Sometimes there’s no way to put your feelings into words. Divorce can cast a pretty long shadow over your vision for the future and leave you feeling hopeless. That’s when it’s time to turn to the authors, the poets, and the been-there-survived-it veterans of loss for some uplifting life-after-divorce quotes.
While cleverly crafted proverbs can’t wave a magic wand of healing over your pain, they can offer clarity and food for thought.
Here are 7 uplifting life-after-divorce quotes to get you looking at the positive side of your new life.
- When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start to happen. (Zig Ziglar) We’ve all heard the adage that “you are who you hang around.” And any time spent diving into self-help books will remind you that the people in your life are simply mirrors of yourself.
- If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello. (Paulo Coehlo)
You may be convinced that the end of your marriage spells the end of love for you. But that’s simply not true.
Granted, you may not know how to tell the difference between a rebound relationship and the real thing in the early post-divorce days. But you just may come to the amazing realization that the most important relationship you can have is the one with yourself.
Embracing that self-discovery is a “new hello” that will prepare you to create the life you want. It may or may not involve romance or marriage. But you will be the one making the choice.
Saying goodbye to your marriage is one thing. Saying goodbye to your own ways of thinking and communicating that didn’t serve your relationship is quite another.
It demonstrates a hard-won metamorphosis and a readiness to meet life head-on with confidence and a seasoned self to offer.
- Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life. (J.K. Rowling)
Ahh, when it comes to uplifting life-after-divorce quotes, what better metaphor is there than springing off rock bottom?
Your divorce may be the lowest point in your life so far. But it’s also a solid starting point for changing direction.
The old house has been torn down and it’s time to rebuild...on your terms...to your vision.
Think you can’t pick yourself up out of the rubble of divorce and rebuild your life? Read J.K. Rowling’s rags-to-riches story of life after divorce.
- Sometimes you don’t feel the weight of something you’ve been carrying until you feel the weight of its release. (Unknown)
If you’ve ever carried a heavy knapsack of books on your back, you know how light you feel when you take it off.
You may have walked across campus not giving your books another thought. You tightened your muscles and stood up a little straighter, not thinking about your adjustments for the added weight.
But once you slid that heavy pack off your back, you realized the weight you had been lugging around.
Emotional weight has the same effect. And divorce, despite its long healing process, can be the sliding off of that heavy knapsack.
Suddenly you realize all the adjustments you have made in order to carry the emotional weight in your marriage.
- Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. (Deborah Reber)
Divorce is, above all else, a learning experience. That is, if you choose to learn from it.
You can stay stuck in a crippling sense of failure or harness the lessons life so generously offers in every situation.
You don’t have to spend the rest of your life hating your ex in order to put your marriage behind you.
But, if you’re going to rise above the loss, you will have to own your own contributions to it.
You will also have to own your changes and choices going forward.
After all, you’re the only person you can control. And now you’re in charge of your own life.
- I used to hope that you’d bring me flowers. Now I plant my own. (Rachel Wolchin)
It’s a wonderful, liberating feeling to know that you don’t have to wait for someone else to do nice things for you.
Something as simple as buying flowers can become an indulgence you give yourself just to make yourself feel good. No waiting, hoping, hinting.
And planting flowers in your own yard? Even better!
Of course, flowers are as much a metaphor as a literal reference.
The beauty of your new singlehood is that you get to write new rules for your own life.
And you get to show up for yourself without waiting or hoping for someone else to show up.
- Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. (Marilyn Monroe)
It’s often only in hindsight that we see purpose in life’s darkest moments.
Perhaps that’s because we have plowed through and risen up against the odds to be able to assign purpose. Purpose to the past. Purpose to the future.
As impossible as it may seem to rise from the ashes, trust that Life knows how to transform your pain.
Even when there is regret, Life offers the consolation of wisdom to prepare you for something even better. Something you wouldn’t have even recognized if you hadn’t experienced and endured the pain.
In other words, the company you keep has a profound influence on how you think and on the choices you make.
It’s also a reflection of your influence.
Unfortunately, marrying someone doesn’t guarantee the quality or integrity of his or her influence. It also doesn’t guarantee that your relationship will bring out the best in one another.
A person doesn’t have to be a “bad” person to be wrong for your life. If you and your spouse are stuck in patterns you can’t break through, you may notice that you’re “stuck” in other ways, too.
As painful as divorce is, sometimes it opens the door to just the right energy for your life.
Getting through divorce is, in many ways, a lesson in resilience.
It’s also a lesson in resourcefulness. Where will you turn for answers, support, inspiration?
Taping self-help notes and life-after-divorce quotes to your mirror may seem far-fetched at first.
But remember that you’re writing the rules now. And that means you get to fill your home, your mind, your life with anything and everything that lifts you up.
I’m Dr. Karen Finn, a divorce and life coach. If you’d like additional support rebuilding your life after divorce, you can join my newsletter list for free weekly advice or you can schedule a 30-minute private consultation with me.