8 Ways To Finally Stop Wasting Your Time Hating Your Ex

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December 5, 2016

Hating your ex is only hurting you.

You’ve done it! You’ve finally created a post-divorce life for yourself that you love. And honestly, things are absolutely perfect. Well, perfect except for one thing – you still hate your ex.

Hating your ex for a while as you heal from your divorce is part of the process. But when the hatred doesn’t abate despite moving on in every other way, it’s time to re-evaluate the energy you’re continuing to invest in the animosity.

The fact that you still hold such abhorrence toward your ex reflects all the hurt you felt about the end of your marriage and/or your ex’s behavior before, during and after the end. And these are valid reasons to seriously dislike, mistrust, and/or wish your ex would fall off the face of the planet.

But the more time, effort and emotional energy you spend hating your ex, the less time, effort and emotional energy you have for you and your nearly perfect new life. And seriously, your ex doesn’t deserve any more of you, do they?

So now it’s time to put the detestation behind you and stop investing in the past.

Here are 8 tips to help you move on from hating your…

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What You Must Do BEFORE You Start Dating After Divorce

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November 7, 2016

Use these 5 signs to confidently know if you’re ready to start dating again.

How will I know when I’m ready to start dating after divorce? This question is one nearly everyone who divorces eventually asks.

And coming up with an answer to it is complicated by the fact that this question (hopefully) brings up other questions. Is there a difference between dating and a hook up? Where can I find someone to date? What is dating like today? How will my dating impact my kids? And on and on.

Divorce is tumultuous and frightening so it’s normal to have a bunch of questions as you start moving on with your life by deciding if you’re ready to start going out again after divorce.

As confusing and complicated as it is when you first start contemplating whether you’re ready to begin dating after divorce, there are 5 signs you’re ready to get back out there.

1. You love yourself.Divorce takes a huge toll on your self-esteem. You start to question whether you’re lovable not only by others, but by yourself too. By being able to truly love and care for yourself before you start dating after divorce, you’ll know you’re ready to get back out…

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Divorced? The Tips You Need For How To Trust Someone Again

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November 21, 2016

Learning how to trust someone after divorce is tough, but these 7 tips will make it easier for you.

One of the most frequent casualties of divorce is the ability to trust someone again in the same way you trusted your ex. It’s as if you’ve blocked off the most tender and precious part of yourself to avoid being hurt at that deep a level ever again. You want to make sure you never ever leave yourself open to a repeat of that much pain.

And yet learning how to trust someone again is at the core of being able to live a full life after divorce.

That’s because true connection is critical to a fully lived and vibrant life. I’m not talking about the surface kind of connection where you keep your truest thoughts and emotions and even ugly cries to yourself. I’m talking about the kind of connection where you can be 100% unapologetically you with someone and they can be that way with you too.

Learning how to trust someone again after suffering through divorce is challenging to say the least. But luckily some work that Brené Brown published in her book Daring Greatlyprovides a wonderful starting point for discussing and understanding what…

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How Long Does It Take To Be Happy Again?

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October 18, 2016

Being happy again isn’t a time thing. It’s a you thing.

One of the most frequently asked questions about divorce recovery is “How long does it take to be happy again?” It’s asked not only as a reflection of what seems like interminable pain, but also because there is so much conflicting information out there about how long it takes! For example, back in 2010, the Daily Mail reported that it takes EXACTLY 17 months and 26 days to get over divorce. Others report that it takes 2 years and still others say that it will take 1 year for every 4 years of marriage.

And you know what? All of these numbers are horribly wrong – at least when it comes to you.

Why? Because no one else has gone through EXACTLY what you’ve gone and are going through and no one else has your EXACT personality.

Yup, your personality has a lot to do with how long it takes you to feel happy again post-divorce.

Are you someone who carries a lot of negative emotion? Do you dwell on unanswerable questions about the past: “What if…” or “If only…”? Are your fears controlling your life? Do you doubt that you’ll ever be happy again?…

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