Dealing With Grief

5 Ways To Survive Your Post-Heartbreak Grief

Grief isn’t the same for everyone and neither is healing from it.

Living through heartbreak is one of the uniting experiences of humanity. Nearly everyone suffers through losing a love. Many suffer through more than one and discover that each loss feels differently. The difference is due to each relationship being unique and the fact that people change over time.

So despite the commonality of grieving over a heartbreak, everyone grieves differently and any one individual may grieve differently over each heartbreak she has.

If that’s true, how can anyone hope to find help for not only surviving, but healing a heartbreak? Easily – if they remember that grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience.

In fact, The Atlantic reports that there are 3 different ways people grieve. About 10% of people who lose a loved one experience chronic grief. Between 30 and 40% plunge into grief and gradually recover. And that leaves 50 – 60% who quickly appear to be fine despite day-to-day fluctuations.

This means that what may be terrific advice for healing heartbreak for someone else may not make any sense at all to you. Keeping in mind that your experience is unique, consider these 5 ways to survive your post-heartbreak grief with a…

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Are You Going Crazy Or Just Getting Divorced?

Woman struggling with getting divorced.

The stress of getting divorced makes everyone question their sanity!

Ever since you found out you’re getting divorced, your mind has been running 1000 miles an hour. Your thoughts are bouncing around like a superball in a small room.  One minute you're feeling angry and frustrated. The next you're cataloging fears about what the future does and doesn’t hold. Then you're experiencing grief over what's been lost, or wondering how your spouse could give up, or fretting about how this is going to impact the kids, or feeling anxious about whether or not you’ll survive your divorce, or concerned over what people will think, or wondering if you’ll ever feel “normal” again.

It’s bad enough when thoughts like these happen one or two at a time, but that’s not what’s happening. You’re bombarded with these thoughts and emotions one after the other with little or no break in between.

As crazy feeling as this storm of thoughts is, it’s pretty typical for someone who’s getting divorced. Divorce turns your life upside-down and inside out. How you thought (assumed) your life would be is not what’s happening now. And this complete upset of what was your normal life is what has your thoughts in a…

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15 Hilarious Quotes To Help You Get Over Your Divorce With A SMILE

Laughter really is the BEST medicine.

Disbelief. Hurt. Loneliness. Heartbreak. Anger. These are just some of the most difficult emotions you feel during divorce.

It’s not that you’ve never felt any of them before. It’s more like on a scale of 1 to 10, the intensity of each is a 20. And, you’re experiencing them all at the exact same time, which feels debilitating and frightening.

When I was going through my divorce, there were times I wondered if I was going insane. And other times, I’d even have a fleeting question about whether I’d be better off if I took my own life.

These aren’t funny emotions and your divorce isn’t (necessarily) a source of comedy. But what if you could laugh (at least a little) about your situation or someone else’s? It's OK to find something funny about what’s going on — even if it’s at your ex’s expense. Heck, especially if it’s at your ex’s expense!

Research studies tell us time and again about the benefits of laughter. We're told laughter is the best medicine, with plenty of physical, mental and social benefits to laughter including: attracting others to us, easing anxiety and fear, and lowering stress hormones. (And who couldn’t use that while dealing with divorce?)

But, did you know that laughter can actually help dissipate anger?

In fact, comedians frequently use…

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Wish Your Ex Would Die So Your Divorce Won't Hurt So Much?

You don't (really) want them dead.

Divorce sucks. Two people who married with dreams of happily-ever-after become enemies who seemingly simultaneously want their former spouse to die and to love them again. It's a confusing, frustrating and maddening situation to be in.

More often than not, a divorcing spouse will lean toward one of the two opposing fantasies. I leaned toward wishing my ex would die — not because I really wished he would cease living, but because I wanted the pain I felt to stop.

Although my ex was the one who filed for divorce, I was fully on-board with the idea. I knew I would eventually be better off on my own than to remain in a marriage that I only knew how to make work by sacrificing who I really was in favor of who he had grown accustomed to me being. He became accustomed to be being the one that figured out how to make things work because that's what I did. I thought it was my responsibility to make our marriage work. (And, yes, we did work with a marriage counselor. But like most couples who finally choose to see a counselor we had waited too long to ask for help.…

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I Became My Own Divorce Superhero And Rescued Myself From Fear

Divorce scared the hell out of me. Until I decided to face that fear head on.

Numb and terrified. I spent so much time scared out of my mind after my divorce, worrying about what might happen to me. My nightmares were so bad, I hardly slept. And eating wasn't happening much either, as I constantly felt nauseous and without an appetite. My thoughts looped around a racetrack, imagining one possible catastrophe that might befall me after another. I felt completely helpless to change any of it, but as strange as it sounds, I felt the best in moments when I could finally be numb.

They say that you have to hit rock bottom before you can make the hard choices required to truly change your life. For me to get through my divorce, that's exactly what I needed—to hit rock bottom. Only then could I start to grasp the idea that I deserved to be free from the tyranny of my thoughts and fears, and that I had to chooseto overcome them, no matter what. I realized at one point that there was no magic wand to be found, no fairy godmother on her way, no knight in shining armor about to sweep into my life…

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