Divorce Blog

No More Sleepless Nights!

If you're sleepless, it doesn't matter how beautiful your bedroom is.

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events you can go through. And one of the most common symptoms of being stressed out is an inability to sleep well. Yet, sleep is one of the best ways to minimize the effects of stress by allowing your body and mind to recover. It can seem like you’re in a catch 22. You’re stressed out because of all the changes resulting from your divorce and really wanting a good night’s sleep (or two!), but you’re so stressed out and your mind never slows down long enough to get the sleep you’re craving which makes you more stressed. ARGGH!

I want you to know there is hope for a good night’s sleep. These are my top 5 tips for getting the rest you need to help you more effectively and easily deal with the stress of your divorce.

  1. Make sure your room is a place where (theoretically) you can easily go to sleep.Is your room dark enough? If not, get yourself a sleep mask. Is the temperature of your room conducive to sleep? If not, add a fan or more blankets or put on a pair of socks. Is your room quiet enough or too…

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How To Move On After Divorce

A moving truck helping someone move on after divorce.

Three things you need to do to successfully move on after divorce.

When I think about all the work I do as a divorce and personal life coach and how I help people navigate the chaos and confusion of divorce so they can get on to living the best of their lives, I realize that the bulk of my work really involves 3 tasks.  I work with people who want to move on after their divorce people so they can:

  1. Take care of themselves
  2. Separate the present from the past and create their future
  3. Realize they're not alone

These are three tasks everyone is required to complete to be able to successfully move on from divorce.

So many people who get divorced give up on themselves.  I was one of them.  I gave up on myself when I got divorced.  I thought that since I'd failed at my most important relationship what's the point?  Why bother doing anything more than go through the motions of living?  Yes, this was the voice of me experiencing melodrama and situational depression.

Although I didn’t know it at the time, my work as a divorce coachover the last few years has taught me that…

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Don’t Fall For These Lies About Divorce Recovery

The biggest lies you've heard about divorce recovery... debunked!

Maybe "lies" is a bit strong; maybe the words "myths" or "stories" work better. Regardless, there is a lot of pervasive misinformation (and bad advice) about divorce out there. So I'm here to help debunk it—because divorce is hard enough without accidently making it even harder. 

I've seen so many people suffer needlessly when trying to recover from their divorce as a result of believing these untruths; if you're starting over again, don't let these lies influence you. 

I also suffered from divorce recovery lies when I divorced. I believed the notion that all divorces are basically the same AND that I'd get over my divorce more quickly if I didn't think about it or allow myself to feel much anger about it. 

I believed that if I started dating, it meant I must be over my divorce. I didn't understand that those were such false misconceptions. But I learned—the hard way. I don't want that to happen to you. There is no one way divorce "should" go. So here are the most false ideas about divorce out there. Don't let these "lies" limit you, your healing, or your truth: 

1. All divorces are basically the…

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Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

Take this quick quiz and you'll know if you're ready to dive into dating.

Everybody is different and no one answer will be right for everyone.

This five-question quiz will let you know if you’re ready to start dating again or not.

  1. Do you want to date because your ex is?

    This is what I call the “me too” reason to start dating. It is not a good reason.

    Just because your ex has chosen to move on doesn’t mean you’re ready, too. Everybody heals and gets over a past relationship at a different rate.

    Allow yourself the time you need to feel more like you before you start dating again.

  2. Can you talk about anything else besides your breakup?

    If you find most of your conversations revolve around your breakup, your ex or how much you miss being in a relationship, then you are not ready to date. You are still grieving the loss of your relationship.

    Your friends, family and divorce professionals are the best people to help you through your grief – not some person you just met on Match.com.

    “It’s better to make sure you are past your breakup before you start dating.”
  3. Dating and relationships: Do you know the…

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Life Lessons From The Litter Box (And Pooper Scooper) Set

Paying attention to your pets can provide a lot of inspiration for getting through your divorce.

I have four pets, two cats and two dogs. They each have very distinct personalities. Jewel is the youngest cat at about 12. Her short fur is all black except for a patch of white at the base of her neck. She's all about food, cuddling and sunbathing. Her figure reflects her hedonistic life style and on the rare occasions when she runs, her furry belly wobbles so much that I’m amazed it doesn't get totally out of control!

Meow is an elderly cat who is a mix of just about everything: Siamese, Persian and Tabby. She is very regal and knows exactly what she wants and when she wants it. I love her determination.

Marti is a four-year-old black lab mix. His greatest joys in life are kids, food and playing, especially outside. Wait a minute. Make that playing outside with kids. Oh, oh, make that playing outside with kids who have food they're willing to share. That's Marti. He seems to always come up with ways to make whatever he's doing even more fun.

Tonic is a twelve-year-old Australian shepherd mix. She's big into cuddling and kissing,…

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