- October 28, 2012
Here's how to stop letting your imagination make things seem so much worse than they really are.
Since it’s the season for scary stuff, I thought I’d tell you a couple of horror stories I told myself when I was getting divorced. The first story is the everyday story. The second is the special event story.
I’ll start with the everyday story. I started telling myself various versions of this story shortly after my ex-husband and I separated in March of 2002.
My fears were LARGE. They invaded almost every facet of my life. I was afraid of living alone. I was afraid of not being able to support myself. I was afraid that I’d get sick from eating food that had gone bad. I was afraid of getting fat. I was afraid of getting old. I was afraid of losing my job.
I’m guessing you get the picture. It’s what I used to do with each of these fears that made up the everyday story.
Here’s one version of the story. I’m afraid of losing my job. Then I’d tell myself that if I lost my job, then I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay my bills. If I wasn’t able to pay…
Read more: Stop Scaring Yourself!
- May 17, 2012
We all have hundreds of thousands of thoughts every day. Time to get up. I’m hungry. Who’s calling? Why haven’t they sent that email yet? I have so much to do. Do I look fat? How am I going to solve this problem? Why isn’t my attorney returning my call? If s/he would just reconsider, I know we could work it out. How could I be so stupid? Could this be cancer?
Some of our thoughts are helpful, some are fanciful, some are neutral, and some are just plain hurtful or scary. Every thought we have contributes to how we perceive ourselves, our situation and those around us. They can spur us into action or keep us from taking action. Our thoughts are what make our lives uniquely ours. That’s why two people can experience the same event and come away from it telling two entirely different stories about the event.
Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the bricklayers.
There were three bricklayers working side-by-side. A passerby stops to ask the first bricklayer, “What are you doing?” The first bricklayer rolls his eyes and responds, “Obviously, I’m laying bricks.” Not satisfied with the answer, the passerby stops by the second bricklayer and asks, “What are…
Read more: Your Thoughts Matter!