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Divorce Blog

How To Be In A Relationship After Divorce Broke Your Heart

Couple who’s figured out how to be in a relationship despite previous heartbreak.

You’ve worked hard to get over your divorce. Don’t let it get in the way of your future happiness.

Living through the tumultuous end of your marriage is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. And the repercussions of it echo through your life in often surprising ways – and sometimes for a long time after your divorce is a done deal.

One of the most common ways to experience the fallout of divorce long after it’s final is in your new relationships.

So, when you meet someone you really like, it’s natural to wonder how to be in a relationship with them or if you even want to be in a relationship again.

This pause to question whether you want another relationship usually driven by fear. When your heart has been broken by divorce, it’s very difficult to believe that you could ever have a good relationship.

Your struggle with how to be in a relationship again could quite simply be a fear of the past repeating itself. But here’s the thing, the ONLY way this fear is real is if these two things are true:

  1. You’re exactly the same person you were.
  2. Your new love interest is just like your ex.

Now, if…

Read more: How To Be In A Relationship After Divorce Broke Your Heart

4 Secrets To Putting Your Divorce Behind You

By consistently using these 4 secrets, you’ll avoid getting stuck as you heal from divorce.

Many people naively assume that moving on after divorce happens naturally. They believe that somehow after either the decision to divorce is reached or the divorce agreement has been signed you are suddenly free from the past and should be over your divorce.

The truth is the people who think like this have rarely been through divorce themselves. They don’t know the agony of a failed marriage. They also don’t know how difficult it is to be able to honestly say that your divorce is just part of your past and not a constant presence in your life.

Despite the difficulty, you can truly get over your divorce and enjoy your new, unmarried life. But it will take more than just time passing or ink drying on some legal documents.

To put your divorce behind you, you’ll need to regularly use these 4 secrets:

  1. Have a vision for your life. Once you know what you want, it’s a whole lot easier to start doing what you must to have that life.

    But this isn’t quite as simple or easy as it seems at first. That’s because people who are struggling with getting over…

Read more: 4 Secrets To Putting Your Divorce Behind You

How To Deal With Loneliness When You Divorce

Learning how to deal with loneliness can feel like you’re lost and adrift at sea.

These 11 tips will help you escape from the isolation of loneliness after divorce.

Divorce catapults you into a stormy sea of emotions. Anger, disbelief and loneliness are just a few of the overpowering emotions you experience as you deal with the end of your marriage. Learning to deal with each of them is critical to your ability to move on, but learning how to deal with loneliness is one of the most difficult.

Dealing with loneliness is especially challenging because it’s a self-perpetuating emotion. It’s not energizing like anger so you can just work it out of your system by constructively expressing it. And it’s not like disbelief that you can conquer by consistently being presented with facts to the contrary.

Loneliness feeds upon itself. The more you experience it, the greater it becomes and the more difficultly you’ll have conquering it.

Loneliness grows deeper and more profound the more you experience it.

But feeling lonely as you deal with divorce is normal. You’re not really destined to be alone and lonely for the rest of your life – no matter how you feel right now.

“Feel” is a key word here because loneliness is a feeling. It isn’t a fact. And since it’s a feeling, you can…

Read more: How To Deal With Loneliness When You Divorce

Is Your Bad Marriage Bad Enough To Leave?

Woman driving and struggling with what to do about her bad marriage.

Guidance for answering one of the most difficult questions you’ll ever face.

No marriage is perfect – no matter how things may look from the outside. Every couple has struggles and for some the struggles are so great that the only way to describe their union is as a bad marriage.

But there are a couple of curious things about bad marriages.

Some aren’t bad all the time or even most of the time. These are marriages that are situationally unhealthy and are reactions to something specific that happens.

The other curious thing about unhealthy marriages is that bad isn’t the same for everyone. What one couple (or one spouse) calls bad another couple easily accepts as normal.

So what causes a bad marriage?

There’s no single or simple answer here. People who are in unhealthy marriages have all kinds of ways to describe what is the root problem of their relationship woes.

  • Betrayals – sexual and emotional
  • Too much fighting
  • Regularly receiving the silent treatment
  • Not talking about problems
  • Not cooperating or working together
  • Not listening to understand
  • Finding blame instead of problem-solving
  • Being taken for granted
  • Not meeting sexual needs
  • Not meeting needs for intimacy
  • Keeping secrets
  • Passive/aggressive behavior
  • Resentment
  • Apathy
  • Prolonged or repeated…

Read more: Is Your Bad Marriage Bad Enough To Leave?

Bi In Hetero Marriage: Am I Cheating If I Have Homosexual Sex?

The answer is definitely … it depends.

Outside of the legal definition, marriage is a commitment that two people make to each other. For most couples the commitment includes monogamy.

But what happens if a bisexual person enters into a marriage with a heterosexual person and still wants to have homosexual sex? Will they be cheating if they do?

If you’re bisexual and in this situation, you know this is a complicated question to answer. Yet by your willingness to answer it you’re doing a couple of great things. First, you’re honoring yourself by being aware of your needs (and your sexual identity). Second, you’re displaying love and respect for both your spouse and your marriage.

Getting back to answering the question … The only way to know if having sex with a same sex partner is cheating on your spouse is to look at your specific situation.

Situation 1: Your spouse knew you were bisexual and wanted to continue having homosexual sex when you married.

Since your spouse entered into the union knowing your sexual orientation and that you still wanted to fulfill your desire for sex with a same sex partner, you probably figured out a way to respectfully communicate about when you…

Read more: Bi In Hetero Marriage: Am I Cheating If I Have Homosexual Sex?