March 20, 2017
Knowing these 3 phases of divorce recovery will help you understand exactly how long it will take.
The pain and confusion of divorce is so intense that at times you wonder if you’ve lost your mind. At other times, you worry that this agony is just how life will be from now on.
In less tortured moments, you know you’re still sane and that life will get better. But then you wonder when because you aren’t sure how much more of the misery you can take.
A quick Google will show you there are plenty of people who will willingly tell you exactly how long it will take you to get over your divorce. What you need to know is that they’re ALL WRONG.
These authorities are all wrong because they base their guidance on averages, observation, personal experience and personal bias. There’s no way any of that will be able to predict exactly how long it will take YOU to get over your divorce.
Divorce recovery is a process. You’ll get through it on a timeline that’s unique to you – not according to someone else’s.
So instead of looking for an exact time when you’ll be over your divorce, it makes more sense to look…
Read more: How Long Will It Take To Get Over Your Divorce?
March 20, 2017
Because it takes more than booze and ice cream to truly heal.
It doesn’t matter if this is the first time or the hundredth time – break ups suck.
Logically, you know you’d never want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you.
But logic isn’t where you go when you get the news that it’s over.
It’s just too shocking! Unbelievable!
How could they dump you after all you’ve done for them? Don’t they realize how much you love them?
In a short span of time you’ve already experienced the first two steps of dealing with grief after a break up - shock and anger.
But then something happens – you want to understand why it ended.
You quickly jump to the conclusion it ended because of you. You start thinking that maybe you aren’t good enough, or that you’re unlovable, or that there’s something else fundamentally WRONG with you. It’s the only thing that makes sense – somehow YOU must have screwed up for this amazing person to call it quits.
You start obsessing and over-analyzing your potential faults.
Maybe you ask your ex to tell you what you did to make them dump you so you can change and get the relationship…
Read more: The 5 Things You HAVE To Do To FINALLY Get Over Your Break Up
March 16, 2017
Finally learning how to deal with your anger in a healthy way is an unexpected benefit of divorce.
Almost everyone who goes through divorce gets angry about it.
Your anger may only register as a sense of frustration, or it may be as overwhelming as rage, or something in between these two extremes. But that doesn’t mean that’s how it will feel tomorrow or even in the next moment.
That’s just how healing from divorce is – one unpredictable emotion after another.
Anger is a normal part of any grieving process and needs constructive expression if you’re going to avoid becoming bitter or enraged because of your divorce.
So, dealing with anger due to grief is definitely a skill you need to learn to get over your divorce.
However, before you can really deal with your anger you need to jettison the baggage about it that you’re carrying around. (Yes, you, like everyone else learned stuff that’s not all that helpful about anger.)
Maybe you believe that anger is bad and shouldn’t be expressed. So anytime you feel the slightest twinge of anger you suppress it. The problem with doing this is that the anger will fester and cause you both physical and psychological problems.
Read more: 5 Tips For Dealing With Anger Due To Grief About Divorce
March 13, 2017
It’s pretty scary what the stress of a bad marriage can do to you.
You got married because you fell in love and had dreams of living happily ever after. But somewhere along the way marital bliss turned to marital blah or worse.
You might even occasionally toy with the idea of calling it quits or half-heartedly attempt to work on your marriage. Instead of making any significant changes, what you end up doing is staying. You stick it out because the thought of doing anything different is just too big to deal with.
It might seem like this is the path of least resistance, but did you know the impact of your unhappy marriage is greater – a lot greater – than just feeling meh about your spouse? The stress of a bad marriage affects you physically, mentally and emotionally.
How does an unhappy marriage affect you physically?
- Weakens your immune system (source)
- Wounds are slower to heal (source)
- Increases you blood pressure (source)
- Increases your cholesterol (source)
- Makes you gain weight (source)
- Puts you at an increased risk for heart disease, cancer, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and arterial calcification (source)
- Causes digestive disorders (source)
- Causes hormone imbalance (source)
- Causes poor sleep (source)
- Shrinks your brain…
Read more: How Does An Unhappy Marriage Affect You?
March 9, 2017
Having an affair is one of the worst decisions you can make for yourself – and your family.
You’ve been unhappy in your marriage for a while now. It seems that things will never change – that your spouse will continue ignoring your needs.
You’re tired of feeling stuck, ignored and unloved in your marriage. So when someone else shows you the attention you’ve been craving you’re naturally drawn to them.
But before you continue down the slippery slope you’re precariously perched upon, pause and examine why having an affair is a bad idea.
Affairs hurt everyone – not just your spouse. They hurt you, your lover, their spouse, your children, their children, your family, their family, your friends and their friends. That’s a lot of people.
And before you start wondering too much about what an affair is, know that anytime you feel the need to keep a relationship secret from your spouse – regardless of whether you’re having sex with this other person or not – you’re having an affair.
Just what makes infidelity so bad?
These are the biggest reasons why an affair is a bad idea:
- You’re choosing to live in fear of changing your marriage.
If everything was great in your marriage,…
Read more: 11 Reasons Why An Affair Is A Bad Idea