Dealing With Grief

7 Signs Of Grief After Divorce

Man hoping to recognize the signs of grief after divorce so he can feel better.

How to find your finish line for dealing with grief after your divorce.

The signs of grief after divorce really aren’t that different than the signs of grief after death or any other major loss.

And that shouldn’t be surprising. Divorce, death and other forms of loss are all permanent departures from what has become your norm, your rhythm...even your security. The unraveling, the unfamiliarity, the aloneness, the emotional upheaval — it can feel like a 24/7 bad dream in a foreign language.

No matter how you got to this point or who did what, divorce sucks. It hurts. It drains. It confuses. And it can even catch one of the spouses off-guard, with no time to plan an emotional response.

While the signs of grief after divorce are listed in a tidy, logical order, your experience won’t be so tidy. Trust me on this one. The stages of grief have minds of their own and a full tank of gas...and they like to take the scenic route! Knowing this as you navigate your divorce experience can save unnecessary heartache when you start recognizing landmarks you thought you already passed.

Let’s explore seven distinct signs of grief after divorce.

If you are in…

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How To Heal Divorce Heartbreak So You Can Move On With Your Life

Learning how to heal divorce heartbreak will require shedding a few tears.

These 13 steps will help you figure out how to heal from divorce heartbreak.

Going through a divorce is one of the most agonizing experiences you’ll ever face. And when you’re going through it, you’ll yearn for answers to your nearly incessant questions:

  • How can I heal my divorce heartbreak?
  • Will I hurt like this forever?
  • Will I ever feel normal again?
  • Can I survive this?

Logically you know that others have been through divorce and survived. So, there must be a way for you to get through it too.

But emotionally, you’re not so sure you’re going to make it.

Yet you will make it.

And although the exact way for you to heal from your divorce heartbreak will be unique to you, there is a general path to follow for your healing and restoration.

The following 13 steps are the most helpful ones for finding your direction as you figure out how to heal divorce heartbreak and feel normal again.

  1. Have compassion for yourself.

    You can’t force, cajole or talk yourself into getting over your divorce. You have to go through it and feel the heartbreak.

    It’s an exhausting process. Your ability to function physically and mentally will decrease dramatically as you wrestle with this…

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The 5 Things You HAVE To Do To FINALLY Get Over Your Break Up

Because it takes more than booze and ice cream to truly heal.

It doesn’t matter if this is the first time or the hundredth time – break ups suck.

Logically, you know you’d never want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you.

But logic isn’t where you go when you get the news that it’s over.

It’s just too shocking! Unbelievable!

How could they dump you after all you’ve done for them? Don’t they realize how much you love them?

You’re indignant.

In a short span of time you’ve already experienced the first two steps of dealing with grief after a break up - shock and anger.

But then something happens – you want to understand why it ended.

You quickly jump to the conclusion it ended because of you. You start thinking that maybe you aren’t good enough, or that you’re unlovable, or that there’s something else fundamentally WRONG with you. It’s the only thing that makes sense – somehow YOU must have screwed up for this amazing person to call it quits.

You start obsessing and over-analyzing your potential faults.

Maybe you ask your ex to tell you what you did to make them dump you so you can change and get the relationship…

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How To Get Through Grief After A Divorce

Woman sitting on the floor by her bed sobbing with grief after a divorce.

Healing from your divorce will teach you a lot about yourself – if you’re willing to learn.

It doesn’t matter which side of the divorce decision you’re on or the reason for the decision. The end of a marriage that began with dreams of happily ever after is heartbreaking.

It’s OK to experience grief after a divorce.

Grief after a divorce is profound because the end of your marriage means your entire life must change – whether you want it to or not.

Grief is also incredibly confusing. One minute you’re feeling hopeful about making a new life for yourself. And the next you’re crushed by the fact that your old way of living is over for good.

Of course, you’re also faced with uncertainty about how you’ll cope with creating new rituals and routines, so your life (and the lives of your children) can run smoothly.

You’re shouldering expanded responsibilities now that you’re on your own. And even having to learn how to do new things so your life can move forward in some fashion instead of simply falling apart.

Divorce means that your relationships change too – all of them. Obviously, your relationship with your former spouse changes. But so do your relationships with…

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5 Tips For Dealing With Anger Due To Grief About Divorce

Peaceful woman who knows the secret to dealing with anger due to grief about divorce.

Finally learning how to deal with your anger in a healthy way is an unexpected benefit of divorce.

Almost everyone who goes through divorce gets angry about it.

Your anger may only register as a sense of frustration, or it may be as overwhelming as rage, or something in between these two extremes. But that doesn’t mean that’s how it will feel tomorrow or even in the next moment.

That’s just how healing from divorce is – one unpredictable emotion after another.

Anger is a normal part of any grieving process and needs constructive expression if you’re going to avoid becoming bitter or enraged because of your divorce.

So, dealing with anger due to grief is definitely a skill you need to learn to get over your divorce.

However, before you can really deal with your anger you need to jettison the baggage about it that you’re carrying around. (Yes, you, like everyone else learned stuff that’s not all that helpful about anger.)

Maybe you believe that anger is bad and shouldn’t be expressed. So anytime you feel the slightest twinge of anger you suppress it. The problem with doing this is that the anger will fester and cause you both physical and psychological problems.

Or maybe…

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