- October 29, 2018
It’s not just the betrayed spouse who suffers.
Few things are as rending to love, let alone marriage, than the scourge of infidelity. But besides the jilted spouse, who does infidelity affect?
There is no question that infidelity undermines the very foundation of committed love. It wipes out trust and replaces it with shame, embarrassment, anger, depression, and often irrevocable loss of intimacy.
When a spouse cheats, the question of “Who does infidelity affect?” is rarely the frame of reference for the choice to stray.
Being self-consumed with one’s own needs and/or lack of fulfillment in the marriage can blind one to the harm done to others. It can even blind one to the long-term harm to oneself.
Who does infidelity affect? It affects far more than you would think, including family and friends close to the marriage.
But the most sensitive barometers of change, especially change that “doesn’t feel right,” are children.
They may not have finely honed communication skills or the authority to make life decisions, but children are incredibly perceptive. And what they perceive becomes formative in their neurological and emotional development.
The emotional reaction to parental infidelity is similar to the reaction to parental divorce...except deeper, and with potentially more…
Read more: Who Does Infidelity Affect?
- October 24, 2018
Living in an unhappy marriage hurts your entire family. Follow these steps to find happiness again.
Every marriage has its ups and downs. It’s just that when things are down and have been so for an extended period that it’s time to start considering how to handle an unhappy marriage so you can start feeling better.
After all, you deserve happiness. Your spouse deserves happiness and so do your children. Yet when you’re stuck in a miserable marriage it’s hard for anyone in the family to feel happy.
So how do you handle an unhappy marriage?
The first step is to realize that whatever you choose to do is a result of a choice you’re making (or not making).
You’ll read this article and probably lots more, but not one of them will tell you unequivocally that you need to divorce (unless you’re struggling with one of the marriage deal breakers). And not one of them will tell you that you MUST stay in your unhappy marriage.
Next, you’ll need to determine if it truly is the marriage that’s at the root of your unhappiness or if it’s something else.
Sometimes people confuse a sense of unhappiness about their life or a portion of it…
Read more: How To Handle An Unhappy Marriage And Find Happiness Again
- October 15, 2018
Despite how overwhelming your grief is now, you can make your way through it and feel better again.
Dealing with the difficult process of grieving a failed marriage is one of the most traumatic life experiences you’ll ever undertake. Your grieving will begin long before you ever get to the divorce decree and will probably last well beyond it too.
Yet the difficult process doesn’t mean there aren’t things to do when dealing with grief before, during and after divorce.
You don’t have to remain mired in your misery over the end of your marriage and the life you knew. There are things you can do to help you heal and move through your heartache, so you can feel better.
In fact, here are seven things to do when dealing with grief to help you heal:
- Research the stages of grief
Learning about the different stages of grief will help you heal from divorce because you’ll have an idea of what to expect.
You won’t necessarily go through all of the stages in the same order as someone else. However, the knowledge you gain by this research will help you know that what you’re experiencing is normal and allow you to focus less on fear and…
Read more: 7 Helpful Things To Do When Dealing With Grief After Divorce
- October 10, 2018
These 8 suggestions will help you know how to help your friends dealing with grief about divorce.
Many of us struggle to know how to help friends dealing with grief over death. Knowing how to help friends dealing with grief over divorce can be even more challenging. And yet, while the circumstances of the loss may be different, the compassion called for is the same.
Advice on going through the grief process of divorce usually starts with defining the grief process itself. And whether the griever is mourning the loss of a life or the loss of a love, the stages are still basically the same.
Divorce, like death, has effects that ripple outward like a pebble thrown into still water. You expect the disruption to the immediate family, but there is always a broader circle that feels the effects. Those on the outskirts of the divorce experience their own loss and shift in normalcy, and these can affect their responses to those divorcing.
Knowing how to help friends dealing with grief over divorce can be tricky if you let your own feelings or judgments get in the way. It is common to intellectualize a divorcing friend’s emotions, or to try to make the friend happy…
Read more: How To Help Friends Dealing With Grief Over Divorce
- October 1, 2018
Divorce is difficult at any age but divorcing at 50 or later has unique challenges.
Divorce rates may be highest for people under 50; but divorce rates for those over 50 have practically doubled since 1990. And for those over 50 who are ending a second or third marriage, the statistics are even worse.
Life after a divorce at 50 is unique in both its immediate consequences and future outlook.
The upward trend of divorce after 50, led by the Baby Boomer generation, has been so dramatic that it now has its own epithet: gray divorce.
Obviously, there are characteristics unique to people and marriages in the “50’s+” stage of life.
Those who married in their 20’s or even 30’s have history -- and probably children -- together. Many spouses have been together for more than half their lives, making life after a divorce at 50 a veritable unraveling of a lifetime.
As life expectancies continue to climb and gender roles continue to equalize, there are more opportunities for individuals to grow. There are also more opportunities for them to grow apart. (A testament, perhaps, to the fragility of relationships and the need to invest in their sustainability.)
By the time people reach middle-age, children are…
Read more: What Life After A Divorce At 50 Is REALLY Like