Unhappy Marriage?

How To Escape A Miserable Marriage

Unhappy man looking out a window wondering how he can escape his miserable marriage.

It’s time to make a plan.

The vision of marriage is all about diving into life’s riches together. When you’re dating, you can’t get enough of one another. When you’re walking down the aisle, you see only the good that lies ahead. Nowhere in this fairytale is there a chapter on how to escape a miserable marriage. You don’t need it because...well, you just don’t need it. Your love, after all, is perfect. He’s perfect. She’s perfect. And love conquers all.

OK, hypnosis over. Back to reality. Even the most jaw-dropping carriage can be a glitzy cover for a rotting pumpkin. Bippity-boppity-boo doesn’t guarantee forever.

The first reality check is acknowledging (and preparing for) the fact that marriage isn’t all about holding hands and skipping through fields of gold. It’s work. Hard work. But hopefully the kind of work that is entered into with a vision toward personal and relational growth.

That’s why emotional maturity and a commitment to developing good communication skills is imperative. Without them, you will be more likely to see boredom, fighting, and periods of loneliness as signs that you made a mistake.

There are several shades of red in the red-flag category. Your marriage may simply be going through…

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How To Decide If Your Marriage Is Just Unhealthy Or Completely Toxic

Unhappy man contemplating whether his marriage is unhealthy or toxic.

If you’ve ignored the early signs, your unhealthy marriage might have become toxic.

Every relationship has its emotional ebbs and flows. And locking in your commitment through marriage doesn’t guarantee steady waters for life. When boredom sets in or tempers flare, you may start wondering what happened to your fairytale utopia. What if I made the wrong choice? What if our marriage is unhealthy? What if the person I married isn’t really the person I married?

Even the best of marriages navigate predictable stages. No one can remain saturated in those stimulating, excitable romance hormones forever. At some point, couples have to live, return to work, raise children, deal with crises, see family and friends.

Ask the experts and they will tell you there are as few as three and as many as twelve stages of love. The number is less important than the message: love evolves. It is no more static than your feelings, preferences, and hairstyles are static.

But that doesn’t mean love can’t be steady and sustained. And, when the question of whether a marriage is unhealthy arises, it’s important to return to this awareness. How do you know if your healthy marriage has become unhealthy? And, worse yet, how do you know if…

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How To Fix An Unhealthy Marriage And Get That Loving Feeling Back

Married couple hugging under a tree after discovering how to fix an unhealthy marriage.

Yes, it is possible.

Considering how important relationships are, it’s amazing, really, how often people expect them to simply take care of themselves. Even more so when a relationship has gone the next step to marriage. It seems too many couples forget to focus on the constancy of effort required to make a marriage thrive. They do the upfront work of love to get to marriage. But eventually, they find themselves wondering how to fix an unhealthy marriage.

Recommended Reading: 3 Definite Signs You Should Get A Divorce

Once a marriage has eroded to the point of being unhealthy, the idea of falling back in love may seem unattainable. Figuring out how to fix an unhealthy marriage — assuming it’s fixable — is one thing. Getting back into the groove of “that loving feeling” may just be too much to ask.

Or is it? 

Consider that 42-45% of first marriages end in divorce, and that percentage increases with each subsequent marriage. 

What is it about walking down the aisle that makes those early-love dreams so vulnerable to destruction? Do people not know how to pick the right partners? Do they not know how to be the right partners? Do they take each other…

Read more: How To Fix An Unhealthy Marriage And Get That Loving Feeling Back

What Is Unhealthy Communication In Marriage?

Couple sitting by a fire who aren’t speaking because of unhealthy communication in their marriage.

Once you know what it is, you’ll be able to begin making your marriage better.

The joy of falling in love is usually – at least in part – rooted in the natural ease of communication with one another. You have so much in common. You think so much alike. You resolve your disagreements seemingly before they happen. You say please, thank you, and I’m sorry. You listen, care, avoid judgment, and put one another first. But somewhere along the line unhealthy communication in marriage starts to eat away at your relationship. 

It’s insidious and doesn’t always have a clear beginning. But if you don’t wake up and recognize it, it will definitely have a clear end. 

If healthy communication is the glue that holds happy marriages together, then unhealthy communication in marriage can be the relationship’s unraveling.

Think about people and things you hold in high esteem. A work of art, a musician, an actor, a surgeon – they can all leave you in awe. But why? What makes you revere, applaud, respect one entity over another?

Chances are it has something to do with how effortlessthe execution of quality seems. When you are in the presence of “masters,” you don’t have to…

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How To Know If You Need To Stay In Your Miserable Marriage Or Divorce

Woman sitting on her bed wondering if she should stay in her miserable marriage or divorce.

Here are some ideas that can help you make the right decision for you.

Deciding whether to stay in your miserable marriage or divorce isn’t the no-brainer you might think. There are so many factors to consider, not the least of which is the nature and degree of your “misery” itself. Throw in children, finances, length of marriage, religion and other influencers, and your decision just got tougher.

When you feel paralyzed by a seemingly impossible decision, it’s only natural to want a superpower force to swoop in with the answer. But we all know that rarely happens. And when faced with the decision to stay in your miserable marriage or divorce, you are likely to get more questions than answers. Even Glenda the Good Witch would point her starred wand at your feet and remind you that the answer lies within you. 

In other words, you got yourself into this marriage. >You have to do the painful work of deciding whether and how to stay in it. Help is always available for those who seek it. But only you can decide to accept it.

(However, there are certain circumstances that demand you divorce. Find out what those are in this article: How To Know When…

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