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Coparenting

How To Survive Co-Parenting With Your Ex AND Their New Love

How to survive co-parenting with your ex and their new partner.

 

You can survive just about anything when you focus on your kids.

Some people have it so easy. They’re actually friends with their ex and so learning how to co-parent after divorce comes naturally and easily for them.

Then there’s everybody else who has ever gotten divorced with kids. Everybody else struggles with how to survive co-parenting because they have to stay in regular contact with their ex and it’s about the last thing they want to do.

Then when their ex finds a new love and introduces this love to their children, their struggles escalate dramatically.

As uncomfortable, complicated and horrible as it feels, there are really only two reasons why anyone has difficulties with figuring out how to survive co-parenting with their ex and their new partner:

  1. Your ex and/or their new love is toxic.
  2. You’re not over your divorce yet.

Although it’s really easy to place the blame for all the trouble you’re having at your ex’s doorstep (and in some cases, that’s EXACTLY where it belongs), it takes a very strong person, just like you are, to consider the possibility you’re not quite over your divorce.

You know that your troubles with co-parenting are stemming largely from your need for more healing…

Read more: How To Survive Co-Parenting With Your Ex AND Their New Love

How To Discuss Co-Parenting Issues Without Losing Your Cool

This father learned how to discuss co-parenting issues without losing his cool for his son’s sake.

Use these 5 tips and create a collaborative co-parenting relationship – for your kids’ sake.

Co-parenting is tough. Somehow, you’re supposed to suddenly change how you think about your former spouse. You’re supposed to be emotionless toward them. You’re supposed to see them as a business partner in the business of raising your child(ren) and not as the person you thought you’d happily spend the rest of your life with.

Making this transition is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do because it requires that you heal from your divorce and deal with your grief while you figure out how to co-parent.

Talk about a Herculean task!

With all of this pressure to heal and put your life back together going on at the same time you’re learning how to co-parent, it’s natural that you and your co-parent are going to run into trouble communicating now and again.

So, learning how to discuss co-parenting problems when they arise and without the discussion turning into a battle is one of the most important skill you can develop as you create your new life after divorce.

These 5 tips will help you discuss any co-parenting issues that arise without losing your cool:

  1. Co-parenting is about the kids.

    Regardless…

Read more: How To Discuss Co-Parenting Issues Without Losing Your Cool

How To Win Your Next Co-Parenting “Conversation”

These 5 tips will help you feel victorious!

Making the transition from one half of a married couple with kids to being a co-parent is tough. One part of you never wants to see – much less communicate – with your ex ever, Ever, EVER again!

But another part recognizes that your ex is your kids’ other parent. And this part knows that your co-parent will be part of your life F.O.R.E.V.E.R…

You’ve got (at least) these two different perspectives warring within yourself every single time you have to interact with your ex. Every contact is a battle for you. And it’s got you completely stressed out.

You flinch when you hear your phone notify you of a new text. Your blood pressure soars when you see an email from your ex in your inbox. And when you know you’re going to see your co-parent you hardly recognize yourself.

The unhappy truth is that even though you’re not married any longer, your ex is still controlling you. And because they’re controlling you, they’re winning and you’re losing. Losing is not what you need right now. You’ve already lost enough with the divorce.

So it’s time to take control back,…

Read more: How To Win Your Next Co-Parenting “Conversation”

3 Tips For Raising An INCREDIBLE Child, Even If Your Ex Sucks

 

How to give them what they need – even when they’re not with you.

Kids need love, emotional support, consistent discipline, and structure to thrive. And you definitely want your child to thrive.

Yet, when you divorce, your ability to meet all of your child’s needs without fail becomes impossible – and not because of all the turmoil you’re dealing with. (Although, that does play a part.)

The real reason why you will never ever be able to meet all of your kid’s needs is because your ex, their other parent, has your child part of the time. And it’s your ex’s job to meet your child’s needs when they have your kid with them.

Yes, even if your ex sucks from your perspective, it’s still their responsibility to care for your child when they are together.

Of course, if your child suffers neglect or abuse when your ex is caring for them, then you do need to step in immediately. But thankfully, that’s not the norm.

When you can’t be 100% sure of what’s happening when the horrible person you were married to has your child, it’s easy to fall prey to your fears that your divorce will destroy your kid.

But,…

Read more: 3 Tips For Raising An INCREDIBLE Child, Even If Your Ex Sucks

What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex

Child whose parents are each struggling with co parenting with a toxic ex.

These 6 tips will help you become a better co parent despite how poisonous your ex is.

People call their ex toxic for a lot of different reasons – from anger about the divorce, fear about their ex’s parenting abilities, abuse, narcissism, alienating the children, and addiction. This wide range of descriptions makes it really difficult to find reliable information about co parenting with a toxic ex.

This confusion, on top of the already unwanted and tumultuous emotions of divorce, is the last thing you need.

Although the tips below will help you co parent regardless of the poisonous nature of your ex, they will be most helpful if your toxic ex behaves poorly toward you (and, at times, your children). If your ex’s toxicity is due to something more severe, you may want to have more specific help. (Here are some resources to help you get more pertinent information about co parenting with an abuser, an addict and a narcissist.)

  1. Get clear about what’s most important to you as a parent.The most important thing to any parent is taking care of their children. Putting your kids and their needs front and center will help you focus and more easily navigate the poor behavior of…

Read more: What You MUST Do If You're Co Parenting With A Toxic Ex