Divorce Blog

Co-Parenting: What Not To Do

When co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.

Knowing these co-parenting what-not-to-do’s will help you be a better parent post-divorce.

Co-parenting after divorce is tough. But did you know you can make it even harder for yourself, your ex and your kids?

That’s why when it comes to co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. There is plenty of online advice for what you should do when co-parenting, but it rarely goes into detail about what not to do.

And this lack of clarity about the co-parenting what-not-to-do’s is often confusing for those parents who are trying their best to co-parent yet somehow, they just can’t seem to make it work as well as they’d like.

The lack of clarity can cause parents to believe that their behavior is appropriate when in reality it isn’t.

Regardless of where you fall, knowing what not to do when it comes to co-parenting (and then not doing it) will make you a better parent.

The co-parenting what-not-to-do’s fall into 8 different categories:

  1. Communication And Collaboration

    You probably already know that the foundation for successful co-parenting is communication and collaboration with your children’s other parent. Yet this can be difficult to achieve when your divorce still feels fresh.

    Here is…

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7 Tips For Adjusting To Life After Divorce

Woman who is happily adjusting to life after divorce.

Life post-divorce is different from married life. By using these tips, your different can be great.

The dress. The guests. The honeymoon. Newlyweds walk down the aisle planning a life of home and happiness, not adjusting to life after divorce.

But statistics speak to the glaring frequency of divorce:

  • 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
  • 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
  • 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

Every divorce is different, of course -- as unique as the individuals going through it. The age at which the two people married; the length of the marriage; the presence or lack of children. Countless factors chime in to make this painful journey as personal as the feelings each person experiences. Adjusting to life after divorce, therefore, is also a personal journey.

There are, however, many tips for helping those on the road to singlehood make that adjustment and come out the other side whole and happy. Let’s look at 7 of the biggies:

  1. Let yourself mourn.

    Divorce is a loss, plain and simple. It really doesn’t matter who initiated the split, or who owns what responsibility for what actions leading to it. It’s a loss -- a death of the dreams that…

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What Does An Unhappy Marriage Look Like?

Unhappy couple wondering, “What does an unhappy marriage look like?”

Does your marriage exhibit one or more of the typical symptoms of an unhappy marriage?

It’s normal to wonder about the viability of your marriage when you’re not as happy as you’d like. And the wondering can be both frightening and confusing. “Are we really that unhappy?” “What does an unhappy marriage look like?” “Is this salvageable?” “Is it me?” “Is it him?” “Is it her?” “Maybe all marriages get to be ho-hum. We can’t expect to be truly happy forever, right?

It’s not unusual for couples to spend years in an unhappy marriage before it dawns on them to ask, “What does an unhappy marriage look like?

Yes, there are the obvious betrayals -- infidelity, abuse, addiction -- but symptomatically even these don’t guarantee divorce. The truth is, there is never just “one” reason, one symptom, that causes a person to choose divorce.

Unhappy marriages grow insidiously from a lack of correction of harmful -- even if subtle -- behaviors and choices. And happy marriages taken for granted and left undernourished can render their partners asking, “How did we get here?

The very thing that makes romantic love so exclusive and unique is the same thing that…

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7 Signs Of Grief After Divorce

Man hoping to recognize the signs of grief after divorce so he can feel better.

How to find your finish line for dealing with grief after your divorce.

The signs of grief after divorce really aren’t that different than the signs of grief after death or any other major loss.

And that shouldn’t be surprising. Divorce, death and other forms of loss are all permanent departures from what has become your norm, your rhythm...even your security. The unraveling, the unfamiliarity, the aloneness, the emotional upheaval — it can feel like a 24/7 bad dream in a foreign language.

No matter how you got to this point or who did what, divorce sucks. It hurts. It drains. It confuses. And it can even catch one of the spouses off-guard, with no time to plan an emotional response.

While the signs of grief after divorce are listed in a tidy, logical order, your experience won’t be so tidy. Trust me on this one. The stages of grief have minds of their own and a full tank of gas...and they like to take the scenic route! Knowing this as you navigate your divorce experience can save unnecessary heartache when you start recognizing landmarks you thought you already passed.

Let’s explore seven distinct signs of grief after divorce.

If you are in…

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What To Do If You’re Thinking About Cheating To Get Out Of A Relationship

Man thinking about cheating to get out of a relationship.

Simply cheating won’t solve your problem. You can end your relationship in a better way.

If your relationship is over. It’s over. And yet you’re thinking about cheating to get out of it.

If you’ve already decided to end the relationship, why cheat?

There are three reasons why people believe cheating to get out of a relationship is a good idea.

  1. They’re afraid of telling their spouse that they want to end it.

    Owning up to the fact that you’re done with your marriage or relationship is difficult – especially if you’re afraid of how your mate will respond.

  2. They think their partner will end the relationship for them when s/he finds out.

    Cheating so that your spouse or partner will end the relationship for you is still avoiding owning up to the fact that you’re done.

  3. It’s the only “acceptable” reason to end your relationship.

    It’s unfortunate, but true that many people believe that being miserable in marriage despite working on things is not enough of a reason to end things.

Despite these reasons, cheating to get out of a relationship is a bad idea. It may solve your immediate issue of wanting out, but your mate, your children (if you have any), your…

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