Unhappy Marriage? Here's How to Make It Better (Part 2)

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September 4, 2015

After you know what you want, it's time to start laying the foundation to make your unhappy marriage happy.

As I mentioned in Part 1, if you're in an unhappy marriage you're probably feeling trapped and hopeless.

But you can create some hope that things will get better. All you need to do is create your idea of what "happily ever after" means to you now and everyday find one thing that's good about your marriage.

(If you haven't read Part 1 yet, you can read it here.)

Now that you know what you want from your marriage, you can start laying the foundation for your new "happily ever after". Begin by asking yourself what would you have to do to get it if you really want to change your unhappy marriage to a happy one.

My guess is you'll discover these 5 areas (connection, caring, congruence, competence, and freedom) are the most critical for you to take action in.

1. Connection - Of all our relationships, our intimate relationship has the most impact on our happiness. We all have a deep-seated need for connection. It's one of the things that makes us human. According to Brendon Burchard in The Charge, "Our desire to bond and belong outweighs…
   

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Looking For Signs You Should Get A Divorce?

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August 18, 2015

If your marriage is like this...you may be looking at the end.

Coming face-to-face with the question "Should I get a divorce?" is one of the most sobering events of a person's life. No matter how you answer the question, your answer will not only change your life, but the lives of your spouse and kids too. There's just a lot to consider in trying to answer this question.

So it makes sense to search for some guidance on how to make this critical decision. This is one of those moments in life when it's WISE to ask for help. (I sure did when I started thinking about divorce.)

Unless you or your kids are being abused by your spouse, your spouse has untreated addictions, or the example of marriage you're providing for your children is horrible, the signs you should get a divorce are generally murky.

The truth is the signs you should get a divorce are often murky because what's a deal breaker for one couple, is just a bump in the road for another.

If you're asking yourself "should I get a divorce" chances are it's more than a bump in the road. BUT, you have to look closely to…

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I Stopped Sleeping With My Husband To Save My Marriage

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August 28, 2015

Happy couples make their own rules!

The idea that "opposites attract" is cute in the beginning of relationships, but once you're married or together long-term, those differences soon drive you mad.

My husband and I are certainly a case of opposites attract — especially when it comes to sleeping. He's a night owl, who loves to steal the covers and roll all over the bed, without regard for whom he's rolling over. I'm an early bird, who loves to sleep in a neat bed with tight sheets in a dark, quiet room.

When we first moved in together, he installed a ceiling-mounted TV stand in our bedroom. This TV stand seemed a bit extreme to me, but I laughed it off because I loved him AND I thought he'll only want to watch a movie in bed once in a while.  

Years later, I wasn't laughing so much. It turns out he had a difficult time falling asleep without watching TV. So we would watch until he fell asleep and then I would turn it off. That's when I could finally get some sleep. I just slept in a little later than I did before he moved in and later than I preferred.

I thought…

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Unhappy Marriage? Here's How to Make It Better (Part 1)

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August 12, 2015

You have more power to change your marriage than you realize.

Living in an unhappy marriage can feel like you're living in a trap. You're stuck in a situation that you wish could be better, but deep down you're afraid that this is as good as it gets.

Most of us marry with some expectation that we and our spouse will always be as attuned to each other as we are when we take our vows. But very few married couples continue dating, flirting and wanting to learn more about each other on a daily basis as they did before they said "I do". And it's perfectly understandable because the reality of married life (and parenthood) are WAY different than the realities of being single and in love.

So, how can you take your unhappy marriage and breathe some happiness into it?

The first step is to get real about what your idea of "happily ever after" is now. It will be different than it was when you got married because now you know what living with your spouse is like, what the daily challenges of running your family and home are, and what trying to live a fulfilling life as an individual within a…

Read more: Unhappy Marriage? Here's How to Make It Better (Part 1)