- March 2, 2018
Are you both open-minded and determined enough to consider this path instead?
Cheating isn’t always a death sentence for a marriage. In many cases, cheating is a catalyst for strengthening a marital relationship.
If you’re interested in learning how infidelity can save a marriage, you’re going to have to have an open-mind and be willing to make your own rules for your life despite what society may say is appropriate behavior.
Going against the norm isn’t easy, but when you make choices that reflect the true you the rewards are always greater self-respect and satisfaction with your life.
But, and this is VERY important, the only way you can have a chance of saving your marriage after an affair is if the straying spouse is genuinely remorseful AND the betrayed is willing to forgive. If either of you is unwilling to do your part, then there’s no hope for your marriage.
When the straying spouse does have genuine remorse and the betrayed spouse is willing to forgive, you can begin exploring the possibility of saving your marriage.
And the exploration begins with a broadening of perspective. Infidelity is betrayal without a doubt. It is also a wakeup call to the fact that it’s time to deal with your…
Read more: How Infidelity Can Save A Marriage (Yes, It’s Possible!)
- January 26, 2018
Divorce is not the only way to find freedom from a miserable marriage.
If you’re desperately wondering how to escape an unhappy marriage, your life has become intolerable. That’s because feeling miserable in your marriage colors your entire world and sucks the joy out of nearly everything.
You know there is a better way to live because things used to be better. But now all you can think about is escaping the misery. And the place to start planning your escape route is with understanding why you are so unhappy in your marriage.
Maybe your spouse consistently treats you with a lack of respect. Maybe you and your spouse have poor or nonexistent communication about anything other than the bare necessities of making things in your household work. Maybe your spouse completely ignores your needs for connection. Maybe there’s something else going on in your life that you don’t want to deal with. Or maybe your situation is even more dire, and your spouse is abusive to either you or your children.
To succeed in escaping your unhappy marriage, you must get crystal clear about exactly why you’re so unhappy in it. The time you take to reflect on the core cause of your unhappiness…
Read more: How To Escape An Unhappy Marriage
- November 12, 2017
Being betrayed hurts mentally, emotionally and physically.
There are no two ways about it. If your marriage has been impacted by infidelity, you’re going through one of the most excruciatingly painful experiences anyone can have. Dr. Barry Bass states that the after-effects of infidelity “resemble the psychic disorientation and confusion” victims of natural disasters suffer and that PTSD is also common for the betrayed spouse.
Yet, why is infidelity so painful?
There is a multitude of reasons for the agony you’re experiencing and why infidelity hurts so much.
- Your expectations for what it means to be married have been violated.
Everyone enters marriage with a set of expectations about what being married means. For most it includes a sexual, romantic and emotional faithfulness to each other.
When your spouse cheated, they violated the rules you thought you were both living by. The person who vowed to love you forever committed a crime against your belief in them. And a violation like this fundamentally quakes (and potentially breaks) the foundation upon which you have built not only your marriage but your entire life.
- You feel resistance about dealing with the change that has been thrust at you.
Because your spouse has violated their vows to you, your life has…
Read more: Why Infidelity Is So Painful To The Betrayed Spouse
- September 28, 2017
Divorce is no walk in the park at any age. But, when you are older, it can be particularly painful. To help you with this tough transition, here are a few important tips.
Meeting New People
Friendships outside of your marriage may be affected by your divorce. It can force friends to choose sides and leave you feeling defensive and lonely. Do not let yourself be isolated. Potential social interaction outlets might include volunteer activities, hitting the campaign trail for your favorite cause or candidate, or going to community events. Yet, you should not immediately jump into a new relationship. This is especially true if the divorce is not final.
Your Kids Will Still Be a Factor
Visitation orders and child support are not part of the discussion in most gray divorces. But, the divorce proceedings may still involve adult children. It is not unusual for adult children to rely on their parents for financial support. Unless the child is in school or has a disability, support for adult children is not generally something written into a divorce agreement. However, your sons or daughters are likely to react emotionally to your divorce.
You Will Likely Lose Half of Your Retirement Money
Retirement funds and other assets are commonly…
Read more: 5 Incredible Factors You Must Consider When You Divorce Later in Life
- September 19, 2017
The way forward isn’t easy, but it’s the best direction to go.
You can’t change what’s happened, no matter how much you may want to. The fact is you cheated.
Now, what you do about it, no matter what it is, will completely change your marriage.
Obviously, your actions broke your spouse’s trust. What may not be so obvious right now is that you also damaged your self-respect. It’s the impact your behavior has on you and your mate that has you wishing you could change the past.
The first step out of this mess is to figure out why you cheated and why you cheated now.
People have affairs for all kinds of reasons. According to Esther Perel, some people cheat in search of “an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation.” And sometimes people betray their spouse because there are significant problems in their marriage.
Don’t be surprised if you have a hard time figuring this out. It’s actually a good thing if this is difficult for you because it means that you’re being completely honest with yourself. It’s also an indication that you might do well to work with a helping professional to get to the bottom of why you…
Read more: So You Cheated … Now What?