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Divorce Blog

How To Recover After Divorce

Woman contemplating the question: How To Recovery After Divorce?

These 19 tips will help you heal from your divorce so you can move on with your life.

Divorce knocks you down in just about every way imaginable. Along with losing your marriage, you lose your lifestyle, the goal of raising your children in an intact family, and all the other dreams you had for the future. Each loss feels like another blow that takes you lower and lower into the depths of divorce despair.

Although you know there are plenty of people who have made it through divorce, you wonder what they knew about how to recover after divorce that you don’t. And then you think maybe your divorce is so much more horrible than what others have gone through that what they did won’t work for you.

And so your torturous thoughts turn as you wrestle with worries about how to get over your divorce. The problem is that the more you worry about it, the harder it is for you to recover which throws your thoughts back to thinking that your divorce is just so much more horrible than anyone else’s.

It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you stuck.

But you can break out of it. You can stop the self-destructive thoughts.…

Read more: How To Recover After Divorce

What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

Child whose parents are each struggling with co parenting with a toxic ex.

These 6 tips will help you become a better co parent despite how poisonous your ex is.

People call their ex toxic for a lot of different reasons – from anger about the divorce, fear about their ex’s parenting abilities, abuse, narcissism, alienating the children, and addiction. This wide range of descriptions makes it really difficult to find reliable information about co parenting with a toxic ex.

This confusion, on top of the already unwanted and tumultuous emotions of divorce, is the last thing you need.

Although the tips below will help you co parent regardless of the poisonous nature of your ex, they will be most helpful if your toxic ex behaves poorly toward you (and, at times, your children). If your ex’s toxicity is due to something more severe, you may want to have more specific help. (Here are some resources to help you get more pertinent information about co parenting with an abuser, an addict and a narcissist.)

  1. Get clear about what’s most important to you as a parent.The most important thing to any parent is taking care of their children. Putting your kids and their needs front and center will help you focus and more easily navigate the poor behavior of…

Read more: What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence Post-Divorce

Doing these simple things can make a BIG difference in how you feel about yourself.

When I got divorced I thought it was painfully obvious to everyone who saw me – like there was a capital “D” tattooed on my forehead to announce my personal shame and failure without my ever saying a word.

Obviously, there was no tattoo. But everyone who saw me could tell there was something just not quite right.

What they were picking up on was my lack of confidence.

I was floundering. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore if I wasn’t a wife. I wasn’t sure what I wanted from my life now that I was on my own. I wasn’t even able to confidently make my own decisions about my personal life.

Simply put, I lacked confidence in my value as a human being outside of what I could (and did) do for others.

Now I hope your divorce hasn’t knocked you down as low as mine knocked me. And even if it hasn’t, chances are that your self-confidence has taken a hit.

To help you regain and maybe even boost your self-confidence, here are 5 simple tips for you to start using today:

  1. Look others in the…

Read more: 5 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence Post-Divorce

Moving On After Divorce Without Losing Your Kids

You can have a great life after divorce AND still be a great parent too.

Divorce forces loss after loss after loss – loss of your marriage, loss of your home, loss of your life style, loss of your future together, and loss of your kids. Well, maybe you don’t really lose your kids, but it sure feels that way when you don’t get to see them every day.

When you’re used to being there for your kids and knowing everything that’s going on in their lives being without them is devastating. So, you do whatever you can to make the time you do have with them count more than ever. But when they’re with their other parent, you’re lost.

You know that it’s time to get on with your life, but the simple thought of moving on after divorce brings up fears of moving on from your kids and leaving them behind so their other parent can raise them. These terrifying thoughts are so crushing and abhorrent that you struggle to function.

So, you don’t move on. You continue to cling to your children and only really come alive when you’re with them.

The problem is that living only for your kids isn’t fair to your…

Read more: Moving On After Divorce Without Losing Your Kids

5 Tips For A Happier Life After Divorce

Woman who’s dreaming about a happier life after divorce.

When you’re over your grief, these tips will help you find happiness again.

Regardless of whether you chose to end your marriage or your spouse did, divorce hurts. The pain is the result of all the losses – lost love, lost dreams for the future together, lost family, lost identity, and a myriad of others.

Each of these losses bury you deeper and deeper into pain and sadness. You sink lower and lower wondering if you can ever truly be happy again.

Although it may not quite seem possible now, you can have a happier life after divorce than you can imagine.

The happiness won’t just happen automagically though. You’ve got to help it along by changing your mindset from one that expects more hurt and misery to one that begins to expect that you will have a happier life after divorce than the one you’re living right now.

Changing your mindset may sound like a daunting task given everything else you’ve got going on, but it’s actually pretty simple if you’re willing to make a small commitment to doing so and following some straight-forward advice.

5 tips for creating a happier life after divorce:

  1. Be thankful for what you have.

    Divorce forces you to…

Read more: 5 Tips For A Happier Life After Divorce