June 26, 2015
Your partner isn’t the problem, sweetheart … YOU are.
A marriage takes work — lots of it — and from each spouse. And the rewards for your effort are: happiness, contentment, peace, and, of course, loving and feeling loved.
But, what happens when you begin to question whether the hard work is worth it? What happens when the bad times significantly outweigh the good (and have for a long time)? The rewards suddenly seem more like a pipe dream than a reality.
What usually happens once someone reaches this point is … they blame their spouse.
They blame their spouse for being a sorry, excuse for a mate and they fuel their resentment of their spouse with fantasies about divorce.
But, whoa ... wait a minute. Let's back this divorce train up for just a moment. True, being married takes work, but it's nothing compared to the effort and work that divorce requires. Getting and then being divorced is at least ten times more frustrating and infuriating than the common annoyances of marriage. Once the marriage ends, you and your spouse become straight up adversaries, who must now come to some kind of agreement about: child custody, parenting, finances, and possessions. And there's nothing easy about that.
Also, you don't just get…
Read more: 5 Brutal Signs You Are One Seriously LOUSY Spouse
August 19, 2013
The ability to compromise is one of the requirements for a successful long-term relationship. Although when the relationship ends, it’s pretty common to realize that what you were calling compromise really wasn’t. You discover you were giving in or giving up for the sake of keeping the peace or being a wonderful partner. In essence, you lost and your partner won.
If someone wins and someone loses, it’s not compromise. It’s a contest and there’s a score.
Although we’re taught to be good sports when we’re kids – you know be a gracious winner and a good sport about losing – I don’t know anyone who likes to lose again and again and again. That’s because continually losing in a contest can lead us to think that we’re less than our opponent. When our opponent is our partner, it’s a recipe for disaster. They start to also believe that we’re less than they are and treat us that way. Then, we start resenting them and lose a little piece of ourselves every time we stuff our thoughts and feelings for the sake of “compromise”.
Compromise isn’t about always doing what someone else expects or wants. Compromise in a relationship is about two people who respect…
Read more: Compromise Isn’t A Contest