- October 12, 2020
It’s time for a reality check.
You walk down the aisle expecting eternal bliss, even though you know better. You eventually settle into more realistic expectations, learning as you go that happiness evolves and deepens in meaning with life’s challenges. But sometimes there is a harsh reality check: You’re unhappy with marriage and depressed.
You may not know which came first or if one is causing the other. When and how did I become unhappy? Is my spouse unhappy, too? Is this depression a result of my unhappy marriage, or is it somehow fueling the unhappiness in my marriage?
Despite the futility you may feel, your questions have merit. And doing the uncomfortable work of answering them could be the difference between saving your marriage and health...and not.
The interconnectedness of being unhappy with marriage and depressed has research to back it up. Each component – marital dissatisfaction and depression (and anxiety) – can affect the other. And the task incumbent upon the suffering spouse(s) is to figure out if one factor is giving rise to or exacerbating the other.
When you’re unhappy in a relationship, you may be so aware of your emotional unrest that you don’t realize the physical and mental unrest…
Read more: What To Do If You’re Unhappy With Your Marriage & Depressed
- June 18, 2020
If you’ve ignored the early signs, your unhealthy marriage might have become toxic.
Every relationship has its emotional ebbs and flows. And locking in your commitment through marriage doesn’t guarantee steady waters for life. When boredom sets in or tempers flare, you may start wondering what happened to your fairytale utopia. What if I made the wrong choice? What if our marriage is unhealthy? What if the person I married isn’t really the person I married?
Even the best of marriages navigate predictable stages. No one can remain saturated in those stimulating, excitable romance hormones forever. At some point, couples have to live, return to work, raise children, deal with crises, see family and friends.
Ask the experts and they will tell you there are as few as three and as many as twelve stages of love. The number is less important than the message: love evolves. It is no more static than your feelings, preferences, and hairstyles are static.
But that doesn’t mean love can’t be steady and sustained. And, when the question of whether a marriage is unhealthy arises, it’s important to return to this awareness. How do you know if your healthy marriage has become unhealthy? And, worse yet, how do you know if…
Read more: How To Decide If Your Marriage Is Just Unhealthy Or Completely Toxic