What You Must Do To Have An Ah-Mazing Life After Divorce

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March 7, 2016

Science says all it takes is some belief in yourself.

Starting over again after divorce fills you with a terrifying (and slightly obsessive) set of fears. You’re afraid that your life after divorce can only be worse than your life was before. You hammer yourself with the thought that you failed at being married. And obviously this failure means there’s something wrong with you which, again obviously, means you deserve misery for the rest of your life.

Well, OK, maybe that’s not what your fears about your life after divorce are, but that’s what mine were. As you can tell, I quickly slid into the abyss of self-loathing.

But even with all my divorce depression and self-flagellation, I was also secretly excited about the possibilities my freedom opened up for me – at least sometimes. It was really an immensely confusing time for me.

I found my way out of my fog of misery by slowly changing my opinion of myself. I thought, “Maybe, just maybe I wasn’t unwanted trash because my marriage failed. Maybe I could kinda start believing my friends who said I was wonderful.” And that’s how I found the trailhead for my long trek from divorceback to living an ah-mazing life…

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Celebrate Your Life After Divorce! Don't Just Get Through It.

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February 15, 2016

Three easy tips to start celebrating your life again.

If you were on the receiving end of the announcement “I want a divorce”, your self-esteem took a huge hit. For months your mind reeled with questions about why you weren’t good enough for them anymore. It was a horribly painful time.

The lucky ones figure out that they will be better off without their ex. They believe that being someplace and with someone who celebrates them and doesn’t just tolerate them is mandatory.

But for way too many the pain of rejection continues into their life after divorce - and this is the real tragedy.

Sure, the the end of your marriage is horribly sad, but replacing what can be a vibrant, joyful life for one of mere existence or even misery is an absolute disaster.

Now I’m not saying that you should ignore your feelings of sadness or loneliness. But what I am saying is you also need to allow other (more uplifting) emotions to have some of your time and attention too.

And you’re probably wondering something like, “Yeah, how do you do that when you’re consumed with hurt, anger and self-loathing?”

You do it bit by bit. AND you do it…

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7 Tips for Dating After Divorce

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February 19, 2016

Dating after divorce should be fun! Follow these tips to make sure it is.

Once your divorce is inevitable, you’re probably going to start thinking about the possibility of another relationship. And these thoughts will stir up all kinds of emotions – fear, disbelief, curiosity, confusion, frustration, intimidation and excitement – as you progress through making your divorce final.

Dating after divorce is way different than dating was before you got married.

Not only has dating itself changed (say hello to Tinder, eHarmony, Match, OKCupid, etc.), but you’ve changed. Marriage, parenthood and divorce tend to do that to a person.

So before you run full tilt to embrace dating as part of your life after divorce, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a few things in order.

1. Make sure you’re ready to date. You’re probably not ready to date if you’re not healed from your divorce. It’s really hard to have a good time dating if you still cry when you tell the story of your breakup because it will come up – usually on the first date.
   
   Being healed from your divorce also means that you understand why your marriage failed and your part in it. (Yeah, it really does take two for…

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Divorced? Here's How To Find The REAL Love Of Your Life

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November 23, 2015

Engage both your heart and your head to find your perfect match after divorce.

Are you afraid of getting into another relationship because your marriage ended in divorce? But you're also afraid of being alone for the rest of your life? But maybe you can find the REAL love of your life if you can just get over the terror of getting stuck with the same kind of person you just divorced!

It's confusing isn't it? Believe it or not, what you're experiencing is pretty typical of what we all go through post-divorce. And there is a solution to the confusion. You can fix your picker and discover true love.

The solution is not very romantic, but it works. You need to treat choosing your next mate like you're interviewing them for a job.

Yup, you're going to interview for someone who will hold a very special place in your life and your heart. You're going to have to look past the initial romance of the flutterings of your heart (and past the great sex). The attraction, connection and sexual tension are just the minimum requirements.

To fix your picker you need to critically evaluate the character of the person. You must refuse to settle. And…

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