6 Tough Questions You Must Ask BEFORE Leaving Your Marriage

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October 30, 2015

There's no EASY way to know when to leave, but there is an easier way.

At one time or another, almost every married person I know (including my husband and me) has questioned whether or not to call it quits.

It's an incredibly painful question to ask yourself because the only way to answer it is to dig down deep, way past the superficial hurts.

And for most of us, there's no black and white answer about whether you're ready to leave your marriage or not.

There are just too many things to weigh and consider as you figure out what's best for you (and your kids).

At its heart, your question is really about values, respect and what you fundamentally want for your life. (No one besides you will know how to answer this question for you.)

However, sometimes by looking at your marriage from different angles, you can gain clarity.

Here are six key questions to consider as you determine the larger question of whether you're ready to end your marriage, work to make it better, or just accept it as it is:

1. How is your sex life?

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Sex is an important part of marriage. At its best, sex is a baring…

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Unhappy Marriage? Here's How to Make It Better (Part 2)

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September 4, 2015

After you know what you want, it's time to start laying the foundation to make your unhappy marriage happy.

As I mentioned in Part 1, if you're in an unhappy marriage you're probably feeling trapped and hopeless.

But you can create some hope that things will get better. All you need to do is create your idea of what "happily ever after" means to you now and everyday find one thing that's good about your marriage.

(If you haven't read Part 1 yet, you can read it here.)

Now that you know what you want from your marriage, you can start laying the foundation for your new "happily ever after". Begin by asking yourself what would you have to do to get it if you really want to change your unhappy marriage to a happy one.

My guess is you'll discover these 5 areas (connection, caring, congruence, competence, and freedom) are the most critical for you to take action in.

1. Connection - Of all our relationships, our intimate relationship has the most impact on our happiness. We all have a deep-seated need for connection. It's one of the things that makes us human. According to Brendon Burchard in The Charge, "Our desire to bond and belong outweighs…
   

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6 Reasons Happy Couples DO Go To Bed Angry (On Purpose!)

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September 28, 2015

Fighting late into the night is just disaster waiting to happen.

Sometimes what we take as common sense is really just a bunch of pie-in-the-sky crap! I call it crap because it's too idealistic or just ignorant of how people's minds and bodies really work.

For example, take the whole idea that a couple should never go to bed angry.

Now, I'll be honest with you, I used to believe that this was a great rule to live by. But that was back when I was in a relationship that lacked passion - including the passion to argue.

These days I'm in a much more vibrant relationship and know without a doubt that if we didn't go to bed angry we'd still be arguing about some stupid thing that happened three years ago. (Yeah, we're both stubborn enough that we just might be.)

Going to bed angry is actually great for our relationship because things usually look completely different in the morning.

When the alternative is a sleepless or nearly sleepless night going to bed angry is best for most relationships. The reason is that sleepiness from staying up to argue can actually make things a whole lot worse.

How does sleepiness make arguments…

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I Stopped Sleeping With My Husband To Save My Marriage

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August 28, 2015

Happy couples make their own rules!

The idea that "opposites attract" is cute in the beginning of relationships, but once you're married or together long-term, those differences soon drive you mad.

My husband and I are certainly a case of opposites attract — especially when it comes to sleeping. He's a night owl, who loves to steal the covers and roll all over the bed, without regard for whom he's rolling over. I'm an early bird, who loves to sleep in a neat bed with tight sheets in a dark, quiet room.

When we first moved in together, he installed a ceiling-mounted TV stand in our bedroom. This TV stand seemed a bit extreme to me, but I laughed it off because I loved him AND I thought he'll only want to watch a movie in bed once in a while.  

Years later, I wasn't laughing so much. It turns out he had a difficult time falling asleep without watching TV. So we would watch until he fell asleep and then I would turn it off. That's when I could finally get some sleep. I just slept in a little later than I did before he moved in and later than I preferred.

I thought…

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