Surviving Infidelity

How To Survive Infidelity And Betrayal Without Betraying Yourself

Confident woman who has figured out how to survive infidelity and betrayal.

You need to pause and get clear on what you want.

Learning your spouse has had or is having an affair is earth-shattering. In an instant, the implicit trust you’ve given them – and built your life upon – evaporates. And, shell-shocked, you’re left wondering how to survive infidelity and betrayal and move forward.

When you discover your spouse has lied to you about their fidelity, it’s natural to wonder what else they’ve been duplicitous about. When you’re married, it’s also natural to define yourself in terms of your marriage.

So, it makes sense that when you discover that your marriage wasn’t what you thought it was, you seriously question how you’ll survive and what is real.

And the only way to begin answering these questions for yourself is to gain clarity on what has happened, what it means to you, and what you want for your life.

What is the difference between infidelity and betrayal?

According to the dictionary, infidelity is the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner. In other words, infidelity is about sex.

Wikipedia defines betrayal in this way: Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral…

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Which Marriages Survive Infidelity & How To Tell If Yours Is One Of Them

Unhappy couple holding pillows and wondering not only which marriages survive infidelity, but if theirs will.

Knowing which marriages survive infidelity can help you find hope (or know it's over).

If your world has been thrown off its axis by an affair, you may wonder which marriages survive infidelity. You may wonder how it’s even possible to survive such a gutting of the intrinsic trust in a marriage.

And your doubt wouldn’t be unfounded. After all, nothing more completely undermines the most foundational premise of marriage than infidelity.

When your life has been turned inside out by betrayal, it’s only natural to feel confused, ungrounded, and unsure of your future. And that’s true for both the betrayed and the partner who strayed.

If you aren’t ready to sign divorce papers, knowing which marriages survive infidelity can help you assess the prognosis for your own marriage.

Simply knowing that marriages do survive infidelity -- and even come out stronger than ever -- can be a ray of hope.

Dr. Joe Kort, PhD believes that the frequency of infidelity is actually much higher than the numbers often cited. He also says that infidelity is the number-one reason people come to him for therapy. In his experience, these clients genuinely want to work through the trauma of infidelity and come out the other end…

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How To Get Over An Affair When You Cheated

Man holding his head and wondering about how to get over an affair when you cheated.

The path forward won’t be easy, but healing is possible.

When infidelity quakes a marriage, concern usually rallies around the betrayed spouse. Figuring out how to get over an affair when you cheated is most often left to...well...you.

Overcoming infidelity is a gut-wrenching process, regardless of a decision to stay in or leave the marriage.

Your load of guilt, confusion and loneliness may weigh in close to the weight of your spouse’s pain. But you may not feel worthy of the same sympathy and support available to your devastated spouse.

The jilted spouse may feel surprising emotions like shame and embarrassment, and may not want to share the reality with anyone. But there will always be an abundance of supportive resources to guide him/her to healing.

Learning how to get over an affair when you cheated, however, and assuming you want to repair your marriage requires your commitment to healing two lives: your spouse’s and your own. And that can feel like a double life in itself.

Even if your marriage dissolves as a result of your infidelity, you will have to do a lot of work to heal from your affair. You will have guilt, loss and behavioral patterns to process.

And…

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How To Get Over A Divorce And An Affair

Man looking out at a lake wondering how to get over a divorce and an affair.

No matter how bad things seem now, you can get through this.

The divorce devastated you. The affair that caused it all but destroyed you. Knowing how to get over a divorce and an affair seems all but impossible.

It’s a sobering reality that we just take for granted the “around 50%” divorce rate in the US. Even worse when you consider the higher rates for subsequent marriages, or the percentage of divorces prompted by infidelity.

But those are just statistics -- pragmatic pie charts of connubial destiny in America. They tell you nothing about the feelings, histories and struggles of the people who make up the numbers. And they show you nothing about how to get over a divorce and an affair.

The list of collateral damage from divorce will come as no surprise. There is the plummet into sadness, anger, confusion and all the stages of grief. There are the financial ramifications and the short- and long-term trauma to children.

Add to an already painful experience the rip-your-heart-out scourge of infidelity, and those consequences become amplified and even more complex.

When an infidelity leads to divorce, both the betrayed and the betrayer are left with heavy consequences. How to get ovre a divorce and an affair…

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How To Get Over An Affair Your Husband Had And Make Your Marriage Work

Woman embracing her husband after discovering how to get over an affair your husband had.

It won’t be easy, but you can get past this and create a better marriage together.

How do you get past this? Knowing how to get over an affair your husband had when you can’t even breathe -- it feels impossible. How can you even want to stay with him? And how do you imagine life without him?

Affairs aren’t the exclusive scarlet letter of the immoral and heartless. They happen with and to all kinds of people...and to all kinds of marriages. They may be thoughtless, selfish and seemingly heartless in terms of damage done. But they are not necessarily the choice of those incapable of love and commitment.

And that can make your decision of whether and how to get over an affair your husband had and make your marriage work all the more difficult.

It’s easy to jump to the conclusion that, if your husband has an affair, he is choosing the “other woman” over you. It’s only natural to assume that he wants her more than he wants you. And therein lies the sting that causes your self-esteem, self-worth and dreams to implode.

People may think they know how they would act in response to learning of a spouse’s affair.…

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