Divorced? 3 Tips For Taking The Horrible Out Of Your Holidays

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November 9, 2015

Your holidays may not be perfect this year, but you can still enjoy them!

Anticipating your first holidays after your divorce (or separation) is horrible. Everywhere you look there are reminders that this is a time for families to be together.

But that's not true for you. You won't ever have your family together again - at least not like it was. You won't always be able to spend the holidays with your kids because now you'll be taking turns with your ex.

And yet the holidays can still be magical for you. It will just take a bit of effort and a shift or two in perspective.

Look, I didn't believe my first holidays post-divorce would be anything but horrible either. I was wrong though. I wound up having a great holiday season and here are the three things I did to take the horrible out of my holidays.

1. Accept the invitations (at least some of them) from your friends and extended family.I thought I would be alone and forgotten for the holidays because I felt completely forgettable. On the other hand, I didn't want to have a bunch of pity invitations either. But my friends and family reached out to me and showered me…
   

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Is It OK To Be Dating During Divorce?

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August 11, 2015

My answer just might surprise you!

One of the loneliest times of your life is when you're getting divorced. One moment you're living with someone, having daily casual contact with someone you believe loves you.

And the next...you're on your own.

Sure, the kids and the pets may still be living with you (at least occasionally), but that's entirely different from sharing your life with a partner.

It can take a really long time to get your divorce legally finalized and the loneliness of being on your own can feel crippling. So it's only natural to be curious about dating. (You're probably also wondering if you're still lovable and attractive too, but that's a topic for another post.)

Unless the divorce laws where you live or the circumstances of your divorce would penalize you for dating before your divorce is finalized, casual dating before your divorce is final could be a great thing for you to do. That is IF you keep the following in mind:

1. Dating has changed since the last time you were out there.I don't know about you, but I sure didn't find my first husband online. (Although that's exactly how I found my current one.) Yet online dating…
   

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5 Reasons You're An Easy Target Post-Divorce

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October 28, 2015

If you're newly divorced, beware of these 5 ways you're an easy target for users and manipulators.

The prospect of dating after divorce is exciting!

It is also pretty terrifying because women newly back out there are easy targets for players and manipulators.

I felt all the thrill and terror about dating after my divorce and my excitement won - at first.

I married at 19 and didn't have intercourse until my wedding night. When I divorced (after nearly 18 years of marriage) I was totally unprepared for dating. I assumed it would be like it was in high school. Boy! Was I wrong...

Three months after my divorce was final, I fell in love. He just seemed to know me so well. It seemed like we'd known each other forever and I was eager to express my love for him sexually. I won't lie - I had a whole lot of fun doing it!

But things changed when my life got complicated and I needed some emotional support. He disappeared. I naively kept reaching out to him thinking he must be going through a tough time too. He had told me he loved me and I couldn't imagine that he would just vanish.

When I…

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3 Annoying People To Ignore While You’re Getting Divorced

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August 5, 2015

Sometimes those closest to you can be the most annoying when you’re getting divorced.

Divorce is hard. There's absolutely nothing easy about turning your life upside down and inside out. 

Divorce is something most couples stumble into unexpectedly. You just can't prepare yourself for something like that, so when it happens just about everything feels unfamiliar and phony.

Of course you'll ask for help, guidance, or just a strong shoulder to lean on when the going gets tough. But, believe it or not, the very people you're likely to rely on may end up making your divorce even harder than necessary (or, at least, more annoying). So, what's a great tip for getting through divorce well? 

Spend less of your precious time and energy listening to people you're better off ignoring.

You need to focus on making a new "normal" for yourself and your kids, healing from your divorce, and moving on with your life. All things you just can't do if the people in your life bring you down. 

Who are these people you'd do better to ignore? Surprisingly, they're the exact people you usually turn to first:

1. Your ex

Most likely the things your ex is saying sounds like nagging or them trying to control you ("Haven't you talked with your attorney yet?" or…

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