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Divorce Blog

How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

Your old life is over. Here's how to start your new one.

When you find out your spouse has filed for divorce, it’s pretty normal to feel disbelief – like there must be some mistake.

There’s no way they would just throw in the towel like that … would they?

Once they confirm that they do want out, you’re overcome with despair.

You wonder if you’ll survive this completely unwanted destruction of your life.

And as reality begins to sink in, your fears start to rise up. In the midst of your despair, you’re overcome with dread because you begin imagining what your life (and your kids’ lives) will become.

All you can see is misery, destruction, and legal bills.

Some of your fears are true.

Divorce will destroy your life, but only the life that was – not the life that’s ahead of you.

And believe it or not, despite how terrifying they are, your fears are actually trying to help you survive your divorce and create a new life for yourself that will really work for you.

Despite the terror they induce, your fears are warnings.

They are the absolute worst-case scenario and alert you to a risk or threat you’re facing that…

Read more: How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

Woman smiling because she knows you'll get over your divorce.

Use these 3 tips for building your self-confidence and get over your divorce.

Failure. That’s what divorce is. It’s the failure of a marriage.

Divorce is NOT your personal failure. Yet that’s what almost everyone who gets divorced struggles with – the belief that they are now and forever more a failure of the worst kind because their marriage went bust.

Despite knowing the logical fact that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail, it’s almost impossible not to fall into the trap of believing that somehow you’re more responsible.

And to go along with the guilt about being a failure, you’re probably comparing yourself to all those other people you know who are still married. It’s like you’re piling on misery on top of misery with no way out from underneath the suffocating weight of failure.

What you’re experiencing is normal. However, “normal” doesn’t really help you emerge from the quagmire of self-loathing. So how do you stop beating yourself up? How can you ever believe that you’re not a failure (and that you are worth loving)? By building your self-confidence.

Maybe this answer sounds trivial to you or maybe it sounds impossible. Either way, it’s obvious you’re…

Read more: How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

How To Recover After Divorce

Woman contemplating the question: How To Recovery After Divorce?

These 19 tips will help you heal from your divorce so you can move on with your life.

Divorce knocks you down in just about every way imaginable. Along with losing your marriage, you lose your lifestyle, the goal of raising your children in an intact family, and all the other dreams you had for the future. Each loss feels like another blow that takes you lower and lower into the depths of divorce despair.

Although you know there are plenty of people who have made it through divorce, you wonder what they knew about how to recover after divorce that you don’t. And then you think maybe your divorce is so much more horrible than what others have gone through that what they did won’t work for you.

And so your torturous thoughts turn as you wrestle with worries about how to get over your divorce. The problem is that the more you worry about it, the harder it is for you to recover which throws your thoughts back to thinking that your divorce is just so much more horrible than anyone else’s.

It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you stuck.

But you can break out of it. You can stop the self-destructive thoughts.…

Read more: How To Recover After Divorce

What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

Child whose parents are each struggling with co parenting with a toxic ex.

These 6 tips will help you become a better co parent despite how poisonous your ex is.

People call their ex toxic for a lot of different reasons – from anger about the divorce, fear about their ex’s parenting abilities, abuse, narcissism, alienating the children, and addiction. This wide range of descriptions makes it really difficult to find reliable information about co parenting with a toxic ex.

This confusion, on top of the already unwanted and tumultuous emotions of divorce, is the last thing you need.

Although the tips below will help you co parent regardless of the poisonous nature of your ex, they will be most helpful if your toxic ex behaves poorly toward you (and, at times, your children). If your ex’s toxicity is due to something more severe, you may want to have more specific help. (Here are some resources to help you get more pertinent information about co parenting with an abuser, an addict and a narcissist.)

  1. Get clear about what’s most important to you as a parent.The most important thing to any parent is taking care of their children. Putting your kids and their needs front and center will help you focus and more easily navigate the poor behavior of…

Read more: What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence Post-Divorce

Doing these simple things can make a BIG difference in how you feel about yourself.

When I got divorced I thought it was painfully obvious to everyone who saw me – like there was a capital “D” tattooed on my forehead to announce my personal shame and failure without my ever saying a word.

Obviously, there was no tattoo. But everyone who saw me could tell there was something just not quite right.

What they were picking up on was my lack of confidence.

I was floundering. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore if I wasn’t a wife. I wasn’t sure what I wanted from my life now that I was on my own. I wasn’t even able to confidently make my own decisions about my personal life.

Simply put, I lacked confidence in my value as a human being outside of what I could (and did) do for others.

Now I hope your divorce hasn’t knocked you down as low as mine knocked me. And even if it hasn’t, chances are that your self-confidence has taken a hit.

To help you regain and maybe even boost your self-confidence, here are 5 simple tips for you to start using today:

  1. Look others in the…

Read more: 5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence Post-Divorce

Want To Know The Pitfalls Men Face When Divorcing?

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you'll ever experience.

 

10 most common

 

Get your FREE copy of "The 10 Most Common Problems Men Face When Going Through Divorce" ebook.

 

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