How To Know When You MUST Get A Divorce

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September 11, 2017

Even when everybody else thinks it should be obvious to you, it rarely is.

As confusing as it is for most people to decide if they need to get a divorce or not, there are three situations that require you get a divorce if you (and your kids) are to live a healthy life.

1. Your spouse has an addiction that they refuse to get treatment for despite your repeated requests.
2. Your spouse is abusing you or your children.
3. Your marriage is a horrible example for your children AND you’re willing to let your spouse parent the kids on their own.

If you’re not in one of these situations, it can seem pretty clear cut that these marriages need to end.

The trouble is that if you’re in one of them, it’s not nearly so easy. These situations usually develop over time. It’s like the story of the frog in the pot, things change gradually over time and you don’t really notice how bad things really are. You need someone looking in from the outside to give you a different perspective.

Unfortunately, you probably don’t have anyone who can look at your marriage with an unbiased eye because they’ve watched the gradual change in your marriage too.…

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5 Reasons Staying Together For The Kids Is The WORST Idea Ever

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May 2, 2017

Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?

Deciding if divorce is the best solution to the troubles you’re facing in your marriage is never easy.

In fact, it’s gut wrenching.

You’ve invested years in building a life together and the thought of starting over really isn’t appealing. It’s frightening!

But you’re not happy. You know you deserve happiness and so does your spouse.

And your kids deserve it too … especially your kids.

That’s the biggest problem: Your kids deserve happiness.

And right now, your belief is that they will never be happy if you get divorced.

Many couples decide that they can’t divorce because of their children. They believe that their kids deserve to grow up in an intact family, and that anything less will destroy them.

These couples choose to remain mired in their miserable marriages, for the sake of the kids.

Unfortunately, choosing martyrdom for the kids is a really bad decision.

If you choose to stick things out just for your kids, you can expect to face a number of problems.

Here are five reasons to reconsider staying together for the kids:

1. Your kids will learn that marriage is about separateness, not togetherness.
   
   By staying together for their sake, you’ll be teaching them…
   

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4 Simple Tips For Preventing Divorce

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June 2, 2017

Although there are no guarantees, these tips could make all the difference.

Every day people tell me stories of their struggles with learning that their spouse wants a divorce (or is at least strongly considering it). These people struggle because divorce is the last thing they want.

They know that although it takes two people to decide to get married, it only takes one to decide to divorce and that they desperately want to change their spouse’s mind. And so they ask me, “How can I save my marriage?”

The first thing I do when these people ask me for help is to let them know that the only way to have a shot at fixing things is to look at themselves – not their spouse – and get into action. Then I share the fact that even if they do get into action and follow my advice perfectly, there’s no guarantee they’ll be able to save their marriage. Finally, I tell them that if they don’t at least try, they’re almost certainly headed for divorce.

And for those people, like you, who are brave enough to look at themselves and do their absolute best to save their marriage, I give them the following advice.

1. Focus…

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How Does An Unhappy Marriage Affect You?

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March 13, 2017

It’s pretty scary what the stress of a bad marriage can do to you.

You got married because you fell in love and had dreams of living happily ever after. But somewhere along the way marital bliss turned to marital blah or worse.

You might even occasionally toy with the idea of calling it quits or half-heartedly attempt to work on your marriage. Instead of making any significant changes, what you end up doing is staying. You stick it out because the thought of doing anything different is just too big to deal with.

It might seem like this is the path of least resistance, but did you know the impact of your unhappy marriage is greater – a lot greater – than just feeling meh about your spouse? The stress of a bad marriage affects you physically, mentally and emotionally.

How does an unhappy marriage affect you physically?

• Weakens your immune system (source)
• Wounds are slower to heal (source)
• Increases you blood pressure (source)
• Increases your cholesterol (source)
• Makes you gain weight (source)
• Puts you at an increased risk for heart disease, cancer, arthritis, type 2 diabetes, osteoporosis, and arterial calcification (source)
• Causes digestive disorders (source)
• Causes hormone imbalance (source)
• Causes poor sleep (source)
• Shrinks your brain…

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