Unhappy Marriage?

Getting Divorced? Don't Be Nice

Man sitting on a bench and holding his head while struggling getting divorced.

Don't beat around the bush when asking for divorce.

Sheila had been thinking about it for months and she had talked to her girlfriends about it. They were shocked by her admission — she wasn't sure she loved her husband Jeff any more.

Her friends were shocked because, even after all these years, Jeff seemed to be hopelessly in love with her. But.she just wasn't hopelessly in love with him anymore. She'd made her decision; she was going to tell Jeff she wanted a divorce.

This weekend was their twentieth anniversary and they had plans to take a long weekend at a resort without their children. Sheila reasoned that because the resort would be a relaxing setting, they would be alone, and it would provide the time they both needed to talk about divorce.

Their first evening at the resort, they had reservations at a romantic restaurant on the property. After the wine was served, Sheila told Jeff she wanted a divorce. She chose to tell him this first night so they would have plenty of time to talk about the details of the divorce. What she hadn't planned on was Jeff's shock and confusion when she told him her news. After a bit of a…

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3 Ways To Make It Through The Holidays When Your Marriage Is Over!

Couple decorating the tree with their daughter despite their marriage being over.

It's time to suck it up, for the kids!

It's the holidays and you think your marriage is over. (Unfortunate timing, right?)

This is supposed to be a time when families come together. When they feel especially loving and close. Except that's not what you're feeling. Being close to your spouse is definitely not what you want. You're done. You've tried and tried, but it hasn't worked. You're through and it's over.

But you can't just drop the bomb that you want a divorce - not now at least. You'd "ruin" the holidays for everyone if you did. You want your kids to experience the magic of the season - not the fear and uncertainty of their parents getting divorced.

So you've chosen to tough it out just a little longer - just until the holidays are over, then you can have the conversation that you're simultaneously dreading and yearning for.

Toughing it out will be tough! This is not an easy decision or an easy path to take. You're asking a lot of yourself and you'll probably find yourself in lots of uncomfortable situations as the season progresses. But you're also giving your children a wonderful gift - one last holiday season with their…

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6 Tough Questions You Must Ask BEFORE Leaving Your Marriage

Leaving your marriage changes everything.

There's no EASY way to know when to leave, but there is an easier way.

At one time or another, almost every married person I know (including my husband and me) has questioned whether or not to call it quits.

It's an incredibly painful question to ask yourself because the only way to answer it is to dig down deep, way past the superficial hurts.

And for most of us, there's no black and white answer about whether you're ready to leave your marriage or not.

There are just too many things to weigh and consider as you figure out what's best for you (and your kids).

At its heart, your question is really about values, respect and what you fundamentally want for your life. (No one besides you will know how to answer this question for you.)

However, sometimes by looking at your marriage from different angles, you can gain clarity.

Here are six key questions to consider as you determine the larger question of whether you're ready to end your marriage, work to make it better, or just accept it as it is:

1. How is your sex life?


Sex is an important part of marriage. At its best, sex is a baring…

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The 5 Things Women Want From Their Man

Man and woman hugging as he kisses her forehead.

You might be surprised at how familiar these 5 things are.

Most men see women as being completely different from them and therefore almost impossible to understand - much less please.

It's this great divide in understanding that keeps many men from having the relationship they really want with their woman (and their woman really wants with them) - a great one!

In an effort to help relationships everywhere, I'm going to let you in on the biggest secret we women seem to have. I'm going to tell you exactly what we want from a man. (Well, at least what most of us want.)

  1. A man she can be proud of and respects

    You being comfortable and confident in your own skin and in any situation is important to her. She will be showing you off to her family and friends and you definitely want that to go well. (Note: confident and cocky are two very different things.)

    You must have ambition. Not necessarily ambition to rule the world, but ambition to do something important because that shows commitment, discipline, a strong work ethic, and an ability to dream.

    She will always be proud of a man who is well-groomed. That doesn't mean…

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6 Reasons Happy Couples DO Go To Bed Angry (On Purpose!)

Fighting late into the night is just disaster waiting to happen.

Sometimes what we take as common sense is really just a bunch of pie-in-the-sky crap! I call it crap because it's too idealistic or just ignorant of how people's minds and bodies really work.

For example, take the whole idea that a couple should never go to bed angry.

Now, I'll be honest with you, I used to believe that this was a great rule to live by. But that was back when I was in a relationship that lacked passion - including the passion to argue.

These days I'm in a much more vibrant relationship and know without a doubt that if we didn't go to bed angry we'd still be arguing about some stupid thing that happened three years ago. (Yeah, we're both stubborn enough that we just might be.)

Going to bed angry is actually great for our relationship because things usually look completely different in the morning.

When the alternative is a sleepless or nearly sleepless night going to bed angry is best for most relationships. The reason is that sleepiness from staying up to argue can actually make things a whole lot worse.

How does sleepiness make arguments…

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