- August 17, 2019
How to know if what you’re feeling is excessive grief or not.
It’s normal and expected that you will feel grief in divorce. After all, divorce is the end of a way of life and of your dreams. It makes sense that you’d feel sad about it, mourn who you were in your married life and are no more, and be grief-stricken that all of your plans for a happily-ever-after have come to a screeching halt.
It’s even normal for grief in divorce to trigger situational depression and for you to have some seriously uncharacteristic and uncomfortable thoughts.
Dealing with divorce grief is really hard. For most people, it’s a depth of pain they’ve seldom or ever experienced before. And because it’s so unfamiliar, it’s important to know – and be able to recognize – when what you’re experiencing is not typical.
What is normal grief?
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneering grief researcher. She found that there are 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. She also found that no one simply proceeds through each of the stages one after the other.
Grief in divorce is complicated and personal. No one experiences it in exactly the same way.
Chances are you’ll flow through the…
Read more: How Much Grief In Divorce Is Normal?
- May 23, 2019
It’s hard. It sucks. But it’s not impossible.
Divorce is complicated (and it sucks) because you’re faced with seemingly non-stop social, emotional, legal, financial, and the everyday challenges of your new life. Everything changes and not always for the better – at least at first. Of course, all these changes trigger grief which you may think you understand because you’ve grieved before. But overcoming divorce grief is completely different from getting over any other type of grief.
It’s different because you’re constantly reminded of the losses – and there are a lot of things you lose when you divorce. You lose your status as a spouse. You lose time with your kids. You lose the financial means you had together. You lose friends. You lose your dreams for the future.
You lose so very many things that you’ll subtly and obviously be reminded of…
- when you look at your beautiful child and see the resemblance to your ex.
- when you hear someone talking about their spouse and the fun they had over the weekend.
- when you’re struggling to figure out how to make ends meet.
- when you’re home all alone over the weekend and your kids are with their other parent.
- when you see a commercial for…
Read more: Why Overcoming Divorce Grief Is So Freakin’ Hard