Divorce Blog

The Realities Of Life After Divorce From A Narcissist

Woman wearing pink blouse looking scared by the realities of life after divorce from a narcissist.

Life won’t necessarily be easy, but it can be better.

There was a time when even Aristotle believed that Earth was the center of the solar system. According to this geocentric model, the bright planetary bodies all revolved around us earthlings. The narcissist has a similar take on his or her position in the universe. And anyone who is or has been married to one knows this firsthand. Those who couldn’t last “‘til death do us part” know that even life after divorce from a narcissist is no picnic.

Narcissists, quite frankly, are exhausting. You can never give enough, be enough, do enough, flatter enough to satisfy their inflated sense of self. They need the world to revolve around them, to see them as the biggest, brightest star, and to praise them accordingly. 

It’s understandable, therefore, how narcissism can be problematic in a relationship dynamic that needs equality, collaboration, and empathy in order to thrive. If any one entity in a marriage has the right to be a narcissist, it’s the marriage itself, not the individuals. 

If you are trying to navigate life after divorce from a narcissist, you already know how defeating marriage to one can be. If you are in the throes of separation…

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How To Discover Your Keys To A Happy Life

Man wearing sunglasses and smiling because he’s found his keys to a happy life.

Try these seven things to find your keys to a happy life.

Most believe that happiness is just a feeling you sometimes stumble upon – if you’re one of the lucky ones. But what if it were possible to actually unlock it and have it readily available to you by using specific keys to a happy life?

It turns out there are very specific things you can do to experience more happiness in your life. But before getting into the keys to a happy life, let’s explore what happiness truly is and why it’s so important.

What is happiness?

Happiness is often thought of as any positive emotion. Words that people will often use to describe being happy include bliss, joy, gratitude, contentment, delight and enjoyment.

Yet these terms aren’t specific enough for happiness researchers because they want something they can measure. Researchers tend to define happiness as “subjective well-being.” And this means that the more satisfied people describe themselves as being along with the amount of positive emotion they experience, the greater their subjective well-being and the greater their happiness.

What this points out is that happiness is about much more than a fleeting or temporary emotion. Happiness is about the experience of more positive…

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How To Handle Co-Parenting With An Ex Who Hates You

Couple near a tree arguing about how to handle co-parenting.

You can co-parent with minimal contact & still raise happy kids.

You would think that two adults could figure out how to handle co-parenting after divorcing. It sounds like a no-brainer, “mature” thing to expect -- that parents would naturally put their children above their own feelings.

But if life followed the ideal, couples would walk down the aisle once and for good, and co-parenting wouldn’t have to exist. 

We all know that being an adult doesn’t guarantee wisdom, discretion, or even maturity. And bringing children into the world doesn’t guarantee that parents know how to parent. (And it certainly doesn’t guarantee that they will know how to handle co-parenting after a divorce, especially when one parent hates the other.)

Once upon a time, children of divorce were awarded to their fathers because women couldn’t own property. (Yes, children were considered property.) Fast forward to the Industrial Revolution and on into the mid-20th century, and that all changed. 

Today’s adult children of divorce can easily expound on the custody arrangements of the mid- to late 1900’s. They normally lived with one parent (usually the mother) and saw the other parent only every other weekend. 

The concept of co-parenting is still relatively…

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How To Overcome Marital Infidelity & Move On With Your Life

Sad man sitting on a bench struggling with ideas of how to overcome marital infidelity.

You can move forward from the betrayal if you start with these 7 steps.

Who knew that one day you’d be searching for help on how to overcome marital infidelity? It’s not an experience anyone really expects will happen to them. After all, when we marry, we all believe that we’re different, that something as painful and heinous as betrayal on this level would never ever happen to us.

Yet, here you are, wondering if you can survive the horrendous pain of your spouse’s affair. And what does surviving even mean? Do you want to stay married? Do you want to leave? How can you even begin to think clearly enough to know what you want?

When it comes to knowing how to overcome marital infidelity and move on with your life, the truth is that you need to take things slowly – at least at first. Discovering your spouse has been unfaithful is traumatic. It shakes not only the foundations of your marriage and family, it shakes the foundation of your reality.

You begin to question what is real. And wonder if s/he ever loved you. Because you assume that the only way s/he could have betrayed you would be if s/he didn’t.

The…

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7 Signs Of Healing After Divorce (So You’ll Know You’re Getting Over It)

Man sitting on the floor wondering if he’ll ever see signs that he’s healing after divorce.

Yes, you can get over it.

Divorce isn’t a sign-and-done deal. Its aftermath can be emotionally eviscerating, leaving you to think you will never be whole again. (But you will be.) You may wonder if you will even recognize the signs of healing after divorce, given how badly you feel in the moment. (But you will.)

By the time two people get to the point of deciding to divorce, there is usually a lot of pain already under the bridge. Whether the marriage has been on slow dissolve or has suffered the blow of betrayal, divorce is the culminating loss of a great dream.

Even the most amicable divorce is an explosion of what was once at least somewhat predictable. You knew what you had, even if you didn’t have what you wanted. Your kids knew where “home” was. And your life was defined by the story you all wrote together.

But there is always a tipping point to mounting discord and disappointment, regardless of the cause. And reaching it can be shocking and surreal when you are left teetering on the precipice of an unsure future. Will there ever be healing after divorce? And will there be signsof healing after divorce to…

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