Dealing With Grief

How To Immediately Deal With The Loneliness Of Divorce

Details: December 1, 2016

A man wandering alone thinking about how to deal with loneliness.

You need these 6 tips to help you learn how to deal with loneliness after divorce.

Losing your marriage to divorce is one of the most difficult losses you’ll ever experience. What you’ve lost is so much more than just a marriage. Among so many losses, you’ve also lost a way of life, your dreams for the future, and your sense of belonging.

Despite the family and friends who are reaching out to help and support you as you struggle to make sense of your new reality, the truth is you’ve never felt so isolated and alone. You just don’t quite feel like you fit into the world now like you did when you were married.

Learning how to deal with loneliness is a normal (but really miserable) part of divorce.

But where do you start? Obviously, you don’t want to start with any philosophical statements about how dealing with loneliness is good for you. Where you need to start learning how to deal with loneliness is with things that you can do to immediately start feeling better.

Here are 6 tips to help you on your path to discovering how you can deal with the loneliness you’re experiencing:

Set a timer for 20 minutes and check out social…

8 Tips You Must Know For Successfully Coping With Divorce

Details: November 16, 2016

Woman crying as she struggles with coping with divorce.

Despite everything that is happening, there are ways you can deal with your divorce better.

Divorce sucks. It’s one of the most horrible experiences you’ll ever go through. And instead of allowing you the time and space to deal with it all, life demands that you keep going and meet the obligations you had before your marriage ended AND deal with a whole lot of other crap just because it’s just part of divorce.

Somehow you’ve got to find a way to cope with the end of your marriage and still keep functioning on a daily basis. It’s not easy – especially when all you want to do is curl up in a ball, pull the covers over your head and cry.

But just because it’s not easy, that doesn’t mean that coping with divorce is impossible. You just need to make some adjustments to what you’re doing now.

Don’t let that word “adjustments” scare you. These aren’t super huge changes. They’re relatively simple things that you can do bit by bit to ease your way into dealing better with your divorce.

Here are the 8 most important tips for coping with divorce:

Start each day with a plan.Now a plan doesn’t mean that you have to…

Divorcing? 9 Tips For Dealing With Grief

Details: September 26, 2016

Man staring off into the distance as he’s dealing with grief.

To get over your divorce, you’ve got to grieve.

Grief and grieving are typically associated with death. But there are lots of other losses that can also trigger grief.

According to The University of Texas at Austin’s Counseling and Mental Health Center, some of the other losses that can trigger grief are the loss of a friendship, serious illness of a loved one, leaving your home, change of job, loss of a physical ability, loss of financial security and relationship breakup.

Getting divorced will trigger grief. It’s normal to feel a lot of pain about the end of your marriage and all the other losses that are part of your divorce.

Yet feeling miserable isn’t where you want to stay. You want to move on with your life and you know that there are stages to grief. Yet you just can’t seem to stop crying.

Dealing with grief is complicated – especially when you’re grieving divorce because there aren’t social norms for you (or your family and friends) to follow to help you get through your divorce grief.

So if you’re ready to begin dealing with your grief so you can move on with your life, you’re going to have to take matters into your…

How To Trust Again Despite Divorce

Details: October 31, 2016

Woman looking out the window wondering how to trust again after her divorce.

Learning how to trust again takes effort, but the rewards for it include a happier life.

Divorce shatters many more relationships than just the one between spouses. Everyone expects that relationship to break because that’s what divorce is – the end of a marriage.

But there are other relationships that fail because of divorce. It’s common to also lose connections with in-laws, family, friends, children and most tragically yourself.

Each of these lost relationships leaves you questioning whether you really can trust again while at the same time knowing that you have to learn how to trust again if you’re ever going to make it through your divorce.

When you’re still dealing with grief over the end of your marriage it can seem impossible to even consider trusting again, but you can. It is totally possible for you to start building trust again despite all the betrayals you’ve suffered because of your divorce.

To begin, you need to examine what trust is. You must know what it is before you can learn how to trust again.

Trust is much more than a thought or a belief that you can count on someone (or something). This definition of trust implies that trust is simple that you’ve either got…

Stop Blaming Your Ex And You'll Start Getting Over Your Divorce

Details: September 12, 2016

Man who’s blaming his ex instead of getting over divorce.

The longer you blame them, the more you’re hurting yourself.

There are tons of reasons why people blame their ex for their divorce. Among the more common reasons are giving up, unwilling to work on saving the marriage, too argumentative, and unrealistic expectations.

And these are wholly justifiable reasons for feeling angry and hurt about your ex taking your dreams of celebrating your 50^th anniversary together and grinding them to dust without an ounce of remorse.

However, if you continue to focus on blaming your ex you’re only hurting yourself (and your kids).

Getting over divorce requires a lot of things including that you get over blaming your ex.

By continuing to blame your ex for the end of your marriage, you’re making your divorce more contentious. The increased friction has three main effects. First, all the arguing makes coming to a settlement take a whole lot longer. Second, you’ll wind up paying more for your divorce. Finally, getting over divorce is pretty difficult if your divorce is still going on.

All the blame you’re heaping on your ex-spouse for breaking up your family negatively impacts your kids. Sure, breaking the family up in the first place hurts your children, but by continuing to find fault with their other…