- December 17, 2012
Life changes a lot when you separate and divorce. Things that used to be a regular part of life just aren’t anymore. And when things change in unexpected ways, we can get scared, frustrated and angry.
When clients begin working with me, they’re usually experiencing some combination of fear, frustration and anger. One of the first things we do is dive into what’s behind or at the root of these emotions. What we usually discover on our deep dive are limits that have been disregarded in some way. The limits could be behaviors, expectations, thoughts, beliefs or even habits.
The identification of your personal limits is a critical part of restructuring your life during and after divorce.
Some people are quite adept at identifying their limits – what they can and can’t do, what they think and why they think it, what they expect and why they expect it and what their habits of thought, belief, response and action are.
Others aren’t as aware of their limits. They aren’t quite sure of what their limits are or even if they want to know because they do and think what others tell them to.
And then there are people everywhere in between these two extremes.
Read more: Flexibility: It’s About More Than Just Muscles
- April 9, 2012
For most people, spring brings to mind sprouting plants, rain showers and new beginnings. And yet, despite the season, most people going through divorce find it hard at times to think of beginning anything new when what was -their marriage- is ending.
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the things that just won’t be any more -growing old together, taking that dreamed of second (or maybe first) honeymoon. It is sad that those things won’t be. And yet, your life will go on. You will be joyful and happy again -even if it doesn’t quite seem like it right now.
What do you say to the idea of starting to think and dream of things to say “hello” to? I hope I heard you say “YES!”
One of the things I know about any relationship and especially marriage is that you make compromises along the way. Maybe your former spouse snores like a freight train and in order to get any kind of sleep at night you’ve worn ear plugs to bed for the last 20 years! Or maybe your former spouse had food allergies and was allergic to garlic. So you haven’t eaten garlic bread or ordered pizza for the last…
Read more: From Endings To Beginnings