Divorce Blog

What Is Healthy Co-Parenting?

These kids of divorce don’t worry about what is healthy co-parenting, but their parents should.

Here are 12 of the most important characteristics of healthy co-parenting.

Parenting children is challenging. Co-parenting after divorce can be especially challenging...and anything but healthy.

So what is healthy co-parenting? And how can two people who couldn’t get along well enough to stay married be expected to co-parent like adults?

The norm for child custody used to be that one parent was the custodial guardian and the other parent had limited visitation. This might be every other weekend with extra time during vacations from school, or a similar but limited arrangement.

Today, however, it is common for parents to share custody of the children after divorce. The giant dry-erase board in the kitchen will be filled in according to “Mom’s week,” “Dad’s week” and a slew of co-mingling events defined by the kids’ active lives.

Co-parenting is greatly influenced by the reciprocal interactions of each parent. In other words, if you as the parents are inconsistent and ununified in your parenting, your children will be the ones to suffer.

When it comes to communication, if you don’t know or practice what is healthy, co-parenting will be unnecessarily difficult for everyone involved. It is a commitment that requires empathy, patience, honesty and open communication.

More than…

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If You’re Wondering, “Can I Survive Infidelity?” Here’s Your Answer

Woman struggling with the painful question, “Can I survive infidelity?”

Surviving infidelity requires that you make it though the emotional pain and rebuild trust.

The dagger of infidelity cuts deeply and scars in layers. It shreds your trust, hopes and dreams. It changes everything.

“Can I survive infidelity?” you may ask. If you are on the receiving end of your partner’s unfaithfulness, you probably feel as if you have been dealt a death blow. In one careless moment he or she has wiped out your marriage and ruined your life...forever.

If you are the unfaithful partner, you may be feeling an equal gravity, but for different reasons. “Can I survive infidelity?” may be a question more akin to “What have I done? And how do I get back what may be lost forever?”

Infidelity, without question, comes with heavy consequences. It can hit your life with the unexpected force of a tornado, and render equally disastrous effects.

A tornado doesn’t survey its target area before wiping it out. It doesn’t seek out victims based on income, home size or marital bliss. And, while infidelity certainly isn’t a random act of nature, it is equally non-partisan in its demographics.

Think infidelity is limited to unhappy marriages? Convinced you can see it coming for some…

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How To Get Over An Unwanted Divorce

Sad woman wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce.

Nine realistic and practical tips to help you with your journey of healing from an unwanted divorce.

There is a saying in psychology that “All relationships end. Someone either leaves or dies.”

If you are wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce, this may be small, if any, consolation. Especially if you have been deeply invested in the relationship, it may actually sound dismissive.

In a general comparative sense, divorce is similar to death. Both are final losses, whether of people, dreams or both.

If you have been left holding the grenade of an unwanted divorce, you probably have some “yeah, but’s” to add to that argument.

“Yeah, but death doesn’t mean you still have to see the other person.”

 “Yeah, but death isn’t done ‘to’ you.”

“Yeah, but death doesn’t leave you feeling unlovable.”

Being left to figure out how to get over an unwanted divorce can also leave you feeling shamed, isolated and rejected. Your emotions will run the gamut of anger, guilt and a willingness to do anything to save your marriage.

What you may not expect is the difference in the empathy and support received in the case of death versus an unwanted divorce.

While you…

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Co-Parenting: What Not To Do

When co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do.

Knowing these co-parenting what-not-to-do’s will help you be a better parent post-divorce.

Co-parenting after divorce is tough. But did you know you can make it even harder for yourself, your ex and your kids?

That’s why when it comes to co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. There is plenty of online advice for what you should do when co-parenting, but it rarely goes into detail about what not to do.

And this lack of clarity about the co-parenting what-not-to-do’s is often confusing for those parents who are trying their best to co-parent yet somehow, they just can’t seem to make it work as well as they’d like.

The lack of clarity can cause parents to believe that their behavior is appropriate when in reality it isn’t.

Regardless of where you fall, knowing what not to do when it comes to co-parenting (and then not doing it) will make you a better parent.

The co-parenting what-not-to-do’s fall into 8 different categories:

  1. Communication And Collaboration

    You probably already know that the foundation for successful co-parenting is communication and collaboration with your children’s other parent. Yet this can be difficult to achieve when your divorce still feels fresh.

    Here is…

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7 Tips For Adjusting To Life After Divorce

Woman who is happily adjusting to life after divorce.

Life post-divorce is different from married life. By using these tips, your different can be great.

The dress. The guests. The honeymoon. Newlyweds walk down the aisle planning a life of home and happiness, not adjusting to life after divorce.

But statistics speak to the glaring frequency of divorce:

  • 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
  • 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce.
  • 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce.

Every divorce is different, of course -- as unique as the individuals going through it. The age at which the two people married; the length of the marriage; the presence or lack of children. Countless factors chime in to make this painful journey as personal as the feelings each person experiences. Adjusting to life after divorce, therefore, is also a personal journey.

There are, however, many tips for helping those on the road to singlehood make that adjustment and come out the other side whole and happy. Let’s look at 7 of the biggies:

  1. Let yourself mourn.

    Divorce is a loss, plain and simple. It really doesn’t matter who initiated the split, or who owns what responsibility for what actions leading to it. It’s a loss -- a death of the dreams that…

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