DrKarenFinn 00000

facebookBlack linkedinBlack twitterBlack youtubeBlack googleBlack

Life After Divorce

21 Tips To Survive Divorce And The Holidays

Make the season brighter by learning how to survive divorce and the holidays.

The holidays are typically a time for celebration with friends and family. Yet, when you’re divorcing, the holiday season can feel anything but merry. To help you enjoy this holiday season instead of dreading it, here are 21 tips you can use today to survive your divorce and the holidays.

1. Be patient

Even in the best of times, the holidays can be a bit hectic. However, when you’re celebrating the holidays for the first time on your own, they can feel more than hectic. They can feel overwhelming! You’ve got so much going on emotionally with your divorce that the added tasks, events and scheduling of the holidays can all be just a bit too much.

Be patient with yourself, your kids and the rest of your family as you navigate the holidays. This is new and different for everyone and a little patience will go a long way toward making your first holidays post-separation/divorce more enjoyable than you might believe they can be right now.

2. Be flexible

The holidays are about celebrating with family and friends and don’t HAVE to occur on only one specific day. Many of my clients who are celebrating the holidays for the first time as a single…

Read more: 21 Tips To Survive Divorce And The Holidays

Time Management Tips For Real Divorce Recovery

Life is crazy enough without having to deal with divorce recovery. Learn how to make it easier.

When I got divorced in 2002, I thought that after the decree was signed by the judge everything would be better. I'd somehow magically be over all of the pain, fear, anger and disorganization that seemed to have overtaken my life. But, as you've probably guessed, the divorce decree wasn’t quite the magic wand I was hoping for. 

It took me more than a year to really get myself feeling good again. There were just so many changes in my life and I didn't have a great way for absorbing all them, given the demands of a life I was already dealing with. I wound up procrastinating instead of doing things. My house was a wreck. I hardly had any food in the kitchen, but that didn't matter because I didn't eat much. My health was deteriorating. I was hardly sleeping. I think I was running on adrenaline, caffeine, sugar and not much else. Bottom line: I was exhausted and falling behind on everything.

I found my way out of the mess divorce created in my life, but it wasn't a simple task. I had to decide what…

Read more: Time Management Tips For Real Divorce Recovery

Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

Take this quick quiz and you'll know if you're ready to dive into dating.

Everybody is different and no one answer will be right for everyone.

This five-question quiz will let you know if you’re ready to start dating again or not.



  1. Do you want to date because your ex is?

    This is what I call the “me too” reason to start dating. It is not a good reason.

    Just because your ex has chosen to move on doesn’t mean you’re ready, too. Everybody heals and gets over a past relationship at a different rate.

    Allow yourself the time you need to feel more like you before you start dating again.

  2. Can you talk about anything else besides your breakup?

    If you find most of your conversations revolve around your breakup, your ex or how much you miss being in a relationship, then you are not ready to date. You are still grieving the loss of your relationship.

    Your friends, family and divorce professionals are the best people to help you through your grief – not some person you just met on Match.com.

    “It’s better to make sure you are past your breakup before you start dating.”
  3. Dating and relationships: Do you know the…

Read more: Are You Ready To Start Dating Again?

Finding The Right Divorce Experts For You

Woman searching for divorce experts.

For most people, divorce is made up of a bunch of unfamiliar events, requirements, emotions and behaviors. It can be a very confusing time. Because divorce is so confusing, unfamiliar and legal, it’s in your best interest to have exactly the right divorce experts to help you out.

The first expert most people find to guide them through divorce is an attorney or a mediator. The legalities of divorce can have repercussions for years and you deserve to have your interests attended to by an expert. However, an attorney may not be the first divorce expert you need to consult.

Another expert you might choose to assist you is a Certified Divorce Financial AnalystTM (CDFA). Experts with this designation can help you understand the long-term implications of various divisions of the marital assets and liabilities. For example, they can help you decide if it makes financial sense for you to keep the house. You deserve to have your financial interests attended to by an expert, but a financial expert may not be the first divorce expert you need to consult either.

People often also turn to a physician or psychiatrist to help them combat the worst of the emotional turmoil of divorce with medication. If…

Read more: Finding The Right Divorce Experts For You

Life Lessons From The Litter Box (And Pooper Scooper) Set

Paying attention to your pets can provide a lot of inspiration for getting through your divorce.

I have four pets, two cats and two dogs. They each have very distinct personalities. Jewel is the youngest cat at about 12. Her short fur is all black except for a patch of white at the base of her neck. She's all about food, cuddling and sunbathing. Her figure reflects her hedonistic life style and on the rare occasions when she runs, her furry belly wobbles so much that I’m amazed it doesn't get totally out of control!

Meow is an elderly cat who is a mix of just about everything: Siamese, Persian and Tabby. She is very regal and knows exactly what she wants and when she wants it. I love her determination.

Marti is a four-year-old black lab mix. His greatest joys in life are kids, food and playing, especially outside. Wait a minute. Make that playing outside with kids. Oh, oh, make that playing outside with kids who have food they're willing to share. That's Marti. He seems to always come up with ways to make whatever he's doing even more fun.

Tonic is a twelve-year-old Australian shepherd mix. She's big into cuddling and kissing,…

Read more: Life Lessons From The Litter Box (And Pooper Scooper) Set

Want To Know The Pitfalls Men Face When Divorcing?

Divorce is one of the most painful and complicated things you'll ever experience.

 

10 most common

 

Get your FREE copy of "The 10 Most Common Problems Men Face When Going Through Divorce" ebook.

 

     *
     *
     *