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Divorce Blog

5 Reasons Staying Together For The Kids Is The WORST Idea Ever

Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?

Deciding if divorce is the best solution to the troubles you’re facing in your marriage is never easy.

In fact, it’s gut wrenching.

You’ve invested years in building a life together and the thought of starting over really isn’t appealing. It’s frightening!

But you’re not happy. You know you deserve happiness and so does your spouse.

And your kids deserve it too … especially your kids.

That’s the biggest problem: Your kids deserve happiness.

And right now, your belief is that they will never be happy if you get divorced.

Many couples decide that they can’t divorce because of their children. They believe that their kids deserve to grow up in an intact family, and that anything less will destroy them.

These couples choose to remain mired in their miserable marriages, for the sake of the kids.

Unfortunately, choosing martyrdom for the kids is a really bad decision.

If you choose to stick things out just for your kids, you can expect to face a number of problems.

Here are five reasons to reconsider staying together for the kids:

  1. Your kids will learn that marriage is about separateness, not togetherness.

    By staying together for their sake, you’ll be teaching them…

Read more: 5 Reasons Staying Together For The Kids Is The WORST Idea Ever

The 5 Best Tips For Surviving Infidelity Triggers

Surviving infidelity triggers is something this woman triumphed over using the best tips.

Despite the trauma, you can beat the triggers of betrayal.

Discovering that your spouse has had or is having an affair is one of the cruelest betrayals you can ever suffer.

The person you chose to trust implicitly threw your trust away as if it meant nothing to them – as if you meant nothing to them.

Whether you decide to work on repairing your marriage or to divorce, you must figure out how to heal.

Surviving infidelity isn’t easy.

Probably one of the most difficult parts is the unexpected way seemingly innocuous situations can catapult you into chaos because something about it triggers you.

In these moments, the emotions and memories of your spouse’s infidelity come flooding back and everything else fades into the background. You’re hardly aware of how you’re behaving because your sole goal is to stop the pain and fear and to simply survive.

And living your life in fear of being triggered this is no way to live your life long-term. You need to have a way for dealing with the triggers that allows you to heal and move forward.

Here are the five best tips for surviving infidelity triggers:

  1. Accept that triggers are normal.

    Until you’ve completely come to terms with…

Read more: The 5 Best Tips For Surviving Infidelity Triggers

How Couples Survive Infidelity

How couples survive infidelity isn’t a simple thing, but it is possible.

If you and your spouse possess these 6 characteristics, you've got a good shot at making it.

Most people assume that if a spouse cheats then their marriage is doomed. And these people are right – some of the time divorce is the answer.

The surprising truth is that marriages can bounce back from an affair (or affairs) and become stronger than ever.

However, how couples survive infidelity and strengthen their marriages is not by following a simple set of instructions.

The couples who make it fight hard for their marriages. They’re willing to fight together as a team more often than as adversaries. They love each other and are totally committed to doing what it takes.

If cheating has shaken your marriage, you’re better off doing some serious soul-searching separately and together rather than making a knee-jerk decision about your marriage.

To help you to figure out if you’re one of the couples who can survive infidelity, you’ll want to evaluate whether you and your spouse each have (or are committed to developing) the following 6 qualities and abilities:

  1. You must be willing to work really, really hard for what you want.

    The effort needed for a couple to survive infidelity can’t be underestimated. The…

Read more: How Couples Survive Infidelity

How To Survive Infidelity And Restore Your Relationship

A couple who know the secret of how to survive infidelity and restore your relationship.

It doesn’t matter which side of the infidelity you were on, you’ve got to work to fix things.

One of you cheated…and one of you was betrayed.

Surviving infidelity isn’t an easy thing because it strikes to the core of what every relationship needs – trust.

Yet, you’ve made it through the initial pain and guilt of the discovery. You’ve tearfully talked through the options and decided together that you want to make your relationship work.

You both know that the affair was a symptom of something else that wasn’t working and you’re committed to resolving things because what you have (or can have) together is worth saving, worth fixing, and worth working on yourself for.

Yes, both of you will need to work on yourselves to survive the infidelity and restore your relationship, but what you need to do will depend on your role.

If you are the one who strayed, your tasks revolve around completely ending the other relationship and loving your spouse. Specifically, your five high-level tasks are:

  1. Cut all contact with the other person.

    As long as the potential for temptation exists, your partner will never, ever be able to relax or trust you being around the other person. Without doubt, the…

Read more: How To Survive Infidelity And Restore Your Relationship

How To Survive Infidelity And Divorce

Man who is struggling with how to survive infidelity and divorce.

These three tips are exactly what you need so you’ll heal and survive the betrayal.

Finding out your spouse cheated (or is cheating) leaves you breathless with shock and starts your whole world spinning wildly as you try to make sense of things. And just as you start to catch your breath, your thoughts explode and you’re bombarded with a million questions.

 

How could they do this?

Doesn’t s/he love me?

Why wasn’t I enough?

What’s wrong with me?

And then, almost before you know what’s happening, … you’re getting divorced.

You struggle to make sense of who this person, who was your beloved and now is your opponent, is. How could they behave in such an abhorrent way? It’s as if you never really knew them.

Of course, you already lost your trust in them when you found out about their affair, but now you’re starting to mistrust yourself. Shouldn’t you have seen the signs? Can you tell the difference between someone telling you the truth and lying? Do you even know what’s real anymore? Are you capable of ever trusting someone again? Can you trust yourself?

Now you struggle daily with mistrusting just about everyone, but especially men, if your husband had…

Read more: How To Survive Infidelity And Divorce