January 22, 2016
Non-sexual touch is extremely powerful (healing to both bodies AND relationships)
We've all heard communication is key to a thriving relationship and we we put extra effort into learning how to speak and listen to our partners with as much compassion and love as possible.
But the truth is that effective communication, the kind that really divorce-proofs a marriage, takes a whole lot more than paying attention to the words we use. Some researchers have said that non-verbal communication counts for 70-90% of the information expressed.
One of the best non-verbal means of communication for spouses to share is ... touch.
And one of the most pleasurable forms of touch is massage. Massage releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin and reduces stress-related hormones like adrenocorticotropin. Massage also increases intimate connection. Skin-to-skin contact communicates a lot - even if the skin-to-skin contact is hand-to-hand or even hand to foot.
Massage is also pleasurable for both partners because it allows them each to focus on the shared goals of relaxation, connection and intimacy.
Several years ago, intrigued about the benefits of massage, I decided to earn my massage license. I've discovered first-hand that couples can share massages that aren't full body or require a massage table and yet are…
Read more: Can A Massage Per Day Help Keep Divorce Away? (Yes, Seriously)
December 18, 2015
Don't beat around the bush when asking for divorce.
Sheila had been thinking about it for months and she had talked to her girlfriends about it. They were shocked by her admission — she wasn't sure she loved her husband Jeff any more.
Her friends were shocked because, even after all these years, Jeff seemed to be hopelessly in love with her. But.she just wasn't hopelessly in love with him anymore. She'd made her decision; she was going to tell Jeff she wanted a divorce.
This weekend was their twentieth anniversary and they had plans to take a long weekend at a resort without their children. Sheila reasoned that because the resort would be a relaxing setting, they would be alone, and it would provide the time they both needed to talk about divorce.
Their first evening at the resort, they had reservations at a romantic restaurant on the property. After the wine was served, Sheila told Jeff she wanted a divorce. She chose to tell him this first night so they would have plenty of time to talk about the details of the divorce. What she hadn't planned on was Jeff's shock and confusion when she told him her news. After a bit of a…
Read more: Getting Divorced? Don't Be Nice