Divorce Blog

12 Tips For Coping With Grief After Divorce

Man coping with grief after divorce.

These practical tips will ease the struggle you face in coping with grief after divorce.

Coping with grief after divorce is not unlike coping with grief after death. Both death and divorce are “loss of life,” whether life in the physical realm or life as you know it.

In terms of coping with grief after divorce, it really matters very little who initiated the split. Even the reasons for the split have little bearing on the journey through grief.

Sure, there are situations and violations that will naturally cause greater pain and more intense feelings than others. But the stepping stones of grief will be the same, as will the recommendations for coping with grief after divorce.

First and foremost, acknowledge that there is going to be a grieving process. By giving yourself permission to experience grief — with all its ins and outs, ups and downs, messiness and unpredictability — you can come through with a new and hopeful lease on life.

So get ready to feel, and trust that the feelings themselves carry sage insight and benevolent gifts for your future. You are entitled to your feelings — all of them — just as you are entitled to the blessings stored in them.…

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What Is Healthy Co-Parenting?

These kids of divorce don’t worry about what is healthy co-parenting, but their parents should.

Here are 12 of the most important characteristics of healthy co-parenting.

Parenting children is challenging. Co-parenting after divorce can be especially challenging...and anything but healthy.

So what is healthy co-parenting? And how can two people who couldn’t get along well enough to stay married be expected to co-parent like adults?

The norm for child custody used to be that one parent was the custodial guardian and the other parent had limited visitation. This might be every other weekend with extra time during vacations from school, or a similar but limited arrangement.

Today, however, it is common for parents to share custody of the children after divorce. The giant dry-erase board in the kitchen will be filled in according to “Mom’s week,” “Dad’s week” and a slew of co-mingling events defined by the kids’ active lives.

Co-parenting is greatly influenced by the reciprocal interactions of each parent. In other words, if you as the parents are inconsistent and ununified in your parenting, your children will be the ones to suffer.

When it comes to communication, if you don’t know or practice what is healthy, co-parenting will be unnecessarily difficult for everyone involved. It is a commitment that requires empathy, patience, honesty and open communication.

More than…

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If You’re Wondering, “Can I Survive Infidelity?” Here’s Your Answer

Woman struggling with the painful question, “Can I survive infidelity?”

Surviving infidelity requires that you make it though the emotional pain and rebuild trust.

The dagger of infidelity cuts deeply and scars in layers. It shreds your trust, hopes and dreams. It changes everything.

“Can I survive infidelity?” you may ask. If you are on the receiving end of your partner’s unfaithfulness, you probably feel as if you have been dealt a death blow. In one careless moment he or she has wiped out your marriage and ruined your life...forever.

If you are the unfaithful partner, you may be feeling an equal gravity, but for different reasons. “Can I survive infidelity?” may be a question more akin to “What have I done? And how do I get back what may be lost forever?”

Infidelity, without question, comes with heavy consequences. It can hit your life with the unexpected force of a tornado, and render equally disastrous effects.

A tornado doesn’t survey its target area before wiping it out. It doesn’t seek out victims based on income, home size or marital bliss. And, while infidelity certainly isn’t a random act of nature, it is equally non-partisan in its demographics.

Think infidelity is limited to unhappy marriages? Convinced you can see it coming for some…

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How To Get Over An Unwanted Divorce

Sad woman wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce.

Nine realistic and practical tips to help you with your journey of healing from an unwanted divorce.

There is a saying in psychology that “All relationships end. Someone either leaves or dies.”

If you are wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce, this may be small, if any, consolation. Especially if you have been deeply invested in the relationship, it may actually sound dismissive.

In a general comparative sense, divorce is similar to death. Both are final losses, whether of people, dreams or both.

If you have been left holding the grenade of an unwanted divorce, you probably have some “yeah, but’s” to add to that argument.

“Yeah, but death doesn’t mean you still have to see the other person.”

 “Yeah, but death isn’t done ‘to’ you.”

“Yeah, but death doesn’t leave you feeling unlovable.”

Being left to figure out how to get over an unwanted divorce can also leave you feeling shamed, isolated and rejected. Your emotions will run the gamut of anger, guilt and a willingness to do anything to save your marriage.

What you may not expect is the difference in the empathy and support received in the case of death versus an unwanted divorce.

While you…

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Co-Parenting: What Not To Do

When co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.

Knowing these co-parenting what-not-to-do’s will help you be a better parent post-divorce.

Co-parenting after divorce is tough. But did you know you can make it even harder for yourself, your ex and your kids?

That’s why when it comes to co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. There is plenty of online advice for what you should do when co-parenting, but it rarely goes into detail about what not to do.

And this lack of clarity about the co-parenting what-not-to-do’s is often confusing for those parents who are trying their best to co-parent yet somehow, they just can’t seem to make it work as well as they’d like.

The lack of clarity can cause parents to believe that their behavior is appropriate when in reality it isn’t.

Regardless of where you fall, knowing what not to do when it comes to co-parenting (and then not doing it) will make you a better parent.

The co-parenting what-not-to-do’s fall into 8 different categories:

  1. Communication And Collaboration

    You probably already know that the foundation for successful co-parenting is communication and collaboration with your children’s other parent. Yet this can be difficult to achieve when your divorce still feels fresh.

    Here is…

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