How To Answer The Question ‘Is My Marriage Over?’

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September 23, 2016

You can confidently and without regret answer this question for yourself.

One of the most difficult questions you’ll ever ask yourself is "Is my marriage over?" It’s rarely a simple yes or no that you can confidently offer as a response. (There are some circumstances when you should immediately choose to divorce, but, thankfully, people dealing with those situations usually already know they need to end their marriage.)

You’ll struggle with this question for several reasons.

"Is my marriage over?" is a highly emotionally charged question. Your emotions ping pong between upset, sadness, fear, worry, nostalgia and a whole host of others as you struggle to figure out your answer. And when your emotions are so strongly engaged it’s almost impossible to think clearly.

The stakes are high when you begin asking this question. You’re facing a fork in the road. Either you stay or you go. There’s no in-between.

Although you’re asking yourself ‘Is my marriage over?’, the truth is that your answer will impact many more people than just you. Obviously, your spouse and kids (and pets) will be deeply affected by what you choose. But so will your family, your spouse’s family, and your friends. It’s a whole lot of…

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Do This To Save Your Marriage From The Ravages of Parenthood

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August 8, 2016

Regular communication about these topics could save your marriage and your family.

I’m reminded daily that most people are fairly naïve about all kinds of things when they start their married life together. Very few find life follows any kind of a simple plan (like living happily ever after) – especially when they have kids.

For example, a few months ago I received an anguished email from a man whose wife wanted a divorce because she felt manipulated into having their two children. What little he told me was heartbreaking as he spoke about how much he loved his wife and kids and how horrified he was by the prospect of divorce.

Last year I heard the story of a woman who filed for divorce. What pushed her over the edge was discovering that her husband had urinated all over their children’s bathroom – and by all over I mean the walls, floor, bathtub, sink – everywhere. He was making a statement about feeling ignored.

And then we’ve all heard stories of couples who stay together for the sake of the kids. Almost as soon as they drop their youngest off at university, they get divorced because they haven’t been happy together for years.

Children are…

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A Little Emotional Detachment Could Save Your Unhappy Marriage

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September 7, 2016

Use a little emotional detachment to prevent fights with your honey from destroying you.

We’ve all had them – those epic battles with our spouse that leave us shattered and questioning why we’re still with them.

As much as you dreamed of your marriage being different (and maybe even better) than those marriages you observed growing up, the reality now is that your marriage is pretty much the same as those other ones. The rosy glow of new love has worn off and you’ve discovered that your road to “happily ever after” has a few pot holes in it.

Yeah, pot holes are a euphemism for those epic battles that seem to be part and parcel of your marriage.

Fights between a married couple are so horrible at times for four big reasons.

1. Spouses know each other better than anyone else. Remember when you first fell in love and would spend hours talking? Well, that’s how you first got to know each other so well. Then as you spent more and more time together you learned more and more about each other.
   
   This deep familiarity between the two of you makes every argument more hurtful because of the underlying assumption of trust to care for…
   

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Happy Wife, Happy Life: Here's How To Make Her Happy

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August 2, 2016

Just be her friend.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” The problem is it’s hard (and it can feel impossible) to know what makes her happy because, let’s face it, we women are way different from you guys.

What I want you to know is that your heart is obviously in the right place. (If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be reading this.) You just need to stop assuming that your wife thinks like you do. (And us ladies need to stop assuming you think like we do too.)

And yet it’s natural to think that your spouse thinks like you do. After all it sure seemed like you did when you first fell in love, right?

Well, here’s the thing, after all of the love potion wears off and you start living your real lives as husband and wife you stop being hyper-focused on each other. And when you stop being hyper-focused you stop thinking alike because other things, people, events and experiences now claim some (or maybe most) of your attention.

Hopefully, you’re getting the idea that it’s going to take a little work on your part to get things turned around in your marriage to the…

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