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Dealing With Grief

The 5 Things You HAVE To Do To FINALLY Get Over Your Break Up

Because it takes more than booze and ice cream to truly heal.

It doesn’t matter if this is the first time or the hundredth time – break ups suck.

Logically, you know you’d never want a relationship with someone who doesn’t want you.

But logic isn’t where you go when you get the news that it’s over.

It’s just too shocking! Unbelievable!

How could they dump you after all you’ve done for them? Don’t they realize how much you love them?

You’re indignant.

In a short span of time you’ve already experienced the first two steps of dealing with grief after a break up - shock and anger.

But then something happens – you want to understand why it ended.

You quickly jump to the conclusion it ended because of you. You start thinking that maybe you aren’t good enough, or that you’re unlovable, or that there’s something else fundamentally WRONG with you. It’s the only thing that makes sense – somehow YOU must have screwed up for this amazing person to call it quits.

You start obsessing and over-analyzing your potential faults.

Maybe you ask your ex to tell you what you did to make them dump you so you can change and get the relationship…

Read more: The 5 Things You HAVE To Do To FINALLY Get Over Your Break Up

5 Tips For Dealing With Anger Due To Grief About Divorce

Peaceful woman who knows the secret to dealing with anger due to grief about divorce.

Finally learning how to deal with your anger in a healthy way is an unexpected benefit of divorce.

Almost everyone who goes through divorce gets angry about it.

Your anger may only register as a sense of frustration, or it may be as overwhelming as rage, or something in between these two extremes. But that doesn’t mean that’s how it will feel tomorrow or even in the next moment.

That’s just how healing from divorce is – one unpredictable emotion after another.

Anger is a normal part of any grieving process and needs constructive expression if you’re going to avoid becoming bitter or enraged because of your divorce.

So, dealing with anger due to grief is definitely a skill you need to learn to get over your divorce.

However, before you can really deal with your anger you need to jettison the baggage about it that you’re carrying around. (Yes, you, like everyone else learned stuff that’s not all that helpful about anger.)

Maybe you believe that anger is bad and shouldn’t be expressed. So anytime you feel the slightest twinge of anger you suppress it. The problem with doing this is that the anger will fester and cause you both physical and psychological problems.

Or maybe…

Read more: 5 Tips For Dealing With Anger Due To Grief About Divorce

How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

Woman smiling because she knows you'll get over your divorce.

Use these 3 tips for building your self-confidence and get over your divorce.

Failure. That’s what divorce is. It’s the failure of a marriage.

Divorce is NOT your personal failure. Yet that’s what almost everyone who gets divorced struggles with – the belief that they are now and forever more a failure of the worst kind because their marriage went bust.

Despite knowing the logical fact that it takes two to make a marriage work and two to make it fail, it’s almost impossible not to fall into the trap of believing that somehow you’re more responsible.

And to go along with the guilt about being a failure, you’re probably comparing yourself to all those other people you know who are still married. It’s like you’re piling on misery on top of misery with no way out from underneath the suffocating weight of failure.

What you’re experiencing is normal. However, “normal” doesn’t really help you emerge from the quagmire of self-loathing. So how do you stop beating yourself up? How can you ever believe that you’re not a failure (and that you are worth loving)? By building your self-confidence.

Maybe this answer sounds trivial to you or maybe it sounds impossible. Either way, it’s obvious you’re…

Read more: How To Boost Your Self-Confidence (And Get Over Your Divorce Faster)

How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

Your old life is over. Here's how to start your new one.

When you find out your spouse has filed for divorce, it’s pretty normal to feel disbelief – like there must be some mistake.

There’s no way they would just throw in the towel like that … would they?

Once they confirm that they do want out, you’re overcome with despair.

You wonder if you’ll survive this completely unwanted destruction of your life.

And as reality begins to sink in, your fears start to rise up. In the midst of your despair, you’re overcome with dread because you begin imagining what your life (and your kids’ lives) will become.

All you can see is misery, destruction, and legal bills.

Some of your fears are true.

Divorce will destroy your life, but only the life that was – not the life that’s ahead of you.

And believe it or not, despite how terrifying they are, your fears are actually trying to help you survive your divorce and create a new life for yourself that will really work for you.

Despite the terror they induce, your fears are warnings.

They are the absolute worst-case scenario and alert you to a risk or threat you’re facing that…

Read more: How To Stay Sane When Your Spouse Has Filed For Divorce

How To Deal With Loneliness When You Divorce

Learning how to deal with loneliness can feel like you’re lost and adrift at sea.

These 11 tips will help you escape from the isolation of loneliness after divorce.

Divorce catapults you into a stormy sea of emotions. Anger, disbelief and loneliness are just a few of the overpowering emotions you experience as you deal with the end of your marriage. Learning to deal with each of them is critical to your ability to move on, but learning how to deal with loneliness is one of the most difficult.

Dealing with loneliness is especially challenging because it’s a self-perpetuating emotion. It’s not energizing like anger so you can just work it out of your system by constructively expressing it. And it’s not like disbelief that you can conquer by consistently being presented with facts to the contrary.

Loneliness feeds upon itself. The more you experience it, the greater it becomes and the more difficultly you’ll have conquering it.

Loneliness grows deeper and more profound the more you experience it.

But feeling lonely as you deal with divorce is normal. You’re not really destined to be alone and lonely for the rest of your life – no matter how you feel right now.

“Feel” is a key word here because loneliness is a feeling. It isn’t a fact. And since it’s a feeling, you can…

Read more: How To Deal With Loneliness When You Divorce