- June 6, 2016
Don’t worry, those thoughts are normal – whether they’re wanted or not.
They’re confusing, frustrating and add to the horrible mess of wondering if the whole divorce thing has finally driven you mad.
What I want you to know is that thoughts of reconciliation are completely normal when you’re dealing with grief after divorce.
So take a deep breath, relax knowing that you’re still sane as you read on to understand what’s up with those bizarre (and usually unwelcome) thoughts of reconciliation that are popping into your head.
Dealing with grief after divorce is a complicated thing. It’s lots different than dealing with grief after a death. Death is final. You’ll never look that person in the eyes again.
After divorce, you have the opportunity to look your ex in the eyes each and every time you hand the kids off and/or at each major event in the kids’ lives (think graduation, marriage, grandchildren, accepting a Nobel Prize, etc.). So finding closure after divorce is difficult and makes the whole dealing with grief thing more challenging.
Regardless of the grief you’re experiencing, you’re likely to go through the 5 stages of grief identified by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:
- Denial and Isolation