Life After Divorce

How You Can Break Through The Soul-Crushing Loneliness Of Divorce

Details: June 1, 2016

Man facing the isolation resulting from the loneliness of divorce.

Leave the loneliness of divorce behind by doing things you love.

Being suddenly single may seem like a dream come true to those in an unhappy marriage, but to anyone who’s going through divorce being suddenly single is devastating.

The depth of the loneliness of divorce is almost beyond description. You exist in the world, but you don’t feel a part of it. You feel isolated. Somehow connection remains frustratingly beyond your reach because now you’re different from the rest of the world (at least the world you knew when you were married).

Despite the misery of your exile and the desperate loneliness of divorce you’re experiencing, it is self-imposed. And that’s a good thing!

At first you isolated yourself because of the extreme pain you were in as a result of your marriage ending. You played it safe and leaned on your existing friends – those people who knew you before. (It’s natural to protect yourself like this after divorce.)

But now you’re facing a different problem. Sure, the pain is still there, but instead of continuing to feel safe with these friends, you’re feeling separate and unlike them.

And the reason you’re feeling separate now is that is they’re married and you’re…

4 Divorced-Girl Tricks For Surviving The Wedding Season With Grace

Details: May 3, 2016

Tossing the invites into the trash isn't your ONLY option.

The trees are leafing out. The flowers are blooming. You can’t escape it no matter how much you want to right now. It’s wedding season and the invitations have started arriving.

Your friends deserve happiness and you wish them well, but why the crap do they need to send you an invitation to their flipping wedding?

Don’t they know that just seeing their invitation sends you into a tail spin? It’s like they’re purposely rubbing salt into your divorce wound. Don’t they realize that their invitation is just another reminder of your failure?

Honestly, no, they don’t understand your pain. Unless you’ve been through divorce, you don’t get it.

So the invitations are still going to come. And you need a way to deal with them a little better than just throwing them away unopened and grabbing a pint of Haagen-Dazs, a bottle of wine and/or Tinder.

Option 1: Decline the invitation. If going to a wedding is too painful for you, that’s OK. Divorce griefis a big deal. There’s no reason to put yourself into a situation that will undermine your healing. You have to take care of you first. Your friend will understand.…

What You Must Do To Have An Ah-Mazing Life After Divorce

Details: March 7, 2016

Your life after divorce can be as happy as this woman looks!

Science says all it takes is some belief in yourself.

Starting over again after divorce fills you with a terrifying (and slightly obsessive) set of fears. You’re afraid that your life after divorce can only be worse than your life was before. You hammer yourself with the thought that you failed at being married. And obviously this failure means there’s something wrong with you which, again obviously, means you deserve misery for the rest of your life.

Well, OK, maybe that’s not what your fears about your life after divorce are, but that’s what mine were. As you can tell, I quickly slid into the abyss of self-loathing.

But even with all my divorce depression and self-flagellation, I was also secretly excited about the possibilities my freedom opened up for me – at least sometimes. It was really an immensely confusing time for me.

I found my way out of my fog of misery by slowly changing my opinion of myself. I thought, “Maybe, just maybe I wasn’t unwanted trash because my marriage failed. Maybe I could kinda start believing my friends who said I was wonderful.” And that’s how I found the trailhead for my long trek from divorceback to living an ah-mazing life…

5 Daily Habits To Jump-Start Success In Your Life After Divorce

Details: April 18, 2016

Woman smiling because her life after divorce is great!

Yes, even with a failed marriage your life after divorce can be successful (and happy).

I can hear you now. “Success? Who the crap can think about success or happiness when their marriage just ended in divorce?”

Although you might not initially believe me, you should think about both happiness and success right now – not from the standpoint of how you don’t have either, but from the standpoint of how you can achieve both.

Look, your life is happening right now and the only way to make sure your life after divorce works for you is if you make the effort to start getting some things in order as quickly as you’re able.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being flip about the pain you’re feeling.

Your divorce is probably one of the lowest points of your life. (It was for me.) Not only is your old life stripped away, but you’re faced with really hard questions about how to make your way through life on your own (maybe even as a single parent).

You’re going to have to continue the hard work you’ve already been doing to set yourself (and your kids) up for a successful post-divorce life. Transitioning from married to single…

7 Tips for Dating After Divorce

Details: February 19, 2016

Dating after divorce should be fun! Follow these tips to make sure it is.

Once your divorce is inevitable, you’re probably going to start thinking about the possibility of another relationship. And these thoughts will stir up all kinds of emotions – fear, disbelief, curiosity, confusion, frustration, intimidation and excitement – as you progress through making your divorce final.

Dating after divorce is way different than dating was before you got married.

Not only has dating itself changed (say hello to Tinder, eHarmony, Match, OKCupid, etc.), but you’ve changed. Marriage, parenthood and divorce tend to do that to a person.

So before you run full tilt to embrace dating as part of your life after divorce, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a few things in order.

Make sure you’re ready to date. You’re probably not ready to date if you’re not healed from your divorce. It’s really hard to have a good time dating if you still cry when you tell the story of your breakup because it will come up – usually on the first date.

Being healed from your divorce also means that you understand why your marriage failed and your part in it. (Yeah, it really does take two for…