March 16, 2017
Finally learning how to deal with your anger in a healthy way is an unexpected benefit of divorce.
Almost everyone who goes through divorce gets angry about it.
Your anger may only register as a sense of frustration, or it may be as overwhelming as rage, or something in between these two extremes. But that doesn’t mean that’s how it will feel tomorrow or even in the next moment.
That’s just how healing from divorce is – one unpredictable emotion after another.
Anger is a normal part of any grieving process and needs constructive expression if you’re going to avoid becoming bitter or enraged because of your divorce.
So, dealing with anger due to grief is definitely a skill you need to learn to get over your divorce.
However, before you can really deal with your anger you need to jettison the baggage about it that you’re carrying around. (Yes, you, like everyone else learned stuff that’s not all that helpful about anger.)
Maybe you believe that anger is bad and shouldn’t be expressed. So anytime you feel the slightest twinge of anger you suppress it. The problem with doing this is that the anger will fester and cause you both physical and psychological problems.
Read more: 5 Tips For Dealing With Anger Due To Grief About Divorce
March 13, 2017
It’s pretty scary what the stress of a bad marriage can do to you.
You got married because you fell in love and had dreams of living happily ever after. But somewhere along the way marital bliss turned to marital blah or worse.
You might even occasionally toy with the idea of calling it quits or half-heartedly attempt to work on your marriage. Instead of making any significant changes, what you end up doing is staying. You stick it out because the thought of doing anything different is just too big to deal with.
It might seem like this is the path of least resistance, but did you know the impact of your unhappy marriage is greater – a lot greater – than just feeling meh about your spouse? The stress of a bad marriage affects you physically, mentally and emotionally.
How does an unhappy marriage affect you physically?
- Weakens your immune system (source)
- Wounds are slower to heal (source)
- Increases you blood pressure (source)
- Increases your cholesterol (source)
- Makes you gain weight (source)
- Puts you at an increased risk for heart disease, cancer, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and arterial calcification (source)
- Causes digestive disorders (source)
- Causes hormone imbalance (source)
- Causes poor sleep (source)
- Shrinks your brain…
Read more: How Does An Unhappy Marriage Affect You?
March 9, 2017
Having an affair is one of the worst decisions you can make for yourself – and your family.
You’ve been unhappy in your marriage for a while now. It seems that things will never change – that your spouse will continue ignoring your needs.
You’re tired of feeling stuck, ignored and unloved in your marriage. So when someone else shows you the attention you’ve been craving you’re naturally drawn to them.
But before you continue down the slippery slope you’re precariously perched upon, pause and examine why having an affair is a bad idea.
Affairs hurt everyone – not just your spouse. They hurt you, your lover, their spouse, your children, their children, your family, their family, your friends and their friends. That’s a lot of people.
And before you start wondering too much about what an affair is, know that anytime you feel the need to keep a relationship secret from your spouse – regardless of whether you’re having sex with this other person or not – you’re having an affair.
Just what makes infidelity so bad?
These are the biggest reasons why an affair is a bad idea:
- You’re choosing to live in fear of changing your marriage.
If everything was great in your marriage,…
Read more: 11 Reasons Why An Affair Is A Bad Idea
March 7, 2017
Your old life is over. Here's how to start your new one.
When you find out your spouse has filed for divorce, it’s pretty normal to feel disbelief – like there must be some mistake.
There’s no way they would just throw in the towel like that … would they?
Once they confirm that they do want out, you’re overcome with despair.
You wonder if you’ll survive this completely unwanted destruction of your life.
And as reality begins to sink in, your fears start to rise up. In the midst of your despair, you’re overcome with dread because you begin imagining what your life (and your kids’ lives) will become.
All you can see is misery, destruction, and legal bills.
Some of your fears are true.
Divorce will destroy your life, but only the life that was – not the life that’s ahead of you.
And believe it or not, despite how terrifying they are, your fears are actually trying to help you survive your divorce and create a new life for yourself that will really work for you.
Despite the terror they induce, your fears are warnings.
They are the absolute worst-case scenario and alert you to a risk or threat you’re facing that…
Read more: How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce
March 7, 2017
Use these 3 tips for building your self-confidence and get over your divorce.
Failure. That’s what divorce is. It’s the failure of a marriage.
Divorce is NOT your personal failure. Yet that’s what almost everyone who gets divorced struggles with – the belief that they are now and forever more a failure of the worst kind because their marriage went bust.
Despite knowing the logical fact that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail, it’s almost impossible not to fall into the trap of believing that somehow you’re more responsible.
And to go along with the guilt about being a failure, you’re probably comparing yourself to all those other people you know who are still married. It’s like you’re piling on misery on top of misery with no way out from underneath the suffocating weight of failure.
What you’re experiencing is normal. However, “normal” doesn’t really help you emerge from the quagmire of self-loathing. So how do you stop beating yourself up? How can you ever believe that you’re not a failure (and that you are worth loving)? By building your self-confidence.
Maybe this answer sounds trivial to you or maybe it sounds impossible. Either way, it’s obvious you’re…
Read more: How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)