How To Get Over An Unexpected Divorce

Details

September 1, 2018

Tips for getting over the practical and emotional challenges of an unexpected divorce.

No one walks down the aisle wishing there were a rewind button. And no one says “I do” while secretly worrying about how to get over an unexpected divorce in the future.

It can seem absurd, if not surreal, to look at your life in review from the middle of a divorce. How did you go from the assurance of a happy life to the gut punch of having it ripped away?

It was only yesterday that the diamond ring was dangled. Now you’ve been served with divorce papers, leaving you to figure out how to get over an unexpected divorce.

It’s bad enough to be forced into a divorce you don’t want. But there is an extra sting, a piercing shock, when you didn’t see it coming. Wham! You’re thinking it’s time to add to the family or renew your vows, and your spouse has one foot and a suitcase out the door.

No matter how you got here or what role you played in the decision, the process of divorce isn’t easy. You will need the best of yourself in the game — alert, prepared, well-advised.

The question of how…

Read more: How To Get Over An Unexpected Divorce

How To Get Over An Unfair Divorce

Details

June 3, 2018

When you stop feeling victimized and start feeling happy, you’ll be able to move on with your life.

No matter how you look at it, all divorces are unfair.

Is it fair that you’ve devoted x number of years to trying to make your marriage work only to wind up divorced? No.

Is it fair that you’re now paying child support instead of living with your children? Absolutely not.

Is it fair that s/he has already moved on with their life and you’re still in so much pain? No way in H#LL!

There’s nothing fair about divorce. But there’s a problem living with nearly constant thoughts of how unfair your divorce is. You will remain bitter, resentful and unhappy.

And when you remain in these emotions, you’ll be nearly unrecognizable to yourself and those you love. You won’t be the same fun, positive, energetic person you were before all of this happened.

Just in case you’re wondering if how you’re dealing with the unfairness of your divorce is really all that bad, here are some of the tell-tale signs that you’re focusing too much on the unfairness:

• Complaining to anyone who will listen about how unjust things are.
• Talking about your ex or the court or…

Read more: How To Get Over An Unfair Divorce

How To Get Over An Unwanted Divorce

Details

August 6, 2018

Nine realistic and practical tips to help you with your journey of healing from an unwanted divorce.

There is a saying in psychology that “All relationships end. Someone either leaves or dies.”

If you are wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce, this may be small, if any, consolation. Especially if you have been deeply invested in the relationship, it may actually sound dismissive.

In a general comparative sense, divorce is similar to death. Both are final losses, whether of people, dreams or both.

If you have been left holding the grenade of an unwanted divorce, you probably have some “yeah, but’s” to add to that argument.

“Yeah, but death doesn’t mean you still have to see the other person.”

 “Yeah, but death isn’t done ‘to’ you.”

“Yeah, but death doesn’t leave you feeling unlovable.”

Being left to figure out how to get over an unwanted divorce can also leave you feeling shamed, isolated and rejected. Your emotions will run the gamut of anger, guilt and a willingness to do anything to save your marriage.

What you may not expect is the difference in the empathy and support received in the case of death versus an unwanted divorce.

While you…

Read more: How To Get Over An Unwanted Divorce

5 Incredible Factors You Must Consider When You Divorce Later in Life

Details

September 28, 2017

Divorce is no walk in the park at any age. But, when you are older, it can be particularly painful. To help you with this tough transition, here are a few important tips.

Meeting New People

Friendships outside of your marriage may be affected by your divorce. It can force friends to choose sides and leave you feeling defensive and lonely. Do not let yourself be isolated. Potential social interaction outlets might include volunteer activities, hitting the campaign trail for your favorite cause or candidate, or going to community events. Yet, you should not immediately jump into a new relationship. This is especially true if the divorce is not final.

Your Kids Will Still Be a Factor

Visitation orders and child support are not part of the discussion in most gray divorces. But, the divorce proceedings may still involve adult children. It is not unusual for adult children to rely on their parents for financial support. Unless the child is in school or has a disability, support for adult children is not generally something written into a divorce agreement. However, your sons or daughters are likely to react emotionally to your divorce.

You Will Likely Lose Half of Your Retirement Money

Retirement funds and other assets are commonly…

Read more: 5 Incredible Factors You Must Consider When You Divorce Later in Life