Do This To Save Your Marriage From The Ravages of Parenthood

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August 8, 2016

Regular communication about these topics could save your marriage and your family.

I’m reminded daily that most people are fairly naïve about all kinds of things when they start their married life together. Very few find life follows any kind of a simple plan (like living happily ever after) – especially when they have kids.

For example, a few months ago I received an anguished email from a man whose wife wanted a divorce because she felt manipulated into having their two children. What little he told me was heartbreaking as he spoke about how much he loved his wife and kids and how horrified he was by the prospect of divorce.

Last year I heard the story of a woman who filed for divorce. What pushed her over the edge was discovering that her husband had urinated all over their children’s bathroom – and by all over I mean the walls, floor, bathtub, sink – everywhere. He was making a statement about feeling ignored.

And then we’ve all heard stories of couples who stay together for the sake of the kids. Almost as soon as they drop their youngest off at university, they get divorced because they haven’t been happy together for years.

Children are…

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Speak Up To Save Your Unhappy Marriage

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June 27, 2016

Honest and respectful communication could be the key to saving your marriage.

We’ve all done it. We’ve kept our mouths shut (sometimes only by clenching our jaws) when everything inside of us is screaming to let our spouse know what we’re feeling and/or thinking.

There are times when you just don’t want to open the can of worms that saying “I think you’re an idiot” or “You’ve hurt me so much – again – that I know I’d be better off without you” would blow the lid off of. Really, what good would saying this stuff do?

It probably isn’t obvious yet what good telling your inner-most thoughts to your spouse can do. BUT not telling them only does one thing – guarantees that your marriage becomes unhappy (if it isn’t already).

Now, I’m not advocating that you tell your spouse every fleeting thought and emotion that goes through your head. What I am suggesting is that if you had been truthful about the first time you didn’t understand why your mate did something, you might know they’re not really an idiot for doing it again now. Or if you had told them how much they hurt you when they said or did xyz, you…

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Happy Wife, Happy Life: Here's How To Make Her Happy

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August 2, 2016

Just be her friend.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Happy wife, happy life.” The problem is it’s hard (and it can feel impossible) to know what makes her happy because, let’s face it, we women are way different from you guys.

What I want you to know is that your heart is obviously in the right place. (If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be reading this.) You just need to stop assuming that your wife thinks like you do. (And us ladies need to stop assuming you think like we do too.)

And yet it’s natural to think that your spouse thinks like you do. After all it sure seemed like you did when you first fell in love, right?

Well, here’s the thing, after all of the love potion wears off and you start living your real lives as husband and wife you stop being hyper-focused on each other. And when you stop being hyper-focused you stop thinking alike because other things, people, events and experiences now claim some (or maybe most) of your attention.

Hopefully, you’re getting the idea that it’s going to take a little work on your part to get things turned around in your marriage to the…

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These Two Common Mistakes Will Give You An Unhappy Marriage

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June 20, 2016

Stop making these two mistakes and you’ll have a happier marriage.

It’s absolutely exhausting trying to make your marriage work and keep up with all of your other responsibilities. You feel like you’re in it all alone with no hope of things ever getting better. When you took those vows of for better or worse, you really didn’t think that it would be for worse or you’d probably never have gotten married in the first place.

The good news is not all unhappy marriages need to stay that way. It doesn’t always require your spouse to join in with you from the beginning of your plan to make the marriage better. Sometimes you hold the key to turning everything around if you just stop making two basic mistakes.

But before talking about the two biggest mistakes people make in marriages, it’s important to know what a good marriage is.

A good marriage consists of two whole, happy people who choose marriage. You can think of these two happy people as each existing in a separate circle. These separate circles are inside of another circle which represents their marriage. Together these individuals focus on building their marriage.

Most married couples have children. By becoming parents, the couple…

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