- February 18, 2014
You are so much stronger than you think.
"I abdicated responsibility for myself." That’s what I heard every time I looked in the mirror.
"I abdicated responsibility for myself." I heard it again anytime I allowed myself even a brief break from being busy — way too busy.
"I abdicated responsibility for myself. I abdicated responsibility for myself. I abdicated responsibility for myself." It was a horrible, accusing chant that never let up.
It was also true.
When I got divorced, I had to face a lot of things — a lot of things that didn't make me feel so hot about myself. This one, giving up responsibility for myself, was one of the hardest because it was so embarrassing; because I was an incredibly responsible person when it came to everyone and everything else, and because I wasn't exactly sure how to take responsibility for me.
Like most girls my age, I grew up with a set of confusing expectations. My mom stayed at home. Her daily focus was on raising the five of us kids and taking care of our home. My dad was the breadwinner and took care of the yard and cars. Yet my parents were well aware of the social changes going…
Read more: Pesky Divorce Lies You Must Stop Telling Yourself
- February 10, 2014
Tip #20: Visit a pet shelter for some serious snuggle time.
Whether you're single by choice or circumstance, Valentine's Day can seem more like Single's Awareness Day instead of a day celebrating love. Rather than dreading February 14, why not try something different? Celebrating with your girlfriends is a great alternative to sitting at home alone or feeling jealous about the flowers that co-worker received from her boyfriend.
So in the spirit of love, here are 30 ideas to spark your creativity for celebrating this Valentine's Day with your besties.
- Host a karaoke night.
- Have a Wii dance party. You might want to try Zumba, belly dancing, disco or stripper moves.
- Go out for manis and pedis.
- Treat each other to lunch. Yes, you'll each still have a bill, but somehow it's still fun to know you were treated to lunch!
- Send each other a gift at work. Who doesn't love to receive flowers or chocolate for Valentine's Day and letting the whole office see?
- Send each other "what I love about you" notes. This is your chance to tell her how much you love her brilliance or kindness or sense of humor or… And you'll get to hear the same from her!
Read more: 30 Awesome Ideas for Valentine’s Friend Dates
- February 3, 2014
This is a post by guest blogger Joy Ragan.
There is often a misconception that your attorney should be an extension of you. People believe the attorney is supposed to “speak on their behalf” and, therefore, should say or do exactly as the client directs. This is a dangerous way of thinking. Attorneys do speak for clients. Attorneys are their voice in the courtroom. However, attorneys are not puppets. If you and your attorney are not on the “same page” it probably means you have a good attorney.
Think of it this way, attorneys work in the system daily. Attorneys know the ways of the court system. They see thousands of cases and have a very different perspective from those who are going through a divorce. Attorneys are trained to deal with a case as a set of facts and to apply those facts to the law to gain the best possible result for the client. A person who is going through a divorce does not look at the situation in this way at all. It is actually a very unnatural way to view your circumstances. Especially in a divorce, there are many emotions. On some level, you want your attorney to “be on the…
Read more: My Attorney and I Aren’t on the Same Page – What Now?
- January 27, 2014
Here's some parenting advice for whatever stage of separation or divorce you're in.
Raising kids is a huge job made even trickier when dealing with separation and divorce. Although there are no easy answers, here is my best parenting advice for rising to the challenge. This may seem like an odd question, but how many times have you heard a flight attendant say the following?
"In case there is a loss in cabin pressure, yellow oxygen masks will deploy from the ceiling compartment located above you. To secure, pull the mask towards you, secure the elastic strap to your head, and fasten it so it covers your mouth and nose. Breathe normally. Even if the bag does not inflate, please keep in mind that oxygen is flowing. Please make sure to secure your own mask before assisting others."
You hear it every single time you fly. No exceptions.
I think that getting divorced and a sudden loss of cabin pressure during flight have a lot in common. They're both scary and you need to take care of yourself first. Unless you're able to think clearly and take action when it's needed, you won't do anyone else any good. And, believe it or not, taking care…
Read more: 3 Priceless (Yet Practical!) Tips For Co-Parenting After Divorce
- January 14, 2014
Despite stress, confusion and misery. There's a gift in divorce if you look for it.
Have you heard the story of the frog in the pot? In case you haven't, it goes something like this. Imagine you took one of your old pots down to your local pond on a frog hunt. Your goal is to capture a frog along with some of the pond in your pot and bring your prizes back home. After sloshing through the muck for a while, you hear a ribbit off to your right. You slog your way as quietly as you can toward the sound and there it is the source of the ribbit — a huge frog! You slowly sneak up on the warty warbling beast and capture him, his lily pad and a bunch of pond water in your old pot.
Covered with a bit of pond scum, you make your way back home with your prize. When you walk in your front door, you make your way to the kitchen where you put the pot containing the frog, lily pad and pond water on the stove and turn the burner on low. Almost immediately, the frog is contentedly ribbiting away. You head off to change…
Read more: Rediscovering You After Divorce