How To Take Charge Of Your Quality Of Life After Divorce

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November 22, 2019

You can beat divorce – if you’re willing to do the work.

The aftermath of divorce can wreak havoc with your heart and play all kinds of tricks with your mind. As if the shock, grief, and change in everything aren’t enough, you also have to worry about your quality of life after divorce. Where will I live? How will I make it financially? Will I spend the rest of my life alone?

The truth can be of little consolation when your life has come unhinged. And yet, there is consolation in the fact that the truth is just that -- the truth. When you feel no stability and no familiarity, you can at least look to that beacon of hope that is steadfast.

And the truth is this: You have more control over your quality of life after divorce than you think you do.

You will have choices to make, however. And you will have to take accountability -- for the past, for the future, and especially for the present. You may not be able to undo your divorce, but you can take charge of your quality of life after divorce. 

The biggest choice you will have to make is who is going to…

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How To Tell The Difference Between A Rebound Relationship And The Real Thing

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August 14, 2019

Knowing the difference could save you from another heartbreak.

Funny thing about being in a rebound relationship: it’s never just the two of you who are in it. There’s always someone else lurking in the corners. Namely, your ex. Maybe even your rebound partner’s ex, too. 

Regardless of who is taking refuge in the rebound relationship, the whole thing is a bit, shall we say, crowded.

You might go into a rebound relationship with both eyes open and both partners willing. You might even think love has swooped in to rescue you from the agony of your recent breakup.

No matter how you enter a rebound relationship, there are several tell-tale signs that will distinguish it from the real thing.

The most distinguishing characteristic of a rebound relationship is that it’s a distraction. It’s a band-aid for your broken heart and all those feelings you haven’t been able to bear to feel since your break-up.

The rebound relationship is all about feeling better and filling the void left by your ex’s removal from your life. It’s about not feeling lonely. Sometimes it’s even about not feeling at all.

The irony of the rebound relationship is that those who are in it truly wantto be…

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The Realities Of Life After Divorce From A Narcissist

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October 2, 2019

Life won’t necessarily be easy, but it can be better.

There was a time when even Aristotle believed that Earth was the center of the solar system. According to this geocentric model, the bright planetary bodies all revolved around us earthlings. The narcissist has a similar take on his or her position in the universe. And anyone who is or has been married to one knows this firsthand. Those who couldn’t last “‘til death do us part” know that even life after divorce from a narcissist is no picnic.

Narcissists, quite frankly, are exhausting. You can never give enough, be enough, do enough, flatter enough to satisfy their inflated sense of self. They need the world to revolve around them, to see them as the biggest, brightest star, and to praise them accordingly. 

It’s understandable, therefore, how narcissism can be problematic in a relationship dynamic that needs equality, collaboration, and empathy in order to thrive. If any one entity in a marriage has the right to be a narcissist, it’s the marriage itself, not the individuals. 

If you are trying to navigate life after divorce from a narcissist, you already know how defeating marriage to one can be. If you are in the throes of separation…

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How To Start Over After Divorce Even If It Seems Impossible

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July 4, 2019

Impossible is only one perspective.

Divorce impacts every facet of your life – how you live, who you are, what you do, when you get to see your kids, and maybe even where you live. So, of course, it’s natural that with all this change you’d feel sad, angry, resentful and uncertain about how to start over after divorce.

Yet, you also know that some people find a gift in all this chaos. They find a way to create an amazing life for themselves after divorce.

Even though, at this exact moment, it seems impossible that you’ll ever feel any better, deep down you know that if other people can figure out how to start over after divorce, you can too.

And you can. You’re not consigned to living with this pain, uncertainty, depression, frustration, anxiety and fear forever. Things can get better.

By following a process, the same process that everyone who’s ever healed and moved on from divorce has followed, you can make things better for you too.

1. Work through your grief.
   
   This is the most difficult part of the process. It will require you to come face-to-face with painful memories and emotions. It is also unpredictable. No one can tell you how…

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