, Pope Francis