You Must Begin Your Divorce Recovery By Asking These 4 Questions

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January 14, 2016

Make the story of your divorce recovery bittersweet and successful instead of just bitter.

Divorce is tough. The worst part of it is that there's loss after loss after loss.

Divorce means:

You've lost your marriage.

You've lost your dreams of "happily ever after."

You've lost being married to one person for your entire life.

You've lost having your kids grow up in an intact family.

You've lost being able to see your kids growing up on a daily basis.

You've lost the conveniences that come with marriage - one home, shared responsibilities, shared parenting, etc.

These losses are only the tip of the iceberg of things you say goodbye to when your marriage ends. Divorce recovery is a tale of grief.

But the losses don't tell the whole story. They just set the stage - a stage of destruction.

It's the rest of the story that's the most powerful, the most affirming and the most wonderful. The rest of the story is about creating and rising from the ashes. It's a talk of you creating your life into something better than it was - a life you love even more. (Yes, it's possible.)

The trouble is you're probably not feeling all that…

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Is Kindness The Key To Coping With Divorce?

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December 16, 2015

YES! Being kind will help you heal and find happiness again.

Are you stressed out? Depressed? Does your self-esteem suck? Are you pissed beyond words at your ex? Do you have little to no patience with anyone else? Do you frequently have mood swings that make you wonder just who you are? Or do you simply wonder if you can ever be normal and happy again?

If you're still reading this, then you're either having a difficult time dealing with your divorce or you know someone who is. And don't worry, you're not alone.

Most people coping with divorce experience a wide range of emotions and thoughts they've never had before. It's easy to get caught up in the chaos of it all.

Divorce is difficult. But there is hope!

Research suggests that kindness may just be the best way to get through your divorce and feel greater happiness.

It doesn't matter whether you witness compassion, you receive kindness or you act kindly, the health benefits of benevolence are tremendous.

When you witness compassion your find a renewed faith in human nature, you experience an increased connection to others and chances are you'll be kinder too. (Psychology Today)

When you receive the thoughtfulness from others,…

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Want To Know How To Deal With Divorce? Stop Doing These 13 Things

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December 21, 2015

Knowing what to stop doing is just as important as knowing what to do to get through your divorce.

Devastating. For everyone whose spouse has decided to divorce them, that's the best description of the experience.

It's not a place you ever thought you'd be. But here you are. Your marriage has failed. You feel like a failure, unlovable and totally depressed.

These feelings are real and you must acknowledge them. But don't wallow in them. Letting these emotions rule your world will only keep you miserable.

The trouble is that the miserable feelings of divorce are insidious. They show up in sneaky, unexpected ways. And before you know it, you've succumbed to undermining thoughts and behaviors.

However, you don't have to stay stuck in the misery. In fact, by becoming more aware of your automatic behaviors and thoughts you can deal with your divorce in a much better way.

Here are 13 things you must stop doing to make it through and get over the divorce:

1. Feeling sorry for yourself.  Say it with me, "No more pity parties!" I get that things aren't exactly going as you had planned, but wallowing in the hardship and unfairness of it all will not help you cope…

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17 Healthy Signs You're Handling Your Divorce Like A Boss!

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November 16, 2015

A childhood claim is the key to divorce recovery. Seriously!

"You're not the boss of me!" is a familiar refrain from the playground. Remember shouting it at one of your friends when they got a little too bossy?

Well, believe it or not, "You're not the boss of me!" is a fantastic thing to say to yourself whenever your divorce, your ex, your friends and family, or even your attorney seem too bossy or overwhelming.

This childhood claim of personal power is just the thing to break the tension and stress. It is your cue to stop being reactive and start being more purposeful. In other words, you really do get to be the boss of you!

How do you know if you're being a good boss? Look for these signs that you're doing a fantastic job:

1. You talk about it, but not incessantly. Talking about what's going on helps you to come to grips with your divorce and to think of new ways to deal with all of the changes and demands. But you also know that if all you're doing is talking, you're probably stuck and could use the help of a coach or counselor to get moving forward again.
2. You…

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