Co-Parenting: What Not To Do

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July 27, 2018

Knowing these co-parenting what-not-to-do’s will help you be a better parent post-divorce.

Co-parenting after divorce is tough. But did you know you can make it even harder for yourself, your ex and your kids?

That’s why when it comes to co-parenting, knowing what not to do is just as important as knowing what to do. There is plenty of online advice for what you should do when co-parenting, but it rarely goes into detail about what not to do.

And this lack of clarity about the co-parenting what-not-to-do’s is often confusing for those parents who are trying their best to co-parent yet somehow, they just can’t seem to make it work as well as they’d like.

The lack of clarity can cause parents to believe that their behavior is appropriate when in reality it isn’t.

Regardless of where you fall, knowing what not to do when it comes to co-parenting (and then not doing it) will make you a better parent.

The co-parenting what-not-to-do’s fall into 8 different categories:

1. Communication And Collaboration
   
   You probably already know that the foundation for successful co-parenting is communication and collaboration with your children’s other parent. Yet this can be difficult to achieve when your divorce still feels fresh.
   
   Here is…
   

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How To Discuss Co-Parenting Issues Without Losing Your Cool

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June 6, 2017

Use these 5 tips and create a collaborative co-parenting relationship – for your kids’ sake.

Co-parenting is tough. Somehow, you’re supposed to suddenly change how you think about your former spouse. You’re supposed to be emotionless toward them. You’re supposed to see them as a business partner in the business of raising your child(ren) and not as the person you thought you’d happily spend the rest of your life with.

Making this transition is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do because it requires that you heal from your divorce and deal with your grief while you figure out how to co-parent.

Talk about a Herculean task!

With all of this pressure to heal and put your life back together going on at the same time you’re learning how to co-parent, it’s natural that you and your co-parent are going to run into trouble communicating now and again.

So, learning how to discuss co-parenting problems when they arise and without the discussion turning into a battle is one of the most important skill you can develop as you create your new life after divorce.

These 5 tips will help you discuss any co-parenting issues that arise without losing your cool:

1. Co-parenting is about the kids.
   
   Regardless…
   

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How To Survive Co-Parenting With Your Ex AND Their New Love

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August 28, 2017

You can survive just about anything when you focus on your kids.

Some people have it so easy. They’re actually friends with their ex and so learning how to co-parent after divorce comes naturally and easily for them.

Then there’s everybody else who has ever gotten divorced with kids. Everybody else struggles with how to survive co-parenting because they have to stay in regular contact with their ex and it’s about the last thing they want to do.

Then when their ex finds a new love and introduces this love to their children, their struggles escalate dramatically.

As uncomfortable, complicated and horrible as it feels, there are really only two reasons why anyone has difficulties with figuring out how to survive co-parenting with their ex and their new partner:

1. Your ex and/or their new love is toxic.
2. You’re not over your divorce yet.

Although it’s really easy to place the blame for all the trouble you’re having at your ex’s doorstep (and in some cases, that’s EXACTLY where it belongs), it takes a very strong person, just like you are, to consider the possibility you’re not quite over your divorce.

You know that your troubles with co-parenting are stemming largely from your need for more healing…

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3 Tips For Raising An INCREDIBLE Child, Even If Your Ex Sucks

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June 6, 2017

How to give them what they need – even when they’re not with you.

Kids need love, emotional support, consistent discipline, and structure to thrive. And you definitely want your child to thrive.

Yet, when you divorce, your ability to meet all of your child’s needs without fail becomes impossible – and not because of all the turmoil you’re dealing with. (Although, that does play a part.)

The real reason why you will never ever be able to meet all of your kid’s needs is because your ex, their other parent, has your child part of the time. And it’s your ex’s job to meet your child’s needs when they have your kid with them.

Yes, even if your ex sucks from your perspective, it’s still their responsibility to care for your child when they are together.

Of course, if your child suffers neglect or abuse when your ex is caring for them, then you do need to step in immediately. But thankfully, that’s not the norm.

When you can’t be 100% sure of what’s happening when the horrible person you were married to has your child, it’s easy to fall prey to your fears that your divorce will destroy your kid.

But,…

Read more: 3 Tips For Raising An INCREDIBLE Child, Even If Your Ex Sucks