Life After Divorce

How To Start Over After Divorce Even If It Seems Impossible

Happy man afloat in his boat who discovered how to start over after divorce.

Impossible is only one perspective.

Divorce impacts every facet of your life – how you live, who you are, what you do, when you get to see your kids, and maybe even where you live. So, of course, it’s natural that with all this change you’d feel sad, angry, resentful and uncertain about how to start over after divorce.

Yet, you also know that some people find a gift in all this chaos. They find a way to create an amazing life for themselves after divorce.

Even though, at this exact moment, it seems impossible that you’ll ever feel any better, deep down you know that if other people can figure out how to start over after divorce, you can too.

And you can. You’re not consigned to living with this pain, uncertainty, depression, frustration, anxiety and fear forever. Things can get better.

By following a process, the same process that everyone who’s ever healed and moved on from divorce has followed, you can make things better for you too.

  1. Work through your grief.

    This is the most difficult part of the process. It will require you to come face-to-face with painful memories and emotions. It is also unpredictable. No one can tell you how…

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Why Rebuilding A Life After Divorce Can Be The Best Thing You’ve Ever Done

Happy woman in a field of sunflowers celebrating successfully rebuilding a life after divorce.

With focus, determination, and courage, you can create an amazing life for yourself.

Divorce is difficult, painful, heartbreaking and so many other unpleasant things. It changes your lifestyle, your parenting, and even your sense of self. It can bring you lower than you’ve ever been before. Yet, if you’re determined and choose to be brave, rebuilding a life after divorce can be one of the best things you’ll ever do.

When you were married you changed.

Over time, all married couples do. They change in big ways and small ways. Some changes are great for the marriage and great for the spouse making them. Others are great for the marriage but hard on the individual.

Chances are you made big changes and small ones during your marriage. Some of those changes were probably good for you and some … not so much.

Recommended Reading: Keeping My Word To My Husband Nearly Destroyed My Life

And it’s those changes that were hard on you that you can now examine as you’re contemplating rebuilding a life after divorce.

Now that you’re divorced, you have the freedom to adjust how you’re living. You don’t have to continue living as you did in your marriage. You don’t have to…

Read more: Why Rebuilding A Life After Divorce Can Be The Best Thing You’ve Ever Done

7 Things To Remember When You’re Feeling Scared Of Life After Divorce

Woman standing by a canal feeling scared of life after divorce.

You can overcome your fears if you learn to listen to them differently.

When the Kansas tornado picked up Dorothy’s house and whisked it off to Munchkinland, she was naturally afraid. Feeling scared of life after divorce isn’t much different, really.

Marriage, with all its imperfections and frustrations, is the thing you “know.” Or at least you think you do. It’s the “Auntie Em,” the point on your compass that you at least recognize. And familiarity is comforting -- even, ironically, when it’s uncomfortable.

Whether or not you wanted to end your marriage, divorce represents the tornado that can wipe out your dreams in one pass. Even if you see it coming, it doesn’t tell you where it’s going to drop you. Or how hard.

It’s only natural to feel scared of life after divorce. To fear being alone. To worry about your kids. To worry about finances. To dread attorneys, courts and fees. To feel angry, hurt, robbed.

The post-divorce rubble can leave you scrambling to find even one thing that represents home and happiness to you. Friendships and family ties get weird, and some disappear altogether. Money is a major issue, and often there is no retirement in place to even cushion…

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The Unvarnished Truth About Life After Divorce For Dads

Man sitting with his sons in his lap realizing that life after divorce for dads can be really good.

You can get through this.

Life after divorce for dads is tough for a multitude of reasons. There’s the grief, anger, hurt, loneliness, and sense of failure. There’s the financial burden of paying for your attorney, and maybe the cost of setting up a new household, spousal maintenance, and child support. And most importantly, life after divorce is tough because you have less time with your kids.

As dismal as all this sounds, by no means is life after divorce for dads a life sentence to this sad state of affairs. This is just where things start out. If you have the courage and will to make your life (and your kids’ lives) better, you can create an amazing life.

Step One: Heal

You must take care of yourself and heal from your divorce. You’ve got to deal with all the uncomfortable emotions that the end of your marriage has stirred up.

It’s only by looking directly at each emotion that engulfs you that you’ll be able to deal with it and put it in its appropriate place. If you don’t work through your feelings about your divorce, you’ll be doomed to carry them with you for the rest of your life. And that will color…

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What To Do If You Find Yourself Saying, “I Hate My Life After Divorce”

Woman crying and thinking, “I hate my life after divorce.”

It’s possible to have a great tomorrow even if today your life after divorce sucks.

Perhaps you wanted your divorce. Perhaps not. Perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps not. But if you are thinking, “I hate my life after divorce,” something has to change. Divorce may be an unexpected reality in your life, but it doesn’t have to be your life’s demise.

Let’s start with some validation -- because if you’re reading this, you are probably in some pain and looking for answers.

Divorce is gut-wrenching. It’s the consummate reversal of things hoped for, things dreamed of, things promised. It rearranges every corner of your life.

It can add therapy bills to your expenses and divide your personal and material assets in ways you couldn’t have imagined. You see your children half as much, your self-esteem takes a hit, and the future can seem non-existent.

Quite frankly, it sucks. And it’s no wonder you’re saying, “I hate my life after divorce.”

But it doesn’t have to stay that way. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s not that train you’re feeling chased by at the moment.

If you find yourself stuck in the pain of your divorce, two reasons may…

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