- September 1, 2018
Tips for getting over the practical and emotional challenges of an unexpected divorce.
No one walks down the aisle wishing there were a rewind button. And no one says “I do” while secretly worrying about how to get over an unexpected divorce in the future.
It can seem absurd, if not surreal, to look at your life in review from the middle of a divorce. How did you go from the assurance of a happy life to the gut punch of having it ripped away?
It was only yesterday that the diamond ring was dangled. Now you’ve been served with divorce papers, leaving you to figure out how to get over an unexpected divorce.
It’s bad enough to be forced into a divorce you don’t want. But there is an extra sting, a piercing shock, when you didn’t see it coming. Wham! You’re thinking it’s time to add to the family or renew your vows, and your spouse has one foot and a suitcase out the door.
No matter how you got here or what role you played in the decision, the process of divorce isn’t easy. You will need the best of yourself in the game — alert, prepared, well-advised.
The question of how…
Read more: How To Get Over An Unexpected Divorce
- August 26, 2018
These practical tips will ease the struggle you face in coping with grief after divorce.
Coping with grief after divorce is not unlike coping with grief after death. Both death and divorce are “loss of life,” whether life in the physical realm or life as you know it.
In terms of coping with grief after divorce, it really matters very little who initiated the split. Even the reasons for the split have little bearing on the journey through grief.
Sure, there are situations and violations that will naturally cause greater pain and more intense feelings than others. But the stepping stones of grief will be the same, as will the recommendations for coping with grief after divorce.
First and foremost, acknowledge that there is going to be a grieving process. By giving yourself permission to experience grief — with all its ins and outs, ups and downs, messiness and unpredictability — you can come through with a new and hopeful lease on life.
So get ready to feel, and trust that the feelings themselves carry sage insight and benevolent gifts for your future. You are entitled to your feelings — all of them — just as you are entitled to the blessings stored in them.…
Read more: 12 Tips For Coping With Grief After Divorce
- August 19, 2018
Here are 12 of the most important characteristics of healthy co-parenting.
Parenting children is challenging. Co-parenting after divorce can be especially challenging...and anything but healthy.
So what is healthy co-parenting? And how can two people who couldn’t get along well enough to stay married be expected to co-parent like adults?
The norm for child custody used to be that one parent was the custodial guardian and the other parent had limited visitation. This might be every other weekend with extra time during vacations from school, or a similar but limited arrangement.
Today, however, it is common for parents to share custody of the children after divorce. The giant dry-erase board in the kitchen will be filled in according to “Mom’s week,” “Dad’s week” and a slew of co-mingling events defined by the kids’ active lives.
Co-parenting is greatly influenced by the reciprocal interactions of each parent. In other words, if you as the parents are inconsistent and ununified in your parenting, your children will be the ones to suffer.
When it comes to communication, if you don’t know or practice what is healthy, co-parenting will be unnecessarily difficult for everyone involved. It is a commitment that requires empathy, patience, honesty and open communication.
Read more: What Is Healthy Co-Parenting?
- August 12, 2018
Surviving infidelity requires that you make it though the emotional pain and rebuild trust.
The dagger of infidelity cuts deeply and scars in layers. It shreds your trust, hopes and dreams. It changes everything.
“Can I survive infidelity?” you may ask. If you are on the receiving end of your partner’s unfaithfulness, you probably feel as if you have been dealt a death blow. In one careless moment he or she has wiped out your marriage and ruined your life...forever.
If you are the unfaithful partner, you may be feeling an equal gravity, but for different reasons. “Can I survive infidelity?” may be a question more akin to “What have I done? And how do I get back what may be lost forever?”
Infidelity, without question, comes with heavy consequences. It can hit your life with the unexpected force of a tornado, and render equally disastrous effects.
A tornado doesn’t survey its target area before wiping it out. It doesn’t seek out victims based on income, home size or marital bliss. And, while infidelity certainly isn’t a random act of nature, it is equally non-partisan in its demographics.
Think infidelity is limited to unhappy marriages? Convinced you can see it coming for some…
Read more: If You’re Wondering, “Can I Survive Infidelity?” Here’s Your Answer
- August 6, 2018
Nine realistic and practical tips to help you with your journey of healing from an unwanted divorce.
There is a saying in psychology that “All relationships end. Someone either leaves or dies.”
If you are wondering how to get over an unwanted divorce, this may be small, if any, consolation. Especially if you have been deeply invested in the relationship, it may actually sound dismissive.
In a general comparative sense, divorce is similar to death. Both are final losses, whether of people, dreams or both.
If you have been left holding the grenade of an unwanted divorce, you probably have some “yeah, but’s” to add to that argument.
“Yeah, but death doesn’t mean you still have to see the other person.”
“Yeah, but death isn’t done ‘to’ you.”
“Yeah, but death doesn’t leave you feeling unlovable.”
Being left to figure out how to get over an unwanted divorce can also leave you feeling shamed, isolated and rejected. Your emotions will run the gamut of anger, guilt and a willingness to do anything to save your marriage.
What you may not expect is the difference in the empathy and support received in the case of death versus an unwanted divorce.
Read more: How To Get Over An Unwanted Divorce