How To Be More Self-Aware

Why Emotional Self-Awareness Is Difficult For Some People To Attain

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July 31, 2020
Emotional self-awareness is behind this woman’s smile.

How well do you know yourself?

Who are the people you know really well in your life? Your spouse? Your parents? Your best friend? As you contemplate your most intimate, secret-keeping, mind-reading relationships, do you think of the relationship you have with yourself? Chances are you don’t. The level of emotional self-awareness necessary to truly know, let alone love, yourself isn’t easy to achieve.

Yet, it’s so easy, isn’t it, to have everyone else in your life “figured out.” You predict their thoughts and behaviors. You know why they do what they do. You’ve just been around them so long you can read them like a book.

You may even be “that person” all your friends turn to for a listening ear, comforting shoulder, and sound wisdom. You know what they’re feeling and why. Some people are just that “in touch.”

But how well do you have yourself figured out? Do you have a grasp of why you feel what you feel and do what you do? Can you read yourself the way you (think) you can read others?

Emotional self-awareness is the foundational element of emotional intelligence, which is a cluster of abilities that makes emotional regulation possible. But self-awareness is perhaps…

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How Can Self-Awareness Help Me?

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June 3, 2020
Beautiful mature woman wondering, “How can self-awareness help me?”

Would you like your life to be better?

Mirrors are funny things. How else would you have any sense of your countenance without reflective surfaces? That visual self-awareness, however, is just that — visual (and the reverse of how you appear to others). Answering the question How can self-awareness help me? requires a different (and much more important) kind of mirror.

For all the eye rolls women get for the time they spend in front of mirrors, it turns out men have greater expression of the Narcissus gene. Men look at their reflection an average of 23 times a day, compared to 16 times a day for women.

What is especially interesting about this study’s findings is that men visit their reflection to admire it. Women, on the other hand, approach with a more critical eye.

No matter how easy it is to focus on the exterior, life and relationships are about so much more. There’s nothing like the revolving door of Hollywood marriages to drive home the point that wealth and physical beauty don’t guarantee happiness.

So you ask, How can self-awareness help me? How can it make a positive difference in my life if I don’t even realize I need it?

Self-awareness is a…

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How Self-Awareness Can Affect Communication With Anyone In Incredibly Positive Ways

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February 12, 2020
Man and woman sitting in a coffee shop exploring how self-awareness can affect communication.

Knowing yourself will help you better understand what others are trying to tell you.

When you think of being “self-aware,” you may have flashbacks to self-help books and guided meditations. But would you even consider how self-awareness can affect communication with the people in your life? Would it dawn on you that your ability — and willingness — to know yourself can improve your ability to know others? 

If you’re stuck in the perception that communication is all about what you say, you’ll miss out on how self-awareness can affect communication. 

It rarely occurs to most people that listening is the most important part of communication. If you’re all ears and no talk, what kind of communication is really going on?

A lot, actually — especially if the listening starts with yourself. 

And this is what self-awareness is all about. It’s not a chapter in New Age spiritualism or a state of mind achieved only under hypnosis (although hypnosis can help).

Awareness is the ability to be conscious of the experiences and stimuli that ultimately determine how you take in and process information. What you think, believe, and sense is a reflection of what is already dwelling and stirring within you.

Self-awareness, in a…

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How Can Self-Awareness Improve Your Relationship?

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April 10, 2020
Self-aware woman standing behind her sitting husband and hugging him.

The real question is, “How can’t it?”

If you’re married, have you ever pondered the evolution (or de-evolution) of your relationship from an emotional and communication standpoint? Have you ever wondered how you went from hanging onto your soon-to-be spouse’s every word to having a knee-jerk reaction to everything s/he now says? It’s so easy to be aware of every little annoyance inflicted by the other person. And yet, that awareness never solves anything. So how can self-awareness improve your relationship if other-awareness can’t?

Words like “improve,” “grow,” and “evolve” are really just positive expressions for “change.” As we all know, the only thing consistent in life is change. But the defining element for the nature and quality of that change is awareness. Without it, change has no direction, no higher purpose.

Being aware of what is going on outside of you is far easier than being aware of what is going on inside of you. What others say and do, how they say and do it; traffic; weather; politics; love; hatred; kindness; war. Who has time to self-examine when there is so much to focus on “out there”? And by focusing “out there” you’re opening yourself up to being judgmental and placing…

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