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Life After Divorce

How To Be In A Relationship After Divorce Broke Your Heart

Couple who’s figured out how to be in a relationship despite previous heartbreak.

You’ve worked hard to get over your divorce. Don’t let it get in the way of your future happiness.

Living through the tumultuous end of your marriage is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. And the repercussions of it echo through your life in often surprising ways – and sometimes for a long time after your divorce is a done deal.

One of the most common ways to experience the fallout of divorce long after it’s final is in your new relationships.

So, when you meet someone you really like, it’s natural to wonder how to be in a relationship with them or if you even want to be in a relationship again.

This pause to question whether you want another relationship usually driven by fear. When your heart has been broken by divorce, it’s very difficult to believe that you could ever have a good relationship.

Your struggle with how to be in a relationship again could quite simply be a fear of the past repeating itself. But here’s the thing, the ONLY way this fear is real is if these two things are true:

  1. You’re exactly the same person you were.
  2. Your new love interest is just like your ex.

Now, if…

Read more: How To Be In A Relationship After Divorce Broke Your Heart

Dating – It Is Not Always About Finding That Perfect Person

There are other truly amazing reasons to date besides getting hitched again.

I can’t tell you how many people (especially men) I’ve talked to over the years who begin dating after divorce for the sole purpose of finding “the one.” You know, the person who really will love them for the rest of their lives (unlike their ex who said they would, but didn’t).

The problem is that when recently divorced people approach dating from this perspective they’re setting themselves up for another heartbreak. (Yes, this is the voice of personal experience and of observation.) And, no, it’s not 100% true all of the time, but it’s more true than not.

The reason why starting to date with the goal of finding the perfect person for you is so problematic is because you’re probably not completely you yet.

A bad marriage and divorce takes a toll on you. Over the years you adapted to the situation. And by adapting you’ve probably given up little pieces of yourself here and there.

On top of that most divorces are incredibly painful to go through. Because of the pain, it’s natural to gravitate to people who are caring and kind without much regard for the rest of their personality.…

Read more: Dating – It Is Not Always About Finding That Perfect Person

Divorced? The Tips You Need For How To Trust Someone Again

Woman contemplating leaving her post-divorce protective shell and learning how to trust someone again.

Learning how to trust someone after divorce is tough, but these 7 tips will make it easier for you.

One of the most frequent casualties of divorce is the ability to trust someone again in the same way you trusted your ex. It’s as if you’ve blocked off the most tender and precious part of yourself to avoid being hurt at that deep a level ever again. You want to make sure you never ever leave yourself open to a repeat of that much pain.

And yet learning how to trust someone again is at the core of being able to live a full life after divorce.

That’s because true connection is critical to a fully lived and vibrant life. I’m not talking about the surface kind of connection where you keep your truest thoughts and emotions and even ugly cries to yourself. I’m talking about the kind of connection where you can be 100% unapologetically you with someone and they can be that way with you too.

Learning how to trust someone again after suffering through divorce is challenging to say the least. But luckily some work that Brené Brown published in her book Daring Greatlyprovides a wonderful starting point for discussing and understanding what…

Read more: Divorced? The Tips You Need For How To Trust Someone Again

8 Ways To Finally Stop Wasting Your Time Hating Your Ex

Smart woman who believes hating your ex is a waste of time.

Hating your ex is only hurting you.

You’ve done it! You’ve finally created a post-divorce life for yourself that you love. And honestly, things are absolutely perfect. Well, perfect except for one thing – you still hate your ex.

Hating your ex for a while as you heal from your divorce is part of the process. But when the hatred doesn’t abate despite moving on in every other way, it’s time to re-evaluate the energy you’re continuing to invest in the animosity.

The fact that you still hold such abhorrence toward your ex reflects all the hurt you felt about the end of your marriage and/or your ex’s behavior before, during and after the end. And these are valid reasons to seriously dislike, mistrust, and/or wish your ex would fall off the face of the planet.

But the more time, effort and emotional energy you spend hating your ex, the less time, effort and emotional energy you have for you and your nearly perfect new life. And seriously, your ex doesn’t deserve any more of you, do they?

So now it’s time to put the detestation behind you and stop investing in the past.

Here are 8 tips to help you move on from hating your…

Read more: 8 Ways To Finally Stop Wasting Your Time Hating Your Ex

What You Must Do BEFORE You Start Dating After Divorce

Couple holding hands as they embark on their adventures dating after divorce.

Use these 5 signs to confidently know if you’re ready to start dating again.

How will I know when I’m ready to start dating after divorce? This question is one nearly everyone who divorces eventually asks.

And coming up with an answer to it is complicated by the fact that this question (hopefully) brings up other questions. Is there a difference between dating and a hook up? Where can I find someone to date? What is dating like today? How will my dating impact my kids? And on and on.

Divorce is tumultuous and frightening so it’s normal to have a bunch of questions as you start moving on with your life by deciding if you’re ready to start going out again after divorce.

As confusing and complicated as it is when you first start contemplating whether you’re ready to begin dating after divorce, there are 5 signs you’re ready to get back out there.

  1. You love yourself.Divorce takes a huge toll on your self-esteem. You start to question whether you’re lovable not only by others, but by yourself too. By being able to truly love and care for yourself before you start dating after divorce, you’ll know you’re ready to get back out…

Read more: What You Must Do BEFORE You Start Dating After Divorce