5 Daily Habits To Jump-Start Success In Your Life After Divorce

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April 18, 2016

Yes, even with a failed marriage your life after divorce can be successful (and happy).

I can hear you now. “Success? Who the crap can think about success or happiness when their marriage just ended in divorce?”

Although you might not initially believe me, you should think about both happiness and success right now – not from the standpoint of how you don’t have either, but from the standpoint of how you can achieve both.

Look, your life is happening right now and the only way to make sure your life after divorce works for you is if you make the effort to start getting some things in order as quickly as you’re able.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being flip about the pain you’re feeling.

Your divorce is probably one of the lowest points of your life. (It was for me.) Not only is your old life stripped away, but you’re faced with really hard questions about how to make your way through life on your own (maybe even as a single parent).

You’re going to have to continue the hard work you’ve already been doing to set yourself (and your kids) up for a successful post-divorce life. Transitioning from married to single…

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7 Tips for Dating After Divorce

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February 19, 2016

Dating after divorce should be fun! Follow these tips to make sure it is.

Once your divorce is inevitable, you’re probably going to start thinking about the possibility of another relationship. And these thoughts will stir up all kinds of emotions – fear, disbelief, curiosity, confusion, frustration, intimidation and excitement – as you progress through making your divorce final.

Dating after divorce is way different than dating was before you got married.

Not only has dating itself changed (say hello to Tinder, eHarmony, Match, OKCupid, etc.), but you’ve changed. Marriage, parenthood and divorce tend to do that to a person.

So before you run full tilt to embrace dating as part of your life after divorce, you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a few things in order.

1. Make sure you’re ready to date. You’re probably not ready to date if you’re not healed from your divorce. It’s really hard to have a good time dating if you still cry when you tell the story of your breakup because it will come up – usually on the first date.
   
   Being healed from your divorce also means that you understand why your marriage failed and your part in it. (Yeah, it really does take two for…

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What You Must Do To Have An Ah-Mazing Life After Divorce

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March 7, 2016

Science says all it takes is some belief in yourself.

Starting over again after divorce fills you with a terrifying (and slightly obsessive) set of fears. You’re afraid that your life after divorce can only be worse than your life was before. You hammer yourself with the thought that you failed at being married. And obviously this failure means there’s something wrong with you which, again obviously, means you deserve misery for the rest of your life.

Well, OK, maybe that’s not what your fears about your life after divorce are, but that’s what mine were. As you can tell, I quickly slid into the abyss of self-loathing.

But even with all my divorce depression and self-flagellation, I was also secretly excited about the possibilities my freedom opened up for me – at least sometimes. It was really an immensely confusing time for me.

I found my way out of my fog of misery by slowly changing my opinion of myself. I thought, “Maybe, just maybe I wasn’t unwanted trash because my marriage failed. Maybe I could kinda start believing my friends who said I was wonderful.” And that’s how I found the trailhead for my long trek from divorceback to living an ah-mazing life…

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Celebrate Your Life After Divorce! Don't Just Get Through It.

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February 15, 2016

Three easy tips to start celebrating your life again.

If you were on the receiving end of the announcement “I want a divorce”, your self-esteem took a huge hit. For months your mind reeled with questions about why you weren’t good enough for them anymore. It was a horribly painful time.

The lucky ones figure out that they will be better off without their ex. They believe that being someplace and with someone who celebrates them and doesn’t just tolerate them is mandatory.

But for way too many the pain of rejection continues into their life after divorce - and this is the real tragedy.

Sure, the the end of your marriage is horribly sad, but replacing what can be a vibrant, joyful life for one of mere existence or even misery is an absolute disaster.

Now I’m not saying that you should ignore your feelings of sadness or loneliness. But what I am saying is you also need to allow other (more uplifting) emotions to have some of your time and attention too.

And you’re probably wondering something like, “Yeah, how do you do that when you’re consumed with hurt, anger and self-loathing?”

You do it bit by bit. AND you do it…

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