July 25, 2012
In just 11 days Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise reached a divorce settlement.
For most of us, the thought of reaching an agreement with our former spouse in just 11 days seems like a fantasy. How were they able to do it so quickly? From what I can tell there are two major factors that allowed the actors to reach such a rapid agreement.
First, they entered into their marriage from a standpoint of starting a business together. Despite Tom’s use of Oprah’s couch as a trampoline when he announced his love for Katie, their marriage wasn’t just a romantic notion. They realized that marriage is actually a legal agreement much like a business partnership. Katie and Tom worked with lawyers to cover the possible contingency of their partnership not working and so had a prenuptial agreement that was very solid. This business approach to their marriage removed a good portion of what they could have spent time arguing about during their negotiations.
Second, they each know that Suri needs both of her parents. Despite how they may feel about each other, they apparently respect the other as their daughter’s parent and know they will need to have regular contact with each other to effectively parent…
Read more: Straight From the Headlines!
May 25, 2012
Time is one of those concepts that we all get, but is difficult to define. It’s a marker that allows us to separate past, present, and future.
Why bother discussing time? Because, I agree with Alan Lakein who is credited with saying, “Time = Life, therefore, waste your time and waste your life, or master your time and master your life.”
When we go through divorce, it’s so very, very, very easy to get caught up in either the past or the future instead of being here, now.
We can get caught up in the past by thinking things like, “If only s/he would have told me they weren’t happy, I know we wouldn’t be getting divorced now.” We might even think things like, “I knew before I got married that I shouldn’t marry him/her.” This was one of the thoughts that I had when I was going through my divorce. It was the truth, but it didn’t do any good. The fact was that I had gone ahead and gotten married despite what my gut was telling me. Spending time thinking about a decision I had made YEARS ago wasn’t making the situation any better. It wasn’t helping me to deal with what…
Read more: Life Is What’s Happening Now