- September 12, 2016
The longer you blame them, the more you’re hurting yourself.
There are tons of reasons why people blame their ex for their divorce. Among the more common reasons are giving up, unwilling to work on saving the marriage, too argumentative, and unrealistic expectations.
And these are wholly justifiable reasons for feeling angry and hurt about your ex taking your dreams of celebrating your 50th anniversary together and grinding them to dust without an ounce of remorse.
However, if you continue to focus on blaming your ex you’re only hurting yourself (and your kids).
Getting over divorce requires a lot of things including that you get over blaming your ex.
By continuing to blame your ex for the end of your marriage, you’re making your divorce more contentious. The increased friction has three main effects. First, all the arguing makes coming to a settlement take a whole lot longer. Second, you’ll wind up paying more for your divorce. Finally, getting over divorce is pretty difficult if your divorce is still going on.
All the blame you’re heaping on your ex-spouse for breaking up your family negatively impacts your kids. Sure, breaking the family up in the first place hurts your children, but by continuing to find fault with their other…